original donuts donut steel

yesterday? blorbo stuff. today? blorbo stuff. tomorrow? you'll never guess

unleashing the skeleton army on an unsuspecting populace?

yes god finally one of you gets it

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

Item: Pigeon Shoes; a cheaper version of Flying Shoes that occasionally get distracted by bread crumbs

Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"

hey sorry for being so snappish earlier i was in a bad mood. and im still in a bad mood so can you fuck off

I have one of these and I keep it in my IT toolkit because that teeny little screwdriver is the right side for laptop casings, but because it lives inside a large object it’s harder to misplace than a standard tiny screwdriver. Also because the look on a client’s face when you bring out a brass hammer to fix their laptop is absolutely wild.

Its good

(flirting) i could be your problem

coffee mug for people who are doomed that says Don't Talk To Me Until It's Too Late

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

You can tell a lot about a person by entering their mind palace and encountering their greatest fears and darkest hopes in a labyrinth reflective of their subconscious thoughts.

lethargic green alien girl halfheartedly blasting you with her hot pink raygun but she clearly isnt even pretending to aim. and instead of disintegrating into ash everything it hits turns into piles of glitter

Keep salting the wound I'm close

(emerges 3 hours later covered in blood) i figured out what emotion i was feeling