random shit tbh

Hermes is in that penny you found in the middle of your walk home.

Hermes is that guy who thinks this time is gonna be the time he wins the jackpot, and fails.

Hermes is that olympic runner who came 4th and didn't quite make it to bronze by a little bit.

Hermes is that teenager who has started stealing cheap earrings at the mall.

Hermes is next to a dying woman who was awful to her kids, waiting completely alone until it's time to take her with him.

Hermes is a kid's pet turtle who keeps falling to its back and being unable to turn around.

Hermes is an Italian man who has been living in Germany for six months trying really hard to give directions to a Russian woman who came to visit her sister.

Hermes is that non-native English speaker who is absolutely baffled when they fail a small exercise in a test and starts hating their teacher even though they were, indeed, very wrong.

Hermes is that novelist who has a kid with dyslexia.

Hermes is that astrology girlie who has believed a ton of misinformation and is slowly relearning everything from scratch.

Son of Maia,

Messenger of the Gods,

Friend of Humanity

Loquacious Lord of Larceny

You who announce your presence

breaking sudden silence in lively conversation,

You who consort with

mortals,

muses,

and miracles

You who transcend

the boundaries

of Liminality

of Reality

of Nationality

Hermes

I offer you

words instead of wines

verses in lieu of votives

ideas in place of idols

I build your temple,

Son of Maia

with sacred skipping stones

salvaged from the seven seas

& fountains of fonts

Flowing into forever

I build your altar Lord of Language

with swirling synonyms

and Homeric homonyms

knowing that on

your silver tongue,

they shape

fate,

fame,

& fortune

May my luck hold fast

May I find what I need &

the wisdom to recognize it.

May I navigate this cursed labyrinth

to find safe harbor.

May our hosts always be

as generous as we are,

& may the strength of our community,

be the strength of our friendship,

Son of Maia

Hermes: Hey you want some molly?

Odysseus: Of course, the flower that protects mortals from poisons arcane and mundane, but which would surely strike me dead were I to pluck it from the ground! Your boon is... I'm sorry, you did say moly, right?

i think there's been a misunderstanding

First - Previous - Next

(also i should mention to not confuse people, i did change simon's outfit to be more like his movie-one. i just didn't like drawing the one i put him in. i hadn't thought too far ahead when making that first comic so now im kinda retcon-ing the "lore" to fit my new plan, as vaguely described below \/)

ive got a bit more of a plan now so i dooonnttt think ill need to retcon anything else?? also fun to realize im not stuck in my previous past mistakes because this is literally a fan comic and i can do what i want

close ups (+ the full prayer since people kept asking) \/

Why does Susie turn Buddy into brute Boris when that doesn’t line up with her goals AT ALL?

Joey wanted to torment Henry by forcing him to fight and put down his new friend.

Why does Sammy go on this “betrayeddddd… abandoned… i trusted you! I gave you everything!” Spiel when him and Henry were never friends?

Joey was projecting his feelings about Henry through Sammy.

Why are Tom and Allison the worst allies? (I love em but they’re terrible allies in batim)

Joey still holds contempt for Henry (“i gave Henry an angel of his own” my ass)

Why does Alice make you destroy the bendy cut outs?

Joey was tired of drawing all of them at weird angles

How come Buddy survived so long on his own?

He reminded Joey of the parts of Henry he liked best that couldn't be tainted by the actual Henry he was long gone, only switching up when he realised how close the two had gotten

Why can you kill the projectionist twice?

Anyway I swear the invisible man is like the one thing keeping me sane(ironic, ain't it?) right now. I think about that book so much. Maybe one day I'll write an essay about it, even. Or a webcomic based around it. Or maybe just fanfiction about my self indulgent AU where kemp didn't turn Griffin to the cops ig and they got along-

I trully believe that if Kemp didn't snitch Griffin to the cops, he could have became a better person. Eh, i don't know, but like. He wasn't a very nice person(what with the arson and stealing stuff), but people weren't very nice to him either. I don't have the energy or vocabulary to express what I want to say I think(and it's been a while since I read the book so correct me if i'm wrong), but in some way, he kind of became a monster since everyone saw him as such(ironic considering people can't really SEE him), he became one. But maybe, just once, if he didn't have to run or hide or stay in the cold naked, maybe, just maybe, he'd grow and change. I just don't think he's completely irredeemable. This is just how I felt reading this book during summer because my teacher decided to give us homework consisting of reading 6 different books(and I'm forever grateful for it because I discovered my love for this book and for gothic literature in general).

