virtual rambles

Apparently Ethiopian Baboons are starting to domesticate wolves, which is giving scientists new insights about what it might have been like when early humans did that. That’s cool pretty cool!

“not quite as cool as we thought!” scream scientists, as baboons riding wolves come pouring out of the forest

I feel called out.

if you roll off the bottom of your bed at just the right angle you can clip through the floor straight into the shower saving precious time

Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.— James 5:1-6

At first I thought this was an angry Tumblr post but then it turned out to be the Literal Bible and it got 1000x better

minecraft music… has a sadness to it… this cannot be denied

minecraft music feels like knowing you can’t go home because it’s not there anymore

“mood” is basically the equivalent of “amen”

and now I am picturing an entire congregation solemnly intoning “big mood”

What is the heterosexual explanation for this???

None they’re gay

if you’re american and coming to australia, I’m gonna go ahead and say that you should be 100 percent way more worried about being king hit by a dude named “dane” in a bintang singlet than any fucking spiders that exist here

what does this say in english

“Good sir, if you are a resident of the United States of America and coming to visit the sunny land of Australia, allow me to inform you that you should be rather more concerned about being sucker punched by a gentleman named ‘Dane’ who is likely to be seen wearing a wifebeater with a beer company logo on it than by any of the dangerous spiders that exist on this lovely continent”.

ok so what does it say in american

“You’re more likely to get sucker punched/cold-cocked by an asshole than you are to be bitten by a spider”.

thank you

Well rattle my spoons, that don’t make a lick of sense. Wot in tarnation does this hootenanny say?

“If ya mosey on by Australia, you best be fixin’ to get to some fisticuffs more'n checkin fer spiders.”

This is a Rosetta Stone for a single language

STOP TELLING ME I LOOK LIKE THIS DOG