So tired. Can't funktion.

(spoilers for end of AQ below)

Neither of them have any idea how to use the internet like normal people. There is 0 social media presence.

Hua Cheng is like the kinda guy that has the most high fashion up to date looks. He is constantly looks maxing but he has no social media. You will see him staring very seriously at his phone but he is either trying to decipher Xie Lians texts or playing games waiting for Xie Lian to come meet him.

Xie Lian has a phone but it is a blockia that still works so he doesn’t need a new one. This is why his texts are a nightmare. His fashion sense is just what ever he feels like that day so he is either in lounge wear or like perfect traditional wear, people think he’s a cosplayer but he truly just doesn’t throw things away if they are still good.

He’s tumblr famous not because he runs a blog but because he’s a weird cryptid that people make posts about like “insanely beautiful man just made my day so much better by talking to me while waiting on the bus and having a meltdown, he then realised that his bus had left two stops ago and ran it down. He actually caught up. Insane experience.” Like these posts have 10k notes all talking about the insane adventures of this insanely kind man who is always super helpful and then something batshit happens.

Happy birthday, Tim! This piece of art took around 6 hours, and is fanart (though I guess it's official art) for my own fic!

Speaking of...

Enjoy! I really love this one (may be my favourite one ever) so please give it a read :DD The art makes a bit more sense after reading too.

Title: he was right (i'll never be satisfied)

Rating: T

Wordcount: 8,104

Pairing: Gen

Summary:

He could clean every artefact, wear every coat, or speak every line, but she wouldn’t be there with him. He had to find her coats in her hamper, had to watch interviews and childhood videos to burn his father’s laugh into his memory. Dana was there, Dana helped, but Dana wasn’t her. All he could do was grow his hair out and look in the mirror, letting the public call him ‘Janet?’ so that he could think that she was standing behind him.

The owl was gone, he realised. He felt damp.

…Oh, those were tears falling down his cheeks.

…

Or: Tim Drake; adopted son of Bruce Wayne, half-Korean, a master of galas, and a boy who just misses his parents.

Tim, sighing: no, i’m not allowed to have friends over when Bruce has been drinking alcohol, and he had a couple glasses of wine with brunch.

Damian, confused: since when is that a rule?

Tim: he enforced it last month, after he got drunk with Dick and Kon came round.

Damian: why… what happened?

Tim: he saw Kon walk onto the property without knocking, you know, like usual, and then he burst into tears and screamed ‘EVERYBODY TELLS ME I’M NOT GOOD AT HAVING KIDS BUT EVERYBODY KEEPS GIVING ME MORE KIDS!’

Damian: …geez.

Kindness could not erase Luo Binghe’s abuse, but it changed the story into a kinder one.

Kindness did not stop Wei Wuxian’s death, but it did save a-Yuan.

Kindness did not undo Xie Lian’s suffering, but it renewed his sincerity to help others.

Kindness did not change the entire world, but it helped create a softer future.

Jason: -eing completely serious here, like not joking,

Damian, faint from a distance: i'm well fucking aware i'm also your child, Hood- this is not a good enough reason to interrupt my mission!

Jason: no you- YOU AREN'T UNDERSTANDING ME. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE JOKE OF ME RAISING YOU IN THE LEAGUE, I'M TALKING GENUINE BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION- we need to get you over here so we can run blood tests, oh my days,

Tim: i swear to god if you don't hang up the phone and just JOIN. THE COM LINE.

Damian, faint from a distance: I AM TRYING TO- for hells sake, just let me- let me finish hacking this computer and i'll join. give me a minute.

*faint beep*

Jason, gobsmacked: he hung up on me- we're related, and he hung up on me-!

Tim, tired: just give him a minute Jay. can you get in contact with Talia or Ra's?

Jason: Ra's isn't picking up, and i wanna do a DNA test before i get anybody else involved anyway; this might be a mistake or something.

Tim: *hums*

*long, awkward stretch of silence*

Tim: *clears throat*

*more awkward silence*

*faint tapping of feet*

Tim: watcha- uh, watcha thinkin' about?

Jason: *a beat* just... *genuine* i was eatin' gum once, yeah? and the kid asked for a piece. and i didn't have any left, but he didn't believe me.

Tim: ...uh-huh.

Jason: and so i jokingly was like 'ok fine, you want some gum then you can have some!' and i took the piece out of my mouth and offered it to him. but i guess he took it as a challenge because he actually took it and started chewing on it. and i'm just wondering... could that have done it? if my DNA was on the gum, or... *trails off*

Tim: *judgemental silence*

Tim: yeah you can tell you never graduated high school.