As it is Griffin seems like a man who has zero description skills so just digs himself into an even worse situation when given the chance too, and like he was pretty cut off from people even before turning himself Invisible.

•First things first you will not be spared from the riddles in fact you become his go to whenever he has a new riddle he wants to test out.

•you first meet due to you accidently driving him insane. It is no secret that Edward is meticulous sure his work space may look like a bomb has hit it but everything has its place and he knows where everything is supposed to be. So when thing start going missing or end up in an entirely different spots he knows something is going on and he is determined to get to the bottom of it. he starts off by laying out various traps thinking that the missing food is due to mice. but when time and time again the traps prove to be unsuccessful he decided to take it up a notch building more complicated traps and setting up multiple hidden cameras in an attempt to see what he was dealing with. as he was starting to suspect that it might not be a mouse but rather someone pulling a prank on him and the silly part of him is wondering if it might be ghosts (you've hear that right, you've got the Riddler so worked up that he's starting to consider the supernatural). but still nothing seemed to be working and things were still going missing. at one point he even got into an argument with Jonathan accusing him of conducting some psychological experiment on him before Jonathan had enough and hung up the phone. For weeks he's been trying to solve this and it's slowly eating away at his psyche after all he is the Riddler there is no puzzle that he can't solve cough*batmans identity* cough. when finally, after months of this one of his surveillance camera picks up something and that something is a very small person. Meanwhile you've had your work cut out for you. At first you figured that you've hit the jackpot with this place due to its messy state you figured that there was no way that the resident would ever notice you and you could borrow to your hearts content. Well big surprise he noticed and not only did he notice but he put down so many traps that wile e coyote would be jealous. at this point the only thing preventing you from moving out is stubbornness, stubbornness and pride and ok you had to admit you were enjoying the mental challenge. Then it finally happened, you slipped up and found yourself trapped and the next thing you knew you were suddenly face to face with a very smug riddler.

•after your initial capture you essentially become one of Edwards pawns. Being used for testing puzzles traps, riddles and other experiments. it's not until you've proven to be quite intelligent that Edward slowly starts to develop a soft spot for you. Eventually you manage to escape but instead of leaving like you should you end up sticking around (your blaming the years of isolation finally getting to you) because despite everything you really like talking to Edward and enjoy mentally sparring with him. Edward is crushed after he finds out you've escaped but once he realises that you're still around just in hiding he gets to work. at this point Edward is no longer trying to capture you instead he is doing everything in his power to get you to talk to him.

•playing a lot of silly games together. It originally started with a game of two truths and a lie as a tactic Edward used to get you to talk and to find out more about you. At first you stayed silent he had held you captive after all and you were still feeling distrustful towards him. but after baiting you with more and more ridiculous claims curiosity eventually wins out and before you knew it you're playing the game. After that you find yourself talking to Edward a lot more and playing even more games (little did you know but you've brought out his competitive streak) from word games to paper to board games, to even having a trivia night every once in a while though you always loose as you don't really pay attention to what goes on in the world of human beans. However, Edwards go to game will always be a riddle off. 

•There have been moments when Edward has been particularly stressed he will just pick you up and use you as a fidget toy. Very carefully running his thumb and finger up and down your arm or leg occasionally squeezing it just to feel the muscles and bone underneath, rubbing circles into your stomach with his thumb, carefully using a finger to pet you starting from the top of your head before running it all the way down your back, or letting you run and drop from one hand to the other (like you do with a snake or a hamster) he is always incredibly gentle whenever he does this

•Builds smaller scale versions of his puzzle for you to try out. Edward is obsessed with puzzles so you better believe that he is sharing that obsession with you. When he hasn't got you answering riddles he will instead give you a puzzle to solve. it's also a good way of keeping you occupied so you don't distract him or get into trouble while he's working. these puzzles that he gives you are always specifically designed to be non-lethal unlike the rest of his traps.

•On a sadder note he has accidently injured you. There was a moment where everything was going wrong, batman had managed to stop his latest plan before it had even started, his henchmen had messed up big time and to top it off his order for a critical part that he so desperately needed had been delayed and after finding that out Edward lost his temper. he ended up throwing and smashing some things in a fit of anger and unfortunately you got caught in the cross fire. The moment Edward heard you shriek he went cold, rushing over to where you were to find you curled up and clutching your arm. He freaks out, apologising over and over again, he goes to touch you only to pull back not wanting to hurt you anymore then he already has, as he keeps spewing out sorry after sorry after sorry. He ends up calling Jonathan to come help treat you and that’s when you learn you've broken your arm. over the next few days he withdraws into himself refusing to touch you and keeps his distance. It's not till you forcibly confront him and make him understand that while losing his temper and lashing out like that is not ok, it was an accident and you don't blame him for what happened or think any less of him.

