
if i look back, i am lost

JBB: An Artblog!
Misplaced Lens Cap

★
Sade Olutola

Product Placement
art blog(derogatory)

#extradirty

shark vs the universe
One Nice Bug Per Day
tumblr dot com
Cosimo Galluzzi
we're not kids anymore.
cherry valley forever
i don't do bad sauce passes
ojovivo
Jules of Nature

blake kathryn
Not today Justin
Stranger Things
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@vigilantobserver

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Modern hualian but like made it to modern times immortal hualian are so fun to me.
Neither of them have any idea how to use the internet like normal people. There is 0 social media presence.
Hua Cheng is like the kinda guy that has the most high fashion up to date looks. He is constantly looks maxing but he has no social media. You will see him staring very seriously at his phone but he is either trying to decipher Xie Lians texts or playing games waiting for Xie Lian to come meet him.
Xie Lian has a phone but it is a blockia that still works so he doesn’t need a new one. This is why his texts are a nightmare. His fashion sense is just what ever he feels like that day so he is either in lounge wear or like perfect traditional wear, people think he’s a cosplayer but he truly just doesn’t throw things away if they are still good.
He’s tumblr famous not because he runs a blog but because he’s a weird cryptid that people make posts about like “insanely beautiful man just made my day so much better by talking to me while waiting on the bus and having a meltdown, he then realised that his bus had left two stops ago and ran it down. He actually caught up. Insane experience.” Like these posts have 10k notes all talking about the insane adventures of this insanely kind man who is always super helpful and then something batshit happens.
There’s three fashion accounts on instagram all ran by people who stalk Hua Cheng on the street. People on tumblr are freaking out that Cryptid Gege has a fashion cryptid boyfriend. It’s a mess.
desperately want to draw want nothing less than to be drawing
this is how many pillows I want
Where does the you go. In this scenario
? what do u mean
Ah another fan of the classic children's roleplay, "neolithic burial"
yeah u get it
pride month!!!
Is that a miette?
Pride for you! Pride for a thousand years!!
you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!
Happy birthday, Tim! This piece of art took around 6 hours, and is fanart (though I guess it's official art) for my own fic!
Speaking of...
Enjoy! I really love this one (may be my favourite one ever) so please give it a read :DD The art makes a bit more sense after reading too.
Title: he was right (i'll never be satisfied)
Rating: T
Wordcount: 8,104
Pairing: Gen
Summary:
He could clean every artefact, wear every coat, or speak every line, but she wouldn’t be there with him. He had to find her coats in her hamper, had to watch interviews and childhood videos to burn his father’s laugh into his memory. Dana was there, Dana helped, but Dana wasn’t her. All he could do was grow his hair out and look in the mirror, letting the public call him ‘Janet?’ so that he could think that she was standing behind him.
The owl was gone, he realised. He felt damp.
…Oh, those were tears falling down his cheeks.
…
Or: Tim Drake; adopted son of Bruce Wayne, half-Korean, a master of galas, and a boy who just misses his parents.
Or Or: A character study of my favourite character for his birthday (ft. art)

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Damian: is the clone coming to dinner later then?
Tim, sighing: no, i’m not allowed to have friends over when Bruce has been drinking alcohol, and he had a couple glasses of wine with brunch.
Damian, confused: since when is that a rule?
Tim: he enforced it last month, after he got drunk with Dick and Kon came round.
Damian: why… what happened?
Tim: he saw Kon walk onto the property without knocking, you know, like usual, and then he burst into tears and screamed ‘EVERYBODY TELLS ME I’M NOT GOOD AT HAVING KIDS BUT EVERYBODY KEEPS GIVING ME MORE KIDS!’
Damian: …geez.
Tim: yeah. Jason laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
AU where Tim goes to the League of Assassins as part of his Robin training, but thus happens at the same at as when Jason and Damian are there, so it just becomes the Spider-man point at each other meme with Jason’s asking “Aren’t you my neighbor???” and Tim’s asking “Aren’t you dead???”