Jason, enraged: ay- AY-

*connecting ping*

Damian: ok, what's wrong?

Jason: -FINALLY. Damian, seriously, i know you think i was doing a bit, but-

Damian: i didn't think it was a bit. we're biologically related; i am partly your child. did you not know this?

*silence*

Tim: what.

Jason: WHAT.

Damian: *very confused* Hood, you were there, why are you acting like you don't know this?

Jason: I WAS THERE WHEN WHAT-?!

Tim: *gasp of realisation* oh my god, you did fuck Talia,

Jason: I DIDN'T-??

Tim: -you just blocked it out because it was a bad memory! you- *voice dropping slightly* i fuckin' knew you'd been touched before, you so give off those vibes, i knew-

Jason: FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME I WAS NOT TOUCHED AS A CHILD.

Damian: yes, Red, don't be gross. Mother did not touch him.

Jason: HOW DO I GIVE OFF THE VIBES OF SOMEBODY WHO-

Tim: -wait so are you not Bruce's then?

Jason: *enraged scream of frustration*

Damian: no, i am. my biology i think has about... six different people that could technically test positive for parental connections. but i think only Mother, Father, and Akhi's DNA is strong enough to actually show up on a blood test. as far as i'm aware, anyway.

*a beat*

Tim: fucking what?

Jason: what the FUCK, DAMIAN? HOW DO I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS?!

Damian, still confused: i genuinely don't know?? you were the one that did most of it?? i mean you were pretty hopped up on pain meds but still,

Jason: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Damian, incredulous: what are you talking about?! we've literally had whole conversations with the others about this- there was a whole league days bit on it! one of the lies YOU WROTE was that i was genetically related to another member of the bats! i thought the joke you were doing was that the member was Duke because you knew in reality it was you?!

Jason: NO?! I WAS JUST MAKING WILD SHIT UP?!!?

Damian, supremely exasperated: ok but you were there. you remember that i was used in a lot of Grandfather's experiments as a child, correct? you were too, we both spent a lot of time in the labs,

Jason: well yeah but-

Damian, cutting him off: AND YOU REMEMBER- you remember that to make me a better specimen and heir he would edit my DNA to give me more potential, and you remember he also did a lot of tests with your DNA,

Jason, baffled: right, but he didn't-

Damian, pointedly: and you remember how after a lot of those tests we would share a medical suite?

Jason: ok but i don't remember- *abrupt pause*

*silence*

Jason, faint: oh.... my god....

Damian, unimpressed: idiot.

Tim: the fuck is happening right now- he looks like he's been stabbed in the dick.

Jason, still faint: ...and it was before i figured out how to regulate the defence mechanisms the pit gave me,

Damian: *still unimpressed* uh-huh,

Jason: -every time i got the slightest bit injured i would just go full pit-mad and black out for hours,

Damian: uh-huh,

Jason: -so every time Ra's wanted to use me for research he had to put me on the strongest medication he could get his hands on,

Damian, dry: yup.

Jason: Damian- Damian i used to get so high,

Damian: yeah i was there.

Jason: and he put my DNA... in you?

Damian: *snort* there's definitely way better ways to word it, but yes. the majority of my maternal and paternal biological bonds do go straight back to Mother and Father, but you also share a significant chunk of paternal DNA with me- i cannot believe you fucking forgot about this.

Jason: DAMIAN I WAS SO HIGH.

Damian: yeah, well you were aware enough to teach me how to play blackjack when we shared a hospital room.

Tim: -yeah, so, i have a lot of questions; number one you fucking said six potential parents, and i want more information on that,

Jason, abruptly: -OH MY GOD THE BLACKJACK,

Tim: yeah, Jay, there are more important things right now than-

Damian: no, Red, he's-

Jason: NO THE BLACKJACK IS WHY THERE'S MORE PARENTS,

Damian: -yeah he's answering you, that's- the blackjack was relevant to that.

*a beat*

Tim: fucking how.

Jason: i- holy shit. dude i was so high.

Tim: yeah so you keep fucking saying-

Jason: NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND- Tim, Tim. i was so out of it that i was getting the other scientists and servants to join the blackjack games i was playing with Damian post-experiment.

Tim: ...ok?