•Building together. It's no secret that Edward is very tech-savvy and a brilliant mechanic but imagine his surprise when you turned out to be too. You’re a borrower after all and all borrowers have at least some basic knowledge and skill on how to make things. so now you both have work space's in his work shop were you work on your own individual projects. every now and then you both "offer" helpful advice to one another and what I mean by that is either Edward will condescendingly tell you what you are doing wrong and what to do to make it better or just butting in and doing it himself under the guise of showing you how it's done or you will see him struggling with what he's working on give him some advice or tell him where he went wrong and him immediately throwing a hissy fit saying "I don't need your help I know perfectly well what I'm doing" only to follow your advice when he thinks you're no longer paying attention to him and if called out acting like it was his idea all along.

•at the beginning of your relationship Edward was very hesitant to pick you up. He's never really been good with touch having been on the receiving end of abuse for the majority of his life, he's not use to touch being a positive thing. but after a while he eventually got more comfortable with holding you but unfortunately this lead him to develop a nasty habit of grabbing you without care or warning. At the time he didn't really see what the big deal was, it wasn't until you started flinching away from his touch that he realised he messed up. Now he always asks for permission first, holding out his hand as he waits for you to make the first move and lets you know in advance if he's going to touch you.

•on the note of touch, Edward being very hesitant on you touching his neck. his neck has always been a very sensitive spot for him and it doesn't help that he has a lot of trauma relating to people grabbing and strangling him. he actively flinched the first time he felt you lean against his neck, with you immediately apologising and actively keeping your distance from that point on. and it wasn't until he gave you permission that you slowly start to get him accustomed to you touching him. it will take a long time but gradually he will get used to it and as long as you respect his boundaries he won't mind you snuggling up to him.

•Him forgetting about his cup of coffee and you taking sips out of it throughout the day and him suddenly having to deal with a hyperactive borrower that’s bouncing off of the walls

•Sitting on his shoulder and watching him work and subsequently falling asleep there because unlike him you actually have something of a sleep schedule (I say while writing this at 2:00 in the morning)

•on that note enabling each other's bad sleeping habits. Edward has a tendency to work for days on end only really falling asleep when he crashes from exhaustion. And with you being a borrower you're accustomed to keeping very strange hours as in the past you would often have to plan your borrowing schedule around when people would be out or sleeping. this results in you taking a lot of naps together. Even then getting Edward to sleep is a struggle and you're not always able to convince him to go to sleep. There is a beat up old couch in his work shop for when you do manage to convince him to take a nap (which is why it was put there in the first place). In these moments you make sure to take a nap with him (usually laying in the space between his neck and collar bone or on top of his chest right were his heart is) as you've discovered he is less likely to get up and go back to work if your sleeping on him. But most of the time you will find him passed out at his desk and after making sure that whatever he's currently working on is safely put away and not in danger of causing an injury or a small fire. You will squeeze your way into his arms before cuddling up in his hold and falling asleep yourself. Some hours later Edward will wake up to find you asleep in the crook of his elbow or pressed against his face.

•Edward does have a bad habit of not letting you do things yourself. Like when you're in the process of scaling the kitchen cupboard to get to the counter only for Edward to suddenly appear and lift you up the rest of the way. or when you're trying to open a packet or box of food only for him to pick it up and do it for you. being babied like this will get infuriating very quickly and things unfortunately end up boiling over and you ended up having a huge fight because of this. With you yelling how much hate him treating you like your incapable of doing anything for yourself and how useless it makes you feel and him confirming that you are useless and unable to look after yourself. After hearing that you could feel your insides go cold before you end up retreating back into the walls and crying for a bit. you end up avoiding him after the argument. Meanwhile Edward is beating himself up over what he said, he knows you aren’t really useless in fact your very capable, it's just he cares a lot about you and worries. he keeps thinking about what he said over and over, and desperately wants to make it up to you. so after enough stewing he resolves to make things right. sometime after the fight Edward will cautiously approach you to talk about what happened. It's one of the very few times that Edward will out right apologise and while it will take some time for things to heal it's a step in the right direction. Once all of the sentimental stuff is out of the way Edward will excitedly insist on showing you what he's been working on that’s when you find out what he's done for you. you now have an army of riddle bots at your disposal always ready and willing to help you whenever the need should arise. He has also installed modified hamster tubing, bridges and stairs all around his hideout so that you can get where you want to go without trouble. On that point he has also created a bunch of other thing to help you out should you need them. it's his way of compromising and saying he's sorry

•Edward becomes very protective of you whenever Jonathan or jervis come over to the point where he will refuse to let them anywhere near you. Often picking you up and holding you close or just straight up putting you in his shirt pocket. Jonathan finds his actions highly amusing and will purposely tease you to get under Edwards skin.

