Capitalism Won’t Let Me Pay For Things W/ Crawdads

i love sending people my totaled car as a reaction image it’s so funny

as funny as “those are his hooves you bitch” I’m mad that it overshadows that lil wayne really did have socks on in a jacuzzi 

can y'all stop just throwing random words together and expecting us to understand it

you had to be there

do NOT google "omega heat"

prayers for the people googling "omega heat" for the first time

the beautiful thing about turning 30 is when you see a stupid post online you dont have to immediately post about it. you can just say 'wait im 30 i dont have to care about this' and go do something else instead. you just cant do that in your 20s

Wile E. Coyote, two milliseconds before he lights a match only to reveal he's surrounded by flammable traps he himself has set and the whole website explodes

It's perfectly valid to not want to be a parent, to never want children in one's personal life. But we should not hate children. Children are vulnerable, this world isn't kind to them, it's not their fault, and they deserve better.

sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

OOPS TOO DEEP

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

the rainbow is a well-known symbol of gay pride that originated in the late 1970s in san francisco, when the gay community promised to never again destroy the earth by flood

the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

the author's barely disguised hatred for capitalism

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

do NOT kill a bug loose in your home. do NOT release it outside. mail it to me P.O. box 453 in LA CA. i teach them circus tricks. if my training doesn’t work i will eat it

good news. the things that used to upset me no longer upset me. bad news. i'm creating an army of bugs to hurt innocent bystanders