rats rats rats

if you escape you get knocked out and wake up on a park bench wearing a shirt that says “celebrating 650 years of the bubonic plague!” with a get well soon balloon tied to your wrist and a 20$ bill in your pocket to cover the taxi fare to the hospital

this was funnier in my head

Imagine, if you will, a dance studio. This studio is regarded globally as one of the, if not the most prestigious academy of its kind. It can accommodate dozens upon dozens of troupes, and provides arrangements specific for every single style of dance, no matter how specific. Even the design of the building itself is very ergonomic: the main entrance, or lobby, leads into a neat row of hallways, one for each generic classification (tap dance, ballet, etc). These broad, “generic” hallways then branch into several narrower “subtype” paths, which finally lead to a sort of cul-de-sac of individual, enclosed studio rooms for several groupings of dancers to practice in.

Now, back in the lobby, there is a P.A. speaker hanging in the entranceway of each “generic” hallway. These speakers play live audio feeds of the dancers practicing in each studio room, swapping to the next after allotments of about twenty seconds. The sound systems are in excellent quality, and you can listen with near-perfect clarity whence you are near them. Not only that, but they are spaced just so that- as long as you are not standing in the front of the lobby, or in between two of the halls- you will only hear one P.A. speaker at a time.

Now, imagine a pack of enraged silverback gorillas are released all at once into the dance studio. It does not matter in what mode of transport they were delivered, or the party who delivered them. What matters is that they are all profusely enraged, and looking to attack anything that poses a modicum of a threat to them. Normally, this would extend to the gorillas fighting each other- but in this scenario, every individual gorilla is enclosed in a personalized forcefield bubble that prevent them exclusively from harming another gorilla. Any given primate cannot punch, kick, or throw objects at another gorilla. As such, they instead focus their anger on the likes of the dance studio- and the people inside it. The gorillas, being naturally intelligent creatures, listen in to the P.A. speakers one by one, as to decide which studio room to target first (they are unfamiliar with the terrain, and because they cannot harm each other, they have decided to operate as a single unit).

Now, Katrina, in these circumstances, what type of style- depending on music, and then the specific movement of the dance- do you believe would be the most objectively likely to merit the wrath of a tribe of embittered, invincible, silverback gorillas? There is a pen and paper on the table before you to write down your answer, as well as a cohesive list illustrating every style of dance being practiced in the studio. In the far left corner, there is a 1980s Emerson 13" CRT Tube Color TV, and roughly 450 VHS cassette tapes containing footage of each dance style practiced, nearly identical to the list- though in a separate order entirely. Additionally, these VHS tapes are labeled using doctors’ prescription shorthand, and thus are very difficult to decipher for anyone unfamiliar with the methodology.

If you are unable to provide a written answer, provide an unclear written answer, or an incorrect written answer, in the provided span of six hours, then forty outraged silverback gorillas will be unleashed upon you via the row of forty separate chambers, paneled on the south wall and currently locked.

1. The FBI's Famous Cases & Criminals archive (fbi.gov/history/famous-cases) has detailed breakdowns of real fraud cases, Ponzi schemes, and confidence operations. The language they use is clinical and precise, which is perfect for getting the procedural details right.

2. The FTC Consumer Sentinel Network publishes annual reports on the most common fraud tactics in the US. Great for understanding how modern scams actually work and what makes people fall for them.

3. The Smithsonian's American Art Museum has a free digital collection of forgery case studies. If your character forges documents or art, this is gold.

4. Court Listener (courtlistener.com) is a free legal database where you can read actual court transcripts from fraud trials. Want to know how a real con artist talks under oath? This is where you find out.

5. The Internet Archive's collection of old newspaper crime sections. Search for "confidence man" or "swindle" in papers from the 1920s through 1960s and you'll find incredible real stories that would feel too dramatic for fiction.

Bonus: The Psychology of Fraud section on the Association for Psychological Science website has accessible articles about why people trust, how deception works cognitively, and what makes someone a convincing liar. Essential reading if you want your con artist characters to feel psychologically real.

So random Eridian scientists are talking to Grace and are like, absolutely no disrespect intended, but very interesting Rocky overcame the cultural weirdness and sensory disgust of "hugs" and does them despite no benefit to himself because he cares for your needs! Its sweet!

Grace: actually Rocky freaks out if he cant press himself against my lungs and heart through the thinnest xenonite possible until he can hear every muscle cell in my body moving at least once a day.