•follow up, before Edward officially introduced you to the two your existence lead to some very awkward situations. as at the time Edward is trying to honour your wishes and keep your existence a secret (not to mention there's a small possessive part of him that likes the fact that he has you all to himself). This lead to Jonathan or Jervis walking in on him "talking to himself" quite a bit. now this isn't unusual, as Edward will often mutter to himself while working. what wasn't normal was him expecting a reply and then acting like he just got one. There were also moments when they would visit that Edward would suddenly start acting off diverting their attention or keeping them distracted. there was even one moment where Jervis was heading towards the kitchen and Edward just threw himself at him before corralling him to the other side of the room, only to body block john when he tries to do the same. he's not subtle and they can tell something is up. It's after one too many strange occurrences they ended up thinking he had developed schizophrenia, either that or he's tried to go a week without sleeping again. it wasn't until they staged the rogues equivalent of an intervention (which involved tying Edward to a chair) that you finally revealed yourself. Cue Jervis gushing over how tiny you are while john observes from a distance meanwhile Edward is still tied to the chair and getting pretty annoyed.

•developing your own secret cypher code together. This ended up happening after you told Eddie about borrowers use of symbols and naturally he was curious to learn more, one thing led to another and now you've got your own personal secret language. though you to hardly ever use it.

•Edward slowly starting to gift you riddle themed items. It started out subtle, replacing existing things that you own with things that he'd make you which coincidentally would be cover in his iconic symbol. Making subtle suggestions about how you should decorate your space then coincidently the materials would suddenly appear ready for use, or gifting you clothing that went with his colour theme (side note Edward is not a sewer so he had to bribe Jervis to make you these things) until one day you realise that your home now looks like Edwards lair 2.0

•gifting him screws and bolts and other things of that ilk that you find while borrowing, that you think he might find useful. He will also call you whenever he needs assistance when working with something fiddly in a very small space or help finding things that he has lost or that have fallen into a tight space as you can reach many small spaces that he can't.

•Edward calling you his little question

•unlike with Oswald or Harley he won't get you, your own doll house. Instead he sets up your very own space within his lair. This space is spread across three shelves and completely yours to do with as you see fit. it mainly consists of a living room, a dining room, a kitchen, a work space and a spare bedroom. it's also completely open to the rest of the lair but Edward has installed some privacy curtains should you need them. And while you still mainly reside in your own home within the walls it's still nice to have your own space within his home.

•as a borrower, Edward knows you don't really get to experience things like regular people do. so he has made it a point to take you out and experience the world (ironic seeing how much of a shut in he can be). So far you've gone to different museums, art galleries, festivals and even a few galas. usually these trips double as recon for his next big heist or scheme against the batman

•him correcting your language whenever you use the borrower version of certain words such as human beans. though your way of speaking has started to slip into his vocabulary once he accidently uses a borrower term to describe something and you did not let it go for a week

•taking care of Edward when he forgets to take care of himself. As I've already mentioned Edward has a consist habit of working himself to the bone all will often forget to eat and drink, so it sometimes falls on you to make sure he stays alive. this mostly involves ordering take out on his behalf as your too small to really cook a full course meal for him, or bringing him water bottles so he stays hydrated. This usually involves you filling up and dragging a water bottle across his lair on a little handmade cart. once instead of dragging a water bottle across the lair you instead constructed a pipeline of straws directly feeding into his cup. Ed only noticing what you had done when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye (you will make sure this man takes care of himself DAMN IT!)

•doing the crossword together in the mornings. This is not as wholesome as it seems as Edward can be quite the early bird when he's not working himself into a coma and if he's up then so are you. he will often bang on the wall until you make an appearance, half asleep and very grumpy about being woken up so early only to be bombarded by questions when all you really want is coffee

•you hiding all of the writing utensils and some of Edwards tools whenever you to have an argument, is it childish and a bit petty yes but most of the time your too mad to care. this results in Edward going through the five stages of grief seeing as there is no way he is going to apologise out right. First he'll try bargaining, bribing you with all sorts of tempting offers and treats, but when that doesn’t work he'll quickly devolve into insults. Then he'll out right ignore you, even going so far as to go out and buy replacements of everything that you have hidden but that doesn't work for long as the moment he looks away your taking it and hiding it with the rest of his stuff. Then comes the sulking before finally after going all around the houses he will cave and apologise

•Edward using you as a substitute villains cat. Sitting you on his desk or holding you in his hands as he gently strokes your back while watching his latest plan unfold on the various different monitors in his hideout.