Meanwhile Damian’s like two and doesn’t give a fuck
This makes me think of @papayafromtv
It's dangerous to go alone, take these
The way Hua Cheng says "it's not your fault" and "you, not the state of you" and "there's no banquet that doesn't come to an end" and that all of these Xie Lian said first. It truly showcases just how highly Hua Cheng thinks of Xie Lian, that so often he decides the best way to support Xie Lian is by repeating Xie Lian's own words back to him, like he can't think of anything better or more fitting in these moments. And every time he does it he's saying, "I listen when you talk, I hear what you say, and I think you're right" to a man who has been ignored and maligned and alone for almost all his life. It's one of the sweetest possible things Hua Cheng could do.
I think part of the reason I’m so obsessed with MXTX’s works is the way that each story seems to hold you gently as say “Your kindness mattered. It didn’t alleviate the suffering, it did not undo the pain. But your kindness mattered.”
Kindness could not erase Luo Binghe’s abuse, but it changed the story into a kinder one.
Kindness did not stop Wei Wuxian’s death, but it did save a-Yuan.
Kindness did not undo Xie Lian’s suffering, but it renewed his sincerity to help others.
Kindness did not change the entire world, but it helped create a softer future.
Its such a nice message, that maybe kindness will not protect you, maybe you don’t see the outcome of it, but you should still try to be kind, and I love that honestly.

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contrary to popular belief not everyone has an innate sense of internal gender or care to have one or seek a name for it, some people go their whole lives without questioning their occupation in one of two gender roles, but for some people, if pressed, they don’t feel that internal sense of ‘i am a woman’ or ‘i am a man’, and in that case i feel the switch over to transgender vs cisgender relies on active identification of a gender other than the one they were assigned. if someone’s like ‘idk dude I just work here’ then that’s valid
#i would describe my gender as not exactly ‘idk dude i just work here’ #more like…..when someone assumes you work somewhere that you don’t #but you know how to help them so you do it anyway #my gender is wearing a red shirt at a target
These are the best tags
A portion of people in the notes are like ‘but that makes you trans. That’s called being agender’ and another portion of people are going ‘this is how the majority of cis ppl feel and it’s NOT agender’ and personally I feel like both of them are missing the point here. Yes a lot of people identify as agender because of this feeling. Yes a lot of people with this same feeling still identify as cis. These are not mutually exclusive experiences and it doesn’t mean the agender people are secretly cis or the cis people are secretly agender. It just means they have very similar experiences of gender that they choose to conceptualize and label differently, and neither of them are mistaken or wrong to do so.
conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 61 (masterpost here) (part 2 to 60)
Jason: -eing completely serious here, like not joking,
Damian, faint from a distance: i'm well fucking aware i'm also your child, Hood- this is not a good enough reason to interrupt my mission!
Jason: no you- YOU AREN'T UNDERSTANDING ME. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE JOKE OF ME RAISING YOU IN THE LEAGUE, I'M TALKING GENUINE BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION- we need to get you over here so we can run blood tests, oh my days,
Tim: i swear to god if you don't hang up the phone and just JOIN. THE COM LINE.
Damian, faint from a distance: I AM TRYING TO- for hells sake, just let me- let me finish hacking this computer and i'll join. give me a minute.
*faint beep*
Jason, gobsmacked: he hung up on me- we're related, and he hung up on me-!
Tim, tired: just give him a minute Jay. can you get in contact with Talia or Ra's?
Jason: Ra's isn't picking up, and i wanna do a DNA test before i get anybody else involved anyway; this might be a mistake or something.
Tim: *hums*
*long, awkward stretch of silence*
Tim: *clears throat*
*more awkward silence*
*faint tapping of feet*
Tim: watcha- uh, watcha thinkin' about?
Jason: *a beat* just... *genuine* i was eatin' gum once, yeah? and the kid asked for a piece. and i didn't have any left, but he didn't believe me.
Tim: ...uh-huh.
Jason: and so i jokingly was like 'ok fine, you want some gum then you can have some!' and i took the piece out of my mouth and offered it to him. but i guess he took it as a challenge because he actually took it and started chewing on it. and i'm just wondering... could that have done it? if my DNA was on the gum, or... *trails off*
Tim: *judgemental silence*
Tim: yeah you can tell you never graduated high school.
Jason, enraged: ay- AY-
*connecting ping*
Damian: ok, what's wrong?
