i'll be honest. If you can't deal with someone wording things badly then you aren't going to be an ally to autistic people or indeed anyone with a developmental disability, intellectual disability, or disability that impacts language.
also you are never going to be safe for people for whom english is their second language. if someone clarifies their meaning and apologises and you can't accept that over the original wording then don't bother pretending to be autism friendly.
and like part of my autism is that i become convinced that the way i interpret words is the way that they're meant. my autism is disabling to my communication abilities. i have poor emotional regulation, i jump to conclusions. a lot of my reactions are informed by prior negative experiences. i can and probably have been overly defensive in the past.
and i've been misinterpreted so much and had my words picked over and mocked for saying the wrong things and mocked for being unable to say anything at all and it always feels devastating. it's ironic that the same disability that has me treated poorly would have me react poorly to a similar situation, but that's just how it is.
so i'm not saying you can perfectly manage all your reactions just by trying hard enough. especially considering how much disability affects these things. but i do think if you are completely unwilling to give autistic and other DD/ID people leeway for how they word things or understand that they have a disability that impacts their communication and give us grace then you aren't a disability advocate.