•you accidently starting a cryptid sighting messaging board for borrowers. Honestly it was a complete accident you were just making your way over to go and grab a snack and had no idea Edward was in the middle of livestreaming to all of Gotham. It wasn't until Edward was checking the internet for feedback on his latest scheme that he realised what had happened, luckily you were far enough in the background that the footage of you was very grainy. You then spent the next week and a bit doing everything in your power to stop it from gaining traction as borrowers aren't meant to be seen and you don't want to be the one who exposed borrowers to the world

•getting abducted by batman. It happened right after Edward's latest plan was foiled by the dark knight himself. Edward was in the process of being arrested by the GCPD his computers being confiscated as the police raided his lair and it was during the raid that Bruce noticed movement out of the corner of his eye and upon further investigation found you trying to quietly slip away. Bruce had, had an inkling about your existence for a while now fully thinking you were being held against your will or had developed some sort of Stockholm syndrome. Not wanting to alert your presence to the rest of the GCPD officers in the room he quickly slips you into a pocket of his utility belt before disappearing in classic batman fashion. cue an extremely awkward stay at the batcave while you're trying to figure out a way to escape and get back to Eddie which is proving to be extremely difficult (but hey at least you have steady supply of Alfred's cookies to enjoy before you officially make your daring escape). In the end you didn't have to because once Edward finds out that batman has you. he threatens to blow up the entire city unless you were safely returned within 24 hours. (Bruce dose eventually give you back but not without the loss of Gotham city stadium) once your back with Edward he will not let you leave his side for a good week after.

•victory nuzzles, whenever something goes Edwards way or he's in an extremely good mood he will pick you up and nuzzle you for all he's worth. As a side note he will also go out of his way to nuzzle you whenever his stubble gets out of control due to him not shaving for a few days. He does it because he knows it annoys you and is a guaranteed way to make you laugh and there's nothing more that he loves to hear than your laughter

•him getting you a bunch of Lego sets as a way to keep you entertained and out of trouble. Seeing as you don't have to borrow as much as you used to, you find yourself getting bored quite easily. And in your boredom you end up bugging Edward quite a lot to the point where he bought you multiple Lego kits in hopes of keeping you occupied. and it works not only do you have a fun time building things but you've also discovered that you can customize your home and add new extensions on to it. You having Legos has also led to some very interesting scenarios. has Edward woken up one day only to discover that you have built yourself a castle complete with working drawbridge and armaments yes, yes he has. And the reason he found out that the armaments worked is because when he suggested taking it down (because it was blocking his access to the computer) he got shot in the forehead with a nerf dart.

•scaring the hell out of him with your reflective eyes. (again I am very much a fan of borrowers having slightly animalistic traits) one incident stands out where sometime around 5 o'clock in the morning, Edward, half asleep and in the middle of an important project. had gone to get a coffee refill from the kitchen. only to get the life scared out of him when two glowing eyes prepared up at him from the dark. Quickly flicking on the kitchen light he was met by an equally surprised you who was in the process of getting a midnight snack. Oh well at lest it woke him up.

•having to deal with Edward being a bit of a prick towards you. As much as I love Edward he can be a jerk. he's a narcissist with an ego the size of Texas after all, and while you know he cares about you; his actions say as much. it doesn’t stop his ego from getting in the way and him talking down to you and belittling your intelligence from time to time. Most of the time just you roll your eyes and ignore it you knew what he was like when you first started hanging around him. However, whenever he goes too far you're not afraid to breakout the silent treatment as there is nothing he hates more than to be ignored.

•during Gotham's cold months if you two go out anywhere he will let you ride in his scarf. Its honestly the best place to be as not only does it make a great hiding spot should the need arise. but it also allows you to snuggle up to Edward whenever you desire.

•whenever Edward gets sent off to Arkham he will find a way to get in touch with you. Usually when Edward gets caught your safely tucked away within his secret hideout, patiently waiting for his return when he inevitably breaks out of Arkham. However, every now and then the GCPD will get lucky and raid the hideout he's currently living in with you and when that happens you usually end up having to make a quick escape. During the times that you do get separated you both work tirelessly to let the other one know where you are and how to find you. it will take a bit of coordinating and answering a lot of riddles but eventually you will find each other again.