Jason: -FINALLY. Damian, seriously, i know you think i was doing a bit, but-
Damian: i didn't think it was a bit. we're biologically related; i am partly your child. did you not know this?
*silence*
Tim: what.
Jason: WHAT.
Damian: *very confused* Hood, you were there, why are you acting like you don't know this?
Jason: I WAS THERE WHEN WHAT-?!
Tim: *gasp of realisation* oh my god, you did fuck Talia,
Jason: I DIDN'T-??
Tim: -you just blocked it out because it was a bad memory! you- *voice dropping slightly* i fuckin' knew you'd been touched before, you so give off those vibes, i knew-
Jason: FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME I WAS NOT TOUCHED AS A CHILD.
Damian: yes, Red, don't be gross. Mother did not touch him.
Jason: HOW DO I GIVE OFF THE VIBES OF SOMEBODY WHO-
Tim: -wait so are you not Bruce's then?
Jason: *enraged scream of frustration*
Damian: no, i am. my biology i think has about... six different people that could technically test positive for parental connections. but i think only Mother, Father, and Akhi's DNA is strong enough to actually show up on a blood test. as far as i'm aware, anyway.
*a beat*
Tim: fucking what?
Jason: what the FUCK, DAMIAN? HOW DO I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS?!
Damian, still confused: i genuinely don't know?? you were the one that did most of it?? i mean you were pretty hopped up on pain meds but still,
Jason: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Damian, incredulous: what are you talking about?! we've literally had whole conversations with the others about this- there was a whole league days bit on it! one of the lies YOU WROTE was that i was genetically related to another member of the bats! i thought the joke you were doing was that the member was Duke because you knew in reality it was you?!
Jason: NO?! I WAS JUST MAKING WILD SHIT UP?!!?
Damian, supremely exasperated: ok but you were there. you remember that i was used in a lot of Grandfather's experiments as a child, correct? you were too, we both spent a lot of time in the labs,
Jason: well yeah but-
Damian, cutting him off: AND YOU REMEMBER- you remember that to make me a better specimen and heir he would edit my DNA to give me more potential, and you remember he also did a lot of tests with your DNA,
Jason, baffled: right, but he didn't-
Damian, pointedly: and you remember how after a lot of those tests we would share a medical suite?
Jason: ok but i don't remember- *abrupt pause*
*silence*
Jason, faint: oh.... my god....
Damian, unimpressed: idiot.
Tim: the fuck is happening right now- he looks like he's been stabbed in the dick.
Jason, still faint: ...and it was before i figured out how to regulate the defence mechanisms the pit gave me,
Damian: *still unimpressed* uh-huh,
Jason: -every time i got the slightest bit injured i would just go full pit-mad and black out for hours,
Damian: uh-huh,
Jason: -so every time Ra's wanted to use me for research he had to put me on the strongest medication he could get his hands on,
Damian, dry: yup.
Jason: Damian- Damian i used to get so high,
Damian: yeah i was there.
Jason: and he put my DNA... in you?
Damian: *snort* there's definitely way better ways to word it, but yes. the majority of my maternal and paternal biological bonds do go straight back to Mother and Father, but you also share a significant chunk of paternal DNA with me- i cannot believe you fucking forgot about this.
Jason: DAMIAN I WAS SO HIGH.
Damian: yeah, well you were aware enough to teach me how to play blackjack when we shared a hospital room.
Tim: -yeah, so, i have a lot of questions; number one you fucking said six potential parents, and i want more information on that,
Jason, abruptly: -OH MY GOD THE BLACKJACK,
Tim: yeah, Jay, there are more important things right now than-
Damian: no, Red, he's-
Jason: NO THE BLACKJACK IS WHY THERE'S MORE PARENTS,
Damian: -yeah he's answering you, that's- the blackjack was relevant to that.
*a beat*
Tim: fucking how.
Jason: i- holy shit. dude i was so high.
Tim: yeah so you keep fucking saying-
Jason: NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND- Tim, Tim. i was so out of it that i was getting the other scientists and servants to join the blackjack games i was playing with Damian post-experiment.
Tim: ...ok?
Jason: and i- *slightly muffled* oh my god i'm a horrible person,
Damian: no, don't worry, you asked me like twenty times beforehand if i was ok with it; i was just so bored i thought it was funny and said go ahead.
