The Trapdoor

Inspired by the Try Guys’ Eugene I want to rank the official Disney princesses in my opinion from worst to best! He made a YouTube video ranking them, and since I disagreed with so many of his decisions, I wanted to make my own list. Justice! So, here is my own list of official Disney princesses from least favourite to my favourite. Like Eugene, I will count Elsa, Anna and Moana as official princesses, even though Disney has them separate. 

14. Snow White Snow White, the first Disney princess from 1937 reflects her time’s ideal woman; she’s cheerful, innocent and loves housework. Which is exactly why I dislike her. Her character is built on being cute and virginal, cleaning up the dwarves’ house just because... why does she like cleaning up the filthy home of strangers so much? I don’t know, I just find she lacks personality. She’s simply the embodiment of the “perfect female” of her time, and that irks me more than anything. Blah, she doesn’t have a personality, so she’s my least favourite.

13. Aurora Very much like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty is just a pretty, innocent and virtuous girl. She’s almost an extra in her own movie (I mean, she *is* asleep almost half of the time). I like her design and the fact that she walks around the woods barefooted and is a countryside girl; otherwise she doesn’t have a lot of personality. Her finding her prince is a tad better than Snow White: at least Aurora meets Philip once before he comes along and kisses her while she’s sleeping. 

12. Cinderella CInderella’s supposed to be amazingly kind, patient and understanding, and sure, that she is. To the point of being a mat that everyone is welcome to walk over. I think she tries to change her own life a bit more than Snow White or Aurora, but in the end, Cinderella is still dependent on her prince saving her. Otherwise she’s, again, this perfect, virginal woman of her time at the cost of having a personality of her own. At least she has a dream and cute little mouse sidekicks.

11. Ariel I think this is my first truly controversial pick; Ariel is loved by the masses, and people will surely be appalled by my choice. But to be honest, even though I love mermaids and red-haired princesses as much as the next girl, I find Ariel to be a bit of a... brat. I mean, she sees prince Eric from afar once and decides she wants to be with him. She’s even willing to abandon her family for him. Seriously? Not to mention acting very childishly and making some very stupid and outright dangerous life decisions by signing Ursula’s contract. And it very nearly ends in her complete demise! She put her whole family and people in danger just because she felt she was not like the other girls. I know people love her, and I do too, but I can’t fool myself into thinking she’s very smart or mature. Gotta give her props for 1) having a personality and dreams of her own and 2) being imperfect, which is what earlier princesses lack. 

10. Jasmine Princess Jasmine is painted to be this rebel in Aladdin. But to be honest, I don’t know if she really is. I like her and I understand her, but again, I wish she was a bit more level-headed. Yes, it is charming how out-of-touch she is having lived in the Palace her whole life, and I do admire her will to explore. I also like how she says what she thinks and doesn’t try to sugarcoat things just because she’s a princess. She has a fighting spirit, which I like. I am a bit bothered by the fact that her most effective weapon against Jafar is her sexuality (nnnggghh), which is one of the reasons she’s this low on my list.

9. Tiana I love Tiana; she’s exemplary in her drive and hard work. But I can’t help feeling like... that’s it? I don’t know, I guess I hope she had something more going on for her. Because at the end of the day I find her to be a little boring. Or I guess she does have personality, but I think it could have been brought up in more interesting ways. It could also be that I’ve only seen The Princess and The Frog like twice. But anyway; she’s great but I kinda wanted something more.

8. Pocahontas I *loved* Pocahontas when I was a kid. She was so graceful, but wild (yeah, yikes...). These days I see the aboriginal-glorifying (also known as racist) undertones in her depiction, and can only cringe. Anyway, she really is a wonderful character none the less; she has wanderlust but also enough maturity to reign it in. She’s curious and non-judgemental. She has a close relationship with nature, which is something that resonates with me personally. She’s wise. She also has flaws; overly independent, reckless etc. I always thought she was a lot older than the character is supposed to be. But yeah, the racism and sexualization can only be escaped so far, which is one of the reasons she’s my number 8.

7. Moana Okay so I’ve only seen Moana once (I know, don’t eat me). From what I remember Moana was a great character; driven, imperfect, brave with a big heart. Anything one can hope for from a Disney princess, really. She really is great. But tbh, her movie just didn’t do it for me. Maui was great, but for example the (other) sidekicks were kinda meh. The music was a bit boring too, IMO. I know I’m alone with my opinion, but this is my list so here we are.

6. Elsa I know she’s really a queen and not a princess, but following Eugene I’ll put her as one of the princesses for the sake of ranking. Elsa is amazing and I relate to her a lot. Comparing her hiding her powers to depression really hit me as someone who’s been struggling with depression for more than 10 years. I get her. She’s very, very imperfect, but also very powerful. I’m pretty sure she’s more powerful than any of the Disney princesses, which is cool as heck. I know she was supposed to be the villain of her movie at first, and honestly I kinda love the sass and confidence and the IDGAF attitude she has at the end of her Let It Go number. She’s also responsible and sensible, which are rare characteristics in a Disney princess (queen).