Jason: and i- *slightly muffled* oh my god i'm a horrible person,

Damian: no, don't worry, you asked me like twenty times beforehand if i was ok with it; i was just so bored i thought it was funny and said go ahead.

Jason: I WAS- *abrupt wheeze*

Tim: if you tell me how fucking high you were again-

Jason, still laughing wetly: NO- i was- Tim we would get left alone unsupervised in those labs for so long- like i'm fairly sure Ra's was just fucking forgetting about us,

Damian: oh- a hundred percent he was forgetting about us.

Jason: -yeah, and so when the drugs wore off enough to leave me capable of getting up and just a little loopy, i used to- oh my god it's all coming back to me,

Damian: -he would go and look through all of Grandfather's notes and fuck around with all the machines and stuff that were being used on us, during. there was really nothing else to do until he found the deck of cards.

Tim: right...?

Jason: ok so- so i was still significantly high and coming down from these meds, right? and i was also very bored, and i'd just sort of self taught myself on how to fuse people's DNA together via Ra's notes, right?

*a beat*

Tim: ...there's no way this is going where i think it is. please tell me i'm wrong.

Jason: i- *bursts out laughing*

Damian: he was auctioning me off like an antique vase.

Jason: *loses his shit*

Damian: in his defence he had my consent to do so, and unlike him i was not high.

Jason: *still laughing* oh my- holy- i was calling all the servants within the vicinity and yelling like- *wheeze* 'if you beat us at blackjack, you too can be a biological parent to one of the most important people in this compound! think of the special privileges!'

Damian: yeah they literally- being biologically related to me gave them nothing, by the way.

Jason: *audibly horrified with himself but still laughing* i did it like three different times-!

Damian: -to be fair i think you reversed one of them after you found out they were genetically predisposed for heart disease. and also you were still majorly impaired mentally so you didn't really fuse me very well. that's why none of them really show up on any tests.

Tim, speechless: oh. my god.

Damian: he was out in the hall outside our room yelling at the passing cleaners like somebody trying to sell fruit at a market.

Jason: *actively losing it*

Tim: wait so was it- did he fuse himself with anybody else or just you?!

Damian, pointedly: no as it turns out-

Jason: *wheezes*

Damian: -he was high enough to fuck with my DNA but not high enough to want to fuck with his own.

Jason, wetly: i can't believe i forgot about this... Damian, i'm half your biological father,

Damian: yes, Hood, i'm well aware- actually. if you didn't remember, then does Father know?

Tim: no, literally nobody knows. B almost figured it out himself at one point but because Jason obviously didn't think it was true, he brushed it off and convinced B he was being an idiot.

Jason, muffled again: oh my goooooddddddd,

Tim: Jason, Jason you- *slight snort* Jason you realise this makes you a co-dad with Bruce Wayne?

*silence*

Jason, decisively: no.

Tim: *laughs* no?

Jason: nope. not happening. we're never telling him. ever.

Tim: why not?

Jason: why n- are you taking the piss?! my relationship with that man is already so fucking undeniably odd- i am not adding co-parenting dynamics to that fucking list-!

Tim: *wheeze* holy- this situation is so fucked-!

Damian: maybe for you guys, this has been my normal for years. can i go now? i'm still working.

Jason: yeah- hold on. if you've always known that i was your half-biological-father, why don't you call me dad?

Tim: *starts cackling*

Damian, evenly: because i jokingly called you 'baba' once while you were under anaesthesia and you crawled into my medical cot and started crying about how you were too young and hated going to parent-teacher nights and weren't sure if you'd be able to 'do right by me' because you couldn't remember how to sign up for children's health insurance.

*silence*

Damian: -so i just switched to Akhi for your mental health's sake.

Tim: *cackles again*

Jason: ok that's actually fair.

Tim: *still laughing* dude are you- are you ok? you've gone so white,

Jason, faint: i gave my son weed when he was thirteen...

issue is Dick fully thinks they're reinforced, which is why he was never afraid of breaking them while swinging as a kid, and as such he doesn't realise that it will be any different trying to swing on them as a fully grown, ripped to shit adult man. he decides to show the younger siblings how to have fun in the manor years later and Damian, Duke and Tim get front row seats to the sight of Dick launching himself off the banister, grabbing a chandelier with both hands, instantly snapping it out of the ceiling, and fracturing his spine in the fall.

Jason rocks up to the cave and spots the three standing silently in front of the medical bed Dick has been sedated on after the accident.

"...What happened here then?"

"Dick's a fatass."

⚠️ blood. alcohol. spoilers.