hysterical and useless @virgoiscariot - Tumblr Blog

about me: plain jane, 26, USA. hospice nurse. lesbian. don’t be weird in my inbox.

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(updated 4/23/26)

#mypost #face #houseposting #japh #janebwe #baby #tunes #Gilbert #venomposting #hockeyposting #nurse jane #ref #slumlord mahmoud #cavyposting #art #sopranoposting

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canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

#prev same burgers #ive had one burger in my life and by all accounts it was a ‘good one’#still tasted like shit #also mayo sour cream and cream cheese

eclecticopposition

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

carby

Hey whoa hi. Hello. I am looking directly into your ear canal. What do you mean you drank a tube of virus concentrate.

whyamiherewhosummonedme

So, I was working in a lab, right? My job in the lab was preparing a pure, concentrated enough sample of virus. This is tricky since, y'know, viruses require hosts to replicate, but you then need to get the host cells (and the pieces of the host cells that died!) out of the sample while still keeping the viruses. Once I'd finished and the samples had been sent to the database for analysis as well as a second one sent to be frozen for future reference, there was still some left over that needed to be disposed of.

I, knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, waited carefully for the lab director to be deep in conversation with someone else on the other side of the laboratory. And then I took my chance.

Test tubes, as it turns out, are really bad as shot glasses. Their shape turns any liquid inside into a stream, so you really can't knock it back quickly - it takes a couple seconds. Additionally, the best way I can describe the taste of virus concentrate was "sterile rot". A very unique kind of bad! Made worse by the test tube's inefficiency as a shot glass.

(by the way we were studying bacteriophages, not animal viruses. these viruses are too specialized on attacking prokaryotes to even recognize our cells as targets at all, according to studies.)

(but also like. if the viruses managed to successfully switch hosts and killed me with a violent infection, itd still be worth it.)

(for science.)

violetthunderstorm

You have a fitting blog title

nico-the-overlord

this post is getting 50k easy

marlinspirkhall

#liquid albuterol

breakfast was oat bran with honey and a protein shake….. health

#mypost

yayowestcoast

#sopranoposting

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gracegeorge

#lmao chrissy #sopranoposting

johnnycrass

sorry i dont find #joy in #homemaking or the #hearth or any shit like that i find joy in being paid and spending 126$ at a restaurant and thee liquor store

gabriellelestat

it’s womenmaxxing time. 2026 is the year of women. women only 24/7. we need to talk about women more than ever. it’s women time

fungalfaggot

self-care phrases to boost your confidence

this shit ain't nothin to me man

I'll fucking kill you

.

thatcutelittleneko

lgbtqgmh

[Image is of a New Hope Church sign that reads, ‘God says homosexuality is in’ and two men in the foreground holding the S from the sign]

melorasmushrooms

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

quasi-normalcy

how does this have under 10,000 notes in spite of my having seen it regularly for the entire time I’ve been on here?

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lamignonette

yo-its-matt

anyway the “nice cock jason” tiktok is playing in my head at all times on repeat indefinitely

yo-its-matt

nice cock jason Thursday

evilvillain123456789

>Hit pedestrian

>Check engine light turns back off

godlessondheimite

“ice water makes you sick” “ice water gives you stomach cramps” i’m sorry if i have a hardy and oxlike american constitution but unless you have underlying health issues, the only water temperature that should cause adverse health effects is if you chug a gallon of boiling hot water that has also been laced with nefarious chemicals

theclockwitch

AH, this person has never been on a forced 10k run in 90 degree heat 90 % humidity and then forced to slam a liter of ice water.

You will cramp. You will throw up. It will not rehydrate you at all. The medic will get to practice his large bore IVs.

godlessondheimite

Yeah, most people haven’t and never will so this won’t actually happen to me.

mychemicalraymance

Being a woman with really very visibly hairy legs is honestly funny as fuck if you go outside in shorts people on the street look at you like Rowley

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sheet--metal--girl

i would only get my tits out for. well. pretty much any girl who asked niceys

despazito

we are the daughters of parents who should not have had kids

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