Jason: I WAS- *abrupt wheeze*
Tim: if you tell me how fucking high you were again-
Jason, still laughing wetly: NO- i was- Tim we would get left alone unsupervised in those labs for so long- like i'm fairly sure Ra's was just fucking forgetting about us,
Damian: oh- a hundred percent he was forgetting about us.
Jason: -yeah, and so when the drugs wore off enough to leave me capable of getting up and just a little loopy, i used to- oh my god it's all coming back to me,
Damian: -he would go and look through all of Grandfather's notes and fuck around with all the machines and stuff that were being used on us, during. there was really nothing else to do until he found the deck of cards.
Tim: right...?
Jason: ok so- so i was still significantly high and coming down from these meds, right? and i was also very bored, and i'd just sort of self taught myself on how to fuse people's DNA together via Ra's notes, right?
*a beat*
Tim: ...there's no way this is going where i think it is. please tell me i'm wrong.
Jason: i- *bursts out laughing*
Damian: he was auctioning me off like an antique vase.
Jason: *loses his shit*
Damian: in his defence he had my consent to do so, and unlike him i was not high.
Jason: *still laughing* oh my- holy- i was calling all the servants within the vicinity and yelling like- *wheeze* 'if you beat us at blackjack, you too can be a biological parent to one of the most important people in this compound! think of the special privileges!'
Damian: yeah they literally- being biologically related to me gave them nothing, by the way.
Jason: *audibly horrified with himself but still laughing* i did it like three different times-!
Damian: -to be fair i think you reversed one of them after you found out they were genetically predisposed for heart disease. and also you were still majorly impaired mentally so you didn't really fuse me very well. that's why none of them really show up on any tests.
Tim, speechless: oh. my god.
Damian: he was out in the hall outside our room yelling at the passing cleaners like somebody trying to sell fruit at a market.
Jason: *actively losing it*
Tim: wait so was it- did he fuse himself with anybody else or just you?!
Damian, pointedly: no as it turns out-
Jason: *wheezes*
Damian: -he was high enough to fuck with my DNA but not high enough to want to fuck with his own.
Jason, wetly: i can't believe i forgot about this... Damian, i'm half your biological father,
Damian: yes, Hood, i'm well aware- actually. if you didn't remember, then does Father know?
Tim: no, literally nobody knows. B almost figured it out himself at one point but because Jason obviously didn't think it was true, he brushed it off and convinced B he was being an idiot.
Jason, muffled again: oh my goooooddddddd,
Tim: Jason, Jason you- *slight snort* Jason you realise this makes you a co-dad with Bruce Wayne?
*silence*
Jason, decisively: no.
Tim: *laughs* no?
Jason: nope. not happening. we're never telling him. ever.
Tim: why not?
Jason: why n- are you taking the piss?! my relationship with that man is already so fucking undeniably odd- i am not adding co-parenting dynamics to that fucking list-!
Tim: *wheeze* holy- this situation is so fucked-!
Damian: maybe for you guys, this has been my normal for years. can i go now? i'm still working.
Jason: yeah- hold on. if you've always known that i was your half-biological-father, why don't you call me dad?
Tim: *starts cackling*
Damian, evenly: because i jokingly called you 'baba' once while you were under anaesthesia and you crawled into my medical cot and started crying about how you were too young and hated going to parent-teacher nights and weren't sure if you'd be able to 'do right by me' because you couldn't remember how to sign up for children's health insurance.
*silence*
Damian: -so i just switched to Akhi for your mental health's sake.
Tim: *cackles again*
Jason: ok that's actually fair.
Tim: *still laughing* dude are you- are you ok? you've gone so white,
Jason, faint: i gave my son weed when he was thirteen...
Tim: *loses it again*
'Bruce had his chandeliers reinforced so Dick could swing on them when he was first taken in' i see you and i raise you: they're not reinforced, they just happen to be quite strong.
issue is Dick fully thinks they're reinforced, which is why he was never afraid of breaking them while swinging as a kid, and as such he doesn't realise that it will be any different trying to swing on them as a fully grown, ripped to shit adult man. he decides to show the younger siblings how to have fun in the manor years later and Damian, Duke and Tim get front row seats to the sight of Dick launching himself off the banister, grabbing a chandelier with both hands, instantly snapping it out of the ceiling, and fracturing his spine in the fall.
