PRETTY & NASTY

my life goal, you ask? become captain of a fully functional old-timey pirate ship and sail it after disney cruises at an ominous distance

i project stolen versions of their movies onto my ship’s sails

if i could swing a really big sword it wouldnt even matter if anyone loved me or not

do you ever just realise you’re almost an adult and you have no money 

do you ever just realise you’re already an adult and you have no money

do you ever just realise you’ve been an adult for like, a while, and you still have no money

I just want everyone to know my wife has been laughing at this post for like three full minutes, she’s literally in tears and in three years together I’ve never seen her laugh this hard????

my wife now