Every time I see someone act like having a plant is a lot of work I have to side eye them like. Stop buying notoriously high maintenance plants then. No, most plants give zero shits abt pH. I have over 100 plants in my tiny apartment and the grand total avg work I do per month is Just watering them once bc I choose low maintenance plants that can handle oh i forgot to check them for weeks to water (in fact, one time i didnt water my plants for 8mo. I still have those plants, theyre fine, bc i keep plants that live w those conditions naturally). Once a year, I go thru and clean up dead leaves and upgrade pots as needed but mine are so slow growing i rarely have to do that. Ive had 1 pest issue in 8yrs of my shelving system, no diseases. Im physically disabled, the most i put myself through is step ladders to water my plants on high shelves and moving decently sized plants in ceramic or concrete pots, sometimes weeding gravel on a really good day. Im not out here pruning trees with anything more involved than telescoping loppers even tho I have a good basis of training in that (I am not an arborist to be clear) bc it will hurt me and it isnt worth it.
Heres the thing. People get really frustrated and discouraged abt having plants bc they have no idea how to pick a plant to fit their lifestyle, circumstances, and space. In addition to having this idea in their head that theyre terrible at taking care of plants if they kill one. The former is easily solved w basic education abt how plants work and how to find accurate info and get help. The secret for the latter is that every single person who has plants no matter their skill level has a huge graveyard of plants behind them. Everyone has a type of plant they fucking suck at keeping alive too. Mine is ferns, esp maidenhair. Maidenhair will die if you let the soil dry out, therefore it is banned from my home. Everything i keep Requires drying out between waterings bc of my time blindness. Figure out what you suck at and dont buy plants that you are going to struggle to manage. Its that simple. Hell and you can even have different plants to help you keep track of shit. What I do is i keep a variety of plants ranging from cacti to tropical and I keep a plant that is very visually communicative abt when it needs water in my bathroom. When that one, in a place I am guaranteed to see it every single day, tells me it wants water by drooping, it reminds me to water all of my plants that I keep behind privacy screens as a measure to keep my pets out and tone down the intensity of the lights. Thus, a schedule is created that i can follow that isnt reliant on My memory and concept of time by using a natural visual cue.
Have issues w light indoors? Buy a fucking LED plant light. The investment is worth it and shit is way cheaper than it used to be. I had to pay $180 for a 4ft T5 8yrs ago and that doesnt include the replacement fluorescent bulbs. That was ONE of my SIX lights. Energy bill was crazy and they get stupid hot. That is not necessary anymore. I have a clamp style LED in my bathroom that I got for <$20 bc the overhead light in a windowless room wasnt adequate for the dracaena and my partner who has a normal schedule manages turning it off and on for me daily. I have 6x 4ft full spectrum high intensity LED poles mounted to steel shelving and daisy chained to each other that cost me a grand total of $150 and it is all hooked up to an outlet timer so i dont have to remember to turn them off and on every day bc i Will Not remember. The energy bill is much better. Mind you im growing dragonfruit n shit in a place it snows and is below 50 for 8mo out of the year. I have an agave. Numerous cacti including prickly pear and 2 succulent rotting flesh plants. Im not fucking w oh do I have a south facing window and can I keep my plants warm bc i moved w these specialized plants Knowing I care about them enough to manipulate my environment to keep them alive. This was an active choice i made, this was and is a big priority for me. You do not need to do this if it doesnt suit you.
Ppl are always so confused when they ask me plant care questions and I turn the conversation first to talking abt you. Your tastes, your lifestyle, your patterns. Im not going to tell you do xyz and expect you to magically have a routine if you have adhd ykwim. Im going to tell you what to do that will give you the most success and if you want something particular, im going to be very honest w you abt what youre getting into, physically and financially. I can educate you til we both die but thats not gonna fix executive dysfunction or disability or whatever your wall is. I love plants so much and I go out of my way to spread the love wherever I can and give people good options for getting into this, as a hobby or a job. The problem isnt that plants are hard, they can be incredibly complex and there is a difference, and I am more than happy to help you learn where your line is for the amount of complexity you want to handle. I LOVE teaching ppl abt plants but you dont have to know everything, just what is relevant. But also, youre gonna have to be ok w plants dying. Tis the reality of having plants. If you get really depressed bc you killed a plant, dont have plants or better yet, try propagating to get used to it. You will have losses and need to cull. You need to approach every death as information and a learning opportunity, whether thats how to do it better w the next one or simply not wasting your money on that kind of plant.
But pls dont act like all plants are impossible and a huge amount of labor just bc you only have the narrowest view of the options out there, often informed by a small selection at a home depot/grocery store or whatever and plantfluencer bullshit. There are over 350,000 plant species that we know of currently w massively different needs and growth and everything. No one knows everything abt plants, its fucking impossible for one person to know all of that, and thats the beauty of it. There's nothing wrong w struggling with plants, but you Can grow plants w little to no frustration if youre willing to learn and change your approach and make better choices abt your purchases (I say that bc the ppl im addressing are often not the ones doing propagation themselves) if the frustration is a problem for you. My point is there are solutions. Dont be scared and dont trick yourself into being daunted by an amount of labor you are not hard required to do. This is a science and an art and you can experiment!
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