Jason rocks up to the cave and spots the three standing silently in front of the medical bed Dick has been sedated on after the accident.
"...What happened here then?"
"Dick's a fatass."
"...Aight."
On Red Wine
⚠️ blood. alcohol. spoilers.
"Oh, Blade yearns for Dan Heng!" "Oh, Blade misses Dan Feng!"
WHAT ABOUT JING YUAN????
[TOP / Dan Heng ] : "From someone who was close to him in a past life, he [Dan Heng] sometimes receives looks that feel affectionate, and this leaves Dan Heng with complicated feelings." [ BOTTOM / Jing Yuan ] : "When reunited with an old friend [Dan Heng], he [Jing Yuan] shows a slightly wistful expression." The term "親愛" ("しんあい" / "qīn'ài") literally translates to "affection" and can even mean "[someone/something] dear" and can be closer to "beloved" in English.
"520" = "Wo Ai Ni" = "I Love You" [ Jing Yuan's '5' was posted on the 20th ] .
The title of this readable in-game is "凤求凤." Although its real-world counterpart traditionally references a male and female phoenix, 凤求凤 portrays a romance between two male phoenixes. It draws from a well-known ancient love story originally composed for the guqin, signaling the same-sex nature of this relationship.
The chess board in Jing Yuan's splash art is an ancient endgame called "丹凤朝阳" 丹凤" and is pronounced as "Dan Feng." The same as "丹枫 朝," which means "阳" is the Sun ("Danfeng Chaoyang" translating to "[a] red phoenix flies towards the sun"). It's one of the classic "江湖名局" (renowned street/endgame puzzles), traditional positions that have been studied and passed down because they contain many interesting tactical and strategic ideas. In this endgame setup, Red appears to have many attacking chances at first glance, but these are mostly traps. The key idea in the puzzle is that Red must defend carefully and often make a subtle king move to avoid losing, and if Red misplays, Black can counterattack strongly. The game can end in a draw, and it is used as practice for pattern recognition and calculation.
"天地荒灭 不渝此誓" ("the heaven and earth may come to an end, but this oath of mine will endure") is an idiom, and "天地荒灭" comes from "天荒地老," which means "extremely long experience of time" (from "李贺《致酒行》"), and this expression is commonly used as a love manifesto by people. "不渝此誓" also comes from "至死不渝," which is a idiom/set phrase (from "《礼记·中庸》"), often used in showing enduring love as well. The closest inspiration seems to be that of the Yuefu poem "By Heaven!" by Shang Ye, regarding a love that will last "past the crumbling of the heavens and earth."
This poem is about a Vidyadhara yearning for the husband of their past life after their rebirth. In CN version, the line "飒沓青骊跃紫骝" is directly copied from an ancient Chinese poem "《燕支行》" which describes a general's expedition. "《燕支行》" is written by the famous poet from Tang Dynasty called Wang Wei, and this particular poem is themed around military and praising the achievements of a general.
WHICH COULD MEAN NOTHING...

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This is a special chapter I drew for my Haino doujinshi compilation. I'm sharing it here 😊
Thank you for still loving Haino 💚💜
conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 51 (masterpost here) *faint whooshing of air*
Dick: -was arguing with B for like three hours. he's genuinely trying to crack down on- *panicked yelp* *grunt* -whoooooly shit that was close, i almost swung straight into that stop sign.
Jason: you have got to stop drinking and swinging.
Dick: you're the one that dared me to shotgun it! it's fine, it's a bank holiday tomorrow. nobody ever does shit before a bank holiday; like they think they deserve a break from committing crimes as well.
Jason: tell me about it, i got so bored on my patrol route i've stopped and i'm now painting the outside of this lady's house for her. do you think you'll take some drinks on the stakeout?
Dick: *considering hum* depends on if i win my argument with B and get to take Dami with me. he's really trying to put a stop to unneeded team ups on stakeouts, it's insane.
