im not a bot i just use a sideblog

can’t trust anyone who criticises the mamma mia movie. like wtf are you even criticising. the plot?? the characterisation?? my brother in christ they put meryl streep, colin firth and amanda seyfried on an island, got them drunk and asked them to sing abba songs in the campest way possible that’s LITERALLY. IT. by this point you have to just assume that you’re the problem.

i’ve never before heard something simultaneously be a roast and the highest of praise

@wait-its-sol

OH MY GOD.

Ok so not only is this person a fantastic singer, this is also fucking hilarious

This is amazing!!!

Imagine jigsaw bringing the current torture puzzle to a screeching halt to announce over the PA system: “oh my god guys they got the pentagon!!”

@shittysawtraps I think this is your niche

saw alternate ending where jigsaw says, “I’m sorry, this is too overwhelming given the circumstances. you’re free to go.”

i wish the average person knew how good gerard way was at posting

OMG!  I thought it was going to be a message about perseverance or it never being too late to follow your dreams, but nooooooo.  This is excellent storytelling.

I’m fine. I’m fine I am not at all emotionally wrecked by this.

Fucking emotionally manipulative bullshit. *sobs*

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

The hero we deserve

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

god I love tiny kids

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”

I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said “vodka” and me and the parents just fucking lost it

kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled, “MAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.”

I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go ‘I love your picture, that’s a great drawing Miss’. So blindly supportive.

One time my younger brother ordered a “non-alcoholic fanta” at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man

When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, “I used to be that free.”

oh my god little kids in the library are the BEST one time i was looking for a book and a little girl tried to help me cause we always help HER find the books she wants. sometimes when i’m helping them check out they’ll tell me about the books they’re getting. i know so much about dog man.

I know I’ve told this story on Tumblr before, but one of my favorite retail experiences was when I was stocking shelves once and dropped a couple of small plastic toys, and a little girl ZOOMED up, grabbed them, held them up to me, and when I thanked her, said “I’m closer to the floor, so it’s TEAMWORK! :D” and zoomed off back to her mom

I was telling a kindergarten class (4/5 year olds) that we’re hosting a book fair next week and they would need to ask their parents for money. One girl very excitedly told me she has “one money” in her piggy bank. Her classmate, vibrating with excitement, said, “I have TOO MUCH money! I have ten dollars!”

a marathon route ran past my apartment this morning and from my window I heard a small child yell at the top of her lungs, utterly bewildered, “WHERE ARE THEY ALL GOING???”

I am always blown away by this. Like. This little girl was alive and laughing and wearing her little hat and in the sunshine over 100 years ago. And her cat was eating little treats from her hands and having a fun little time over 100 years ago. Like. Their existence in history is recorded as so much more than the moody and serious black and white Victorian family portraits. AND WE GET TO SEE IT AND FEEL AS HAPPY AS THEY WERE! I have so many feelings!

If anybody wants to look it up, it’s called “La Petite Fille et son Chat”.

it'd be really fucking funny if you met your significant other in a saw trap. like you're at a family reunion and some distant cousin asks how you met and you have to be like "yeah they had to pull out some of my teeth. but the chemistry was great."

when you get married you send jigsaw an invitation as a joke but he actually shows up

you know when little kids are told to smile for the camera and they do the biggest grin bc they aren’t self conscious about their teeth yet they just give it their all.. that’s wat this looks like