henry nigel hybrid

Tell me WHY Demian's first suggestion to help Emil with the Kromer situation was literal murder

AND THEN HE CALLED IT THE MOST SIMPLE SOLUTION TOO.

Speaking of like minds — I always found it interesting that Alex's main interaction with Nigel was violence yet he couldn't ever figure out why Nigel didn't respond normally to it. One, he has a decently violent father himself so hitting likely isn't that "helpful" to straighten Nigel out. That and.. he just adapts to the violence in his own way by also being violent? Or i should say Nigel has always been willing to be violent. He dissects animals which could be seen as a violence in its own with the brutality the specimen carefully endures. Sometimes, when you live in a household where there is violence you start to see it as a sort of love language or just a way humans interact. At a certain point... he was toying with Alex quite obviously but I just wonder if he was seeing Alex as this violent creature that needed brutality to be able to properly engage in a relationship with him. Similarly, I think that's why he was always so adamant on insisting that Alex and him were the same and that Alex wanted people hurt. Alex just isn't brave enough to do it himself so Nigel does it for him as Jack's only weapon.

Seriously though Alex kept smacking Nigel around and I was looking at my screen like does he really respond the way you think he will to this.. ever???

Nigel whole ordeal is about preserving death. Vampire is a dead man walking, the different between zombies is that they drink blood. But dead body, even with chemical preserving it will still decayed, and overtime rotten.

Me, personally, do not want to involve too much magic outside of resurrection and immortality, so I would like to propose this.

The blood is essential but not because of the essence of life in magical way, but because it is needed for the body to operate. Blood has the necessary nutrients for the brain and heart to work, and when these two work you starting to feel, to able to control your body—to live.

The body will no longer rotten when it stays operate. But it came with a condition, you, yourself is dead and therefore cannot produce life, which is blood. Meaning you have to get it from somewhere else. Dead animal blood will make the nutrients diluted. Live one is better but still lack glucose and needed in large quantities to match. Animal blood overall will make the sense lacking, slower thinking. Human blood is obviously higher quality and have everything the body needs to function, a live one is even better.

Digestive system can work but that means an unnecessary output of energy, so eating is not advised when the body can already consume nutrients directly from the vein.

The ritual acted like car service center, they will maintain the outer shell and fix the inside but you are responsible for making it work.

Back to this post, which I totally think it through before I wrote what I wrote.

“Nigel found himself unable to feel the fabric on his skin, nor the temperature around in the slightest. “

He has enough to think, to see, to move his body here (which I think is not exactly from his brain commanding the arm to move but more like an instinct on the body—technically he wouldn’t be able to feel the movement but sees it). Which is very generous for the duration of the ritual which is nine months, plus before the start. So I would like to think the person who resurrected him *wink wink* did give him some supplements beforehand.

i think a lot about where he would’ve been at mentally post-maracleaing of helen. if it would've had any effect on him at all, which i believe it did. bear with me here, i’ve got a lot to say. see, it was different before with each death because HE hadn't lost anything close to him (besides being sent away. and i have thoughts on that too, but i digress bc he was still able to retain a lot of what looks like his former lifestyle at the school). only alex had; between his privacy- his room, the only thing that was really HIS to begin with that his father made a point to allow him to have-, then josh- his best friend-, and then susan. like it's really no wonder alex was the way that he was. even if he enjoyed it all partially and enabled it, it’s GOING to have at least a subconscious effect on him. and i do maintain that although i think he was complicit and equally enthralled by he and nigel's activities (not so much about having to submit to him though), i do also think he was relieved even partly to see nigel die. i do think he did want it, perhaps he didn’t even really imagine such a thing could be possible, but then after it happened, he realized that finally being rid of nigel didn't fix him at all or set anything back to normal and wanted so badly for it to be undone.