5. Merida Oh, Merida! Bow-and-arrow wielding, horse-riding, apple-stealing princess with a charming accent! I can’t not love her. She has a lot of the same themes that Jasmine does, but I think they were handled better with Merida. And again, I just love these outdoorsy type princesses. Shes’ capable and determined. She also makes mistakes, even if her mistakes were very frustrating watching the movie. People say Brave didn’t have a real plot or conflict and complain about the Mother Bear thing (yes I’m looking at you Keith of Try Guys), but I disagree. I liked that the movie for once focused on the relationship between a princess and her mom. I’d like to be friends with Merida.

4. Anna Anna is just delightful! Helps a lot that her voiceactor is Kristen Bell, whom I adore. But anyway, I really like Anna; she loves her sister more than anything, she’s brave and willing to face the freezing wilderness to bring Elsa back. SHe’s weird and quirky (though to be completely honest the quirkyness is sometmes a bit forced). Just all around a great gal.

3. Mulan These last three are just arbitrarely in some order; I pretty much love all of them equally. Mulan is like the best female character from Disney ever, period. She’s willing to do anything to save her dad and her country. She’s strong and smart and daring but also sweet and understanding and kind. They succeeded in making her a woman character who possesses a lot of masculine traits without losing her heart, and still being very relatable. Also Mulan is cool as hell. She also has the best sidekick, Mushu.

2. Belle I always get the result of being most like Belle from online quizzes. Because yes, I do have brown eyes and hair (naturally), love books and knowledge, and dream of a brighter future in the great wild somewhere. I related to her ever since I was a child; one of my dreams has always been having a library like Beast’s. Her whole movie is amazingly pretty and has the best music. Also Belle’s Finnish voice (which is the one I heard as a child and still know best) is perfect. Yes, all of this comes down to my personal taste, and I’m not sorry. I love how Belle is a strong female character without being a bad-ass fighter. She does her best for her father, she’s independent, she doesn’t let gossip bother her, she stands up to Beast even though she’s scared, she stands up to Gaston, she stays truthful. These days people like to claim she’s suffering from Stockholm Syndrome; to those believing that, please watch Lindsay Ellis’s video on YouTube on the matter. Also, Emma Watson is not my Belle and I try to pretend the whole live action version never happened.

1. Rapunzel Rapunzel is my idol. She’s crafty and independent and joyful and a dreamer. She’s really imperfect and in my opinion most like a real person out of all the princesses. She’s genuine and wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s amazingly brave, witty and kind of a bad-ass. She breaks out of her narcissistic kidnapper’s grasp. Her romance feels real and organic.  I just really think Rapunzel and Tangled as a whole movie are very underrated. Go watch it.

Honorable mentions to non-princesses - Megara from Hercules, one of my favourite films. Meg is great, and rare with her cynicism and world-weary attitude. She’s so cool and I love her. - Kida, who weirdly is the princess of Atlantis but not included in the DIsney princess line? I’ve never understood that. She’s amazing and beautiful and ugh. - other women of Atlantis: The Lost Empire: Helga Sinclair, Audrey Ramirez, love them. It’s seriously such a good, underrated movie - Esmeralda from the Hunchback of Notre Dame, another one of my childhood idols. Rare a Disney woman in that she’s not ashamed of her sexuality, but not dependent on it, either. She kicks ass. - Jane from Tarzan, she’s silly and cute, and so stylish!

Cases in point (so pretty much just a list of my biases): Donghae (SuJu), Yooa (OMG), Luna (f(x)), Sua (DC), Seulgi (RV), Yuju (GF), Taeyang (BB)

Like, I don’t think people know for example that Luna, the main singer and voice of f(x), one of the best singers in SM and first ever winner of King of Masked Singer, was first put on the group as the lead dancer. She’s an amazing dancer.

Luna can also rap well. (As can Donghae and Seulgi, and have you heard Sua’s rap in Good Night!?)

And then there are the multitalent soloists I love: Boa and Rain come to mind. 

The only kinda funny thing is, my ultimate bias group is (yes, still) SNSD and they don’t have a member like that. Their dance and vocal lines are pretty clearly separated. I think Seohyun is the best dancer out of the vocalists and she is my second bias, so I considered listing her, but she’s not really at the same level as the rest of the people I mentioned.

So I just went and kinda fell in love with T.O.P. 

Like, today. 

What is wrong with me? The WORST POSSIBLE time in the history of K-pop to start stanning anyone, is to start stanning him right now. 

I mean I obviously knew Big Bang and liked their songs and thought of them as legends before. But I never really got to know the guys individually or anything. (To be honest, the silly names kind of put me off…) 

And I was just watching, once again, some video about how the guys predicted Seungri’s shitshow a long time ago (yeah, I’ve been hooked to following the scandal ever since it broke out in January). Something about Top’s way of talking about his concerns on Seungri just made me notice him in a different way. He sounded very wise and thoughtful. Also, I never realized how lovely his speaking voice is! And yes, his handsome face.

I knew of his marijuana scandal and that he had been suicidal and possibly had an eating disorder and that he’s in the military right now and all that… (hence the worst time ever to get into him...) but I couldn’t help it. Something just clicked in me.