glugglugglugglug

it's easy for me to tell who is possessed by dark spirits and who isnt

“source?” the mold in my water bottle told me

It's kinda funny when you get a bunch of likes but no reblogs like I enjoyed your post but I'd prefer if no one else saw it

Changing the relationship status to "Stalemate"

Changing the relationship status to "Uneasy truce"

Changing the relationship status to "Mutually assured destruction"

Love the fact that in any other time period or country, a presidential assassination attempt is constant headline news worldwide, but at this point it's like, "oh, someone took another shot at trump? ... he dead?... no, then why are you bothering me?... Let me know when he's dead."

they just don’t make stores with tvs in the window all playing the same channel for you to stop and watch on the street when something horrifically terrible and/or amazingly awesome is happening anymore

I just saw the world's freshest baby in Panera bread. Like that thing was JUST out of the oven. I've heard of being wet behind the ears but this baby was wet behind the everything. It was still damp.

do not unfollow me one day i will be your 30 year old mutual