It’s A Funny World, Hobbes.

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

hey sorry I snapped at you, I've just had a really hard day and [remembers focusing on myself is selfish] maybe it's your fault for provoking me?

people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now

The older this post gets the funnier it becomes

My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.

that’s how fucked up our world is now

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

Oh easy mistake. Yearning actually rises from the floor and longing hangs from the ceiling

pass the blunt bro its my turn on joint custody

its 10 AM on a weekday .

Isn't there an industrial boiler you're supposed to be maintaining

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

Eartha Kitt's career is just so iconic because there's no way you don't know her even if you don't know you know her. You like Christmas music ok well she's Santa Baby. You like Disney animated movie ok well she's Yzma. You like Disney Channel original movie ok well she's Madame Zeroni. You like comic book ok well she is Cat Woman. She won.

You like making the racist wife of a war mongering president cry on national television? She did that

You like laughing at the very idea of needing a man? She's your role model.

we need to start legally protecting these like make this kind of bathroom part of the national park system

"the early 2010s were better" no they weren't. "hey soul sister" was on the radio.

stereo. The way you move ain’t fair you know.

Reblog this and tell me what was your biggest crying over a piece of fiction. You can be vague if you don't want to spoil.

the anniversary of library paste man’s death is in four days.

One hundred and ten years ago to the day. Amazing. Incredible.

RIP😔🙏📚🍯