I'm here.

its like two drunks girls meeting in the bathroom

turns out my life purpose isn’t supposed to be as small and silent and accommodating and convenient as possible

Thor is like a jock from school who everyone thought was average at best with school. But then one day someone just “Wait a second, he’s in all advanced classes,” and everyone realises that he’s never done anything to make people think he’s not super smart- he’s just so nonchalant about his smarts people didn’t notice

having cash is like having secret money. like whos gonna find out i’m buying tacos with this crisp $20 bill??? not my bank account, that’s for sure

lilo was PEAK weird little girl representation like. all “weird” disney characters just fall under quirky cute no lilo was IT. she gave peanut butter sandwiches to a FISH because IT CONTROLLED THE WEATHER. the range

Why do we wrap the wee one like they’re a burrito?

It’s a good way to keep them warm at night without them getting wrapped up in blankets (can lead to accidental suffocation) and also assures that they won’t scratch their little face in their sleep! Plus they tend to enjoy being wrapped up or swaddled, it makes them feel safe and calm!

I love burrito baby

Yknow when you let someone use one of your Good Pens™️ and theyre like “this is a really good pen” like 👀👌🏾i know and im watching u bicth