Jason: he's such a coward, like he wants us to get along and spend time with each other, but once we're suited up? nooooooo~,
Dick: *annoyed mimic* 'taking more than one person to go sit in a room and watch for information is a waste of assets that we cannot afford right now' -one of us needs to take one for the team and get horrifically injured while on a solo stakeout so that he has to eat his words and admit we shouldn't do them alone.
Jason: i blame Tim. i fully blame Tim, because two weeks ago he took Steph, Kon, and that Flash-kid all on a 'stakeout' to watch for drug exchanges during some party. 50 minutes in and they got bored, started playing truth or dare, and Tim ended up just going and joining the fucking rager.
Dick, snickering: fuck, yeah Damian told me about that over the phone, what the fuck were they thinking? he's still grounded from that, isn't he?
Jason: i dunno but now they've ruined it for the rest of us because now B is cracking down- oh. oh hold on,
*faint mumbles from Jason's com*
Jason: No, no, no te preocupes, estoy bien, no necesito limonada. Estoy usando un casco, no funcionaría.
*more mumbles*
Jason: *chuckle* Gracias, gracias. -ok i'm back.
Dick: who the fuck drinks lemonade at half twelve at night? actually- who the fuck asks for their house to be painted at half twelve at night?
Jason: to be fair to her she's like, seventy and nocturnal. also she just wants the whole building to be white, it's kind of hard to fuck up regardless of the light levels. and the helmet has night vision.
Dick: *grunt of acceptance*
Jason: so do you think you'll get B to let Dami join you on that stakeout?
Dick: if he says no i'll just sneak him out to me anyway; i miss the kid, we haven't hung out in a while.
Jason: *hum*
Jason: also, Damian on a stakeout is, like, my favourite thing to experience in the entire fucking world. he is genuinely the funniest child i've ever met.
Dick: *abrupt excitement* rIGHT?!?! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS TO HIM THAT HE JUST BECOMES A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON?!
Jason: oh my- no, D, you don't even know. I've literally had conversations with Talia where we've drained entire bottles of wine discussing the science behind this, it's insane.
Dick: he is just... a creature. and i love him.
Jason: my theory is that because he's so obsessive about being productive and busy at all times, that the only occasions where his brain will let him, like... chill the fuck out and just sit, is when he's on a stakeout or something. because in his brain it's like 'well this is still vigilante work, so you have to do nothing for a while'. and then he instantly transforms into my favourite person on the planet.
Dick: what gets me- what makes me laugh is the snacks. have you seen the shit he makes himself when he's locked in on a stakeout for hours on end?
Jason: seen? motherfucker i'm the one who taught him to cook, may i remind you,
Dick: *laughs* ok so- so can you- can you tell me what's up with the custard thing...?
*pause*
Jason: *dramatic, long sigh*
Dick: *cackles* WHAT- WHAT WAS THAT?
Jason: i'm just-! *breathy laughter* no i'm just- i'm just preparing myself, because the custard thing- fucking hell,
Dick: ok so you do know what i'm talking about then?
Jason: *resigned* yeah,
Dick, amused and expectant: go on then.
Jason, resigned and hesitant: well... it was something cheap i could make easily when i was a kid, right? because it's literally just a couple dollars for a massive tub of powder and then you just mix a little of it with milk and sugar and bam, a whole meal-!
Dick, incredulous: -OF PLAIN CUSTARD?
Jaosn: FUCK OFF MY MOM WAS AN ADDICT. anyway, when i got to the league i realised that Day was like, the main heir of the league and therefor his entire existence was just about training; the kid got fed nutrition bricks and the occasional slab of meat, that was it. so when i became heir and like, usurped Damian's position, i told everybody that since he wasn't the firstborn anymore that they could all fuck off with their shitty child rearing and start treating him like a person,
Dick: -yeah didn't he mention he used to sleep in a cell before you came along?
Jason: yeah he fucking- i changed all that shit. made them give him a bedroom, cut down on his classes, started sneaking him out of the compound to spend the evenings with me and my crew in Nanda Parbat; and then i started getting him to try new foods and shit, cookin' for 'im.
Dick: and you made him *snort* -sorry, and you made him custard?
Jason: fuck off, ok? he wanted to help me cook and i figured just stirring a pot 24/7 until the goop thickened was as easy enough job. so it was the first thing i taught him to cook and i guess it stuck with him. he says the smell of it's nostalgic now, like a comfort food.
Dick: ...i guess that is kinda sweet.
Jason: yeah but now it's like, the first thing he starts craving the second he wants to relax or chill out for a bit. like i remember the first time i did a stakeout with him in Gotham we were planning for it and i was like 'ok this is gonna be at least eight hours so i need to grab some cigs; i need me some vices to stop from getting bored' y'know? and fucking Damian just hums in agreement and then goes 'agreed, i'll have to bring a portable gas cooker', and i'm like what the fuck are you-
Dick: *audible gleeful* HE- HE, THE FIRST TIME I DID A STAKEOUT WITH HIM- the first time i did a stakeout with him i didn't see what he'd packed for it until we got there, so i didn't know what the fuck was going on until an hour in when i brought out a pack of jelly babies and asked if he wanted a snack, and he went 'oh i'll make my own' and pROCEEDS TO SET UP AN ENTIRE FUCKING CAMP KITCHEN-
Jason: *starts laughing, slowly increasing in pitch*
Dick: AND I'M THERE-, i'm sat there side-eyeing him while keeping track of our target as he starts filling an entire fucking pot with milk and heating it up, just thinking like, 'shit i can't question him about this; what if this is like, a part of his culture or something-?'
Jason: *hand clapping* a part of his culture,
Dick: LIKE WHAT IF THIS IS AN ARAB THING AND HE THINKS I'M MOCKING IT?! I DON'T FUCKIN' KNOW,
Jason: and he- the worst part is that he will literally make like, five servings in a single fucking batch. like- like the pot is full by the time he's done, and then he'll carry it and one of those big ass adult-spoons over to where he's sat and just proceed to raw dog this entire pan of fuckin' custard; face blank, eyes unfocused, just shovelling it in,
Dick: *weeping*
Jason: *eager* -he took a pot to the movie theatre once.
Dick: *indignant* FUCK. OFF.
Jason: no i'm serious, we did a- *choked snort* we did a stakeout once that got cut short abruptly, because the guy killed himself three hours in, and we'd already blocked out most of the night to be there, so we were like 'ok well shit, what do we do now?' and there was a movie theatre down the street from where we were based, so i was like 'well we could go watch a movie', right?
Dick: *prompting hum*
Jason: and we settle on a movie and i go onto the site to book the tickets online real quick, and i notice this little fucker out the corner of my eye, as he starts nonchalantly getting out his fucking pot,
Dick: *abrupt wheeze*
Jason: and i'm like, don't you- *wheeze* kid don't you fuckin' dare,
Dick: *silent gasps of laughter*
Jason, struggling not to laugh: he looks me dead in the eyes as he brings out the custard powder and says *solemn tone* 'i will need snacks for the movie, brother'. AND I'M FUCKING- i have to be like 'hey, hey Damian? Damian, my sweet sweet boy? NOT THIS.'
Dick: *bursts into a new round of cackles*
Jason: LIKE THAT'S- THAT IS ILLEGAL. YOU CANNOT DO THAT. YOU CANNOT- and this fucking child proceeds to cook himself one of his fucking pans of custard, shoves a spoon in, and then carries it down the street into the movie theatre.
Dick: *while crying* and you- you had to go in with him...?
Jason: i swear to god i showed the ticket guy our tickets, the dude looked at me, looked at Damian with his fucking pot of steaming custard, looked back at me, and i had to be like 'yeah man- i'm not fucking happy about this situation either; like this is also not where i want to be on earth right now, you and i are both victims here, but unfortunately this child does have pepper spray on him right now and i don't think trying to take the pan away would be very productive'.
Dick: -aND THEY LET HIM IN WITH IT?!?!
Jason, sombre: Dick- Dick. you don't understand. he finished the fucking pan before the ads were over.
Dick: HE- *uncontrollable choking wheezes*
Jason: i saw him mentally calculating whether or not he could go and make another pot before the movie started and i had to put my foot down like 'if you dare leave this fucking seat before this movie is finished i will shave your fucking head'.
Dick: *still crying, tone high-pitched* i love stakeout Damian so much...
Jason, voice dry: yeah he's a fuckin' gem.
Dick: *cackle*