now for nigel, to bring this back around, everything that happened kinda only benefited him in some way. either by isolating alex or bestowing his partner a maraclea. i think he really did assume his parents were a sacrifice he was willingly to make and was fully able to, but once it came down to it, it was a lot harder than what he'd expected but MOSTLY as an undercurrent of distress that would build and build until he was eventually set off. i think he would've gotten over it. i think he could've been fine with alex at his side, but once alex walked away from him, he had to sit with himself and witness everything that he'd just destroyed for nothing because alex still wouldn't have him. so he kinda freaked out. it was now or never. he HAD to do something and he couldn't let alex get away, he couldn't let it be for nothing. and he had to go back inside that house to get his father’s rifle and i wonder if he did so before or after he made up his mind that he was going to go after alex and if grabbing the rifle was even the purpose of going back inside at all? or if he just wandered back in there as habit because that was HIS space and where else is he going to go at a moment like this? (he’s gotta get out of that rain yk?). but i’m also thinking about if seeing the house so empty and his inability to come to terms with what he just did is what triggered him. he looked so confused after john took the bullet for him. he fully glanced around at his surroundings to try to take it in and then landed on alex before he was able to comprehend any of it, as if he’d fully reverted back to where he’d been before anything had happened that night. he focused on alex so wholly that he detached from whatever emotions were beginning to set in with him, and that’s probably how it would’ve remained from that day forward IN a better reality (only for him) where he and alex frolicked off into the sunset and nigel either A.) never would’ve had to face what his actions had caused, or B.) was able to process it at a better time when he felt more assured that alex was his. he needed alex there to ground himself and i suspect him inviting alex to the maracleaing had more to do with that than putting on a show for him. it’s shared suffering, he’s finally pulling his portion of the hardship their union requires. or maybe it was just convenient that alex was there at all to bring him back around. either way, he didn’t HAVE to think about what he’d just done if he could imagine that it was all in the name of he and alex’s future, so he keeps his mind focused there. why look back? it was necessary.

but then when alex is gone and it's just him and that empty house. then what? he doesn’t HAVE that distraction or solace to turn to and deflect from what just happened. he couldn't bear it. that must have been so much to take even as it started just slowly seeping in from the time alex left him by the fire pit to the time he caught up with him (he even called after alex because the distance between himself and alex that he would have to close in order for alex to hear him speaking in a normal tone felt too great. that’s the ONLY time he yells in the film, save when he raises his voice slightly as alex turns to leave the crawlspace), and although it WAS fully his own doing- i'm not absolving him of anything here- i think it must've been almost agonizing to feel for a person like him. just so confusing and overwhelming. and he did everything he could to avoid facing the gravity of his actions and was determined to make it stop altogether. so he went after alex, and when alex shows him that he'd rather die than be with him- even die by nigel’s hand- nigel decides that there's only one outcome left. it all HAS to mean something. it came this far, he can't let it be in vain. like it just. i'm just so. im pulling at my faded blue curtain bangs and smudging my eyeliner down my face while i run my hands down it in distress like an overworked middle aged dad that just got off a sixteen hour shift and the kids are running around screaming.

he was so desperate to be wanted back, like he NEEDED it, but alex came around to realizing he DID want nigel too late. ‘‘they say achilles cared more for patroclus after he died.’’ and that’s kinda nigel’s fashion, to only really care as deeply for things once they’re dead, so it becomes him that he should be patroclus. but jesus, mary AND joseph, what the hellllll? HE WAS GONNA BE AN ACROBAT (/ref) WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO HIM GREG??? i’m curling into a ball on my side and thinking about the future he should’ve had if he’d never gone to st. barnabas. the place that started it all. that truly ruined him FOR GOOD. there’s a faint echo of helen’s voice off those horrid bedroom walls where she asks john not to send him a way and tells him that she doesn’t think this is such a good idea but he convinces her otherwise. or WORSE, she thinks it’ll be good for him, because a part of her wants to be free from him for a little while as well because it’s so much STRAIN to try to love a boy with that many problems and who puts so much tension on the household. either is bad. it’s all bad. everything is bad. there’s no saving any of this anymore. just let it die. just let nigel die and let it be over with already, put him out of his misery. take him out back and old yeller him.

this all started as a rant about a drawing i hope to make to explore nigel's mindset, and it all kinda ties in with what else i’ve been saying but only if you have all the pieces of the puzzle. my brain is very much hyper focused on One thing atm so i’m just on loop rn. for instance, i was being comical in my previous post about nigel just showing up naked in front of alex lol. but it IS something that appeals to me in maybe a more symbolic way in regards to nigel wanting alex to want him ENTIRELY. again, it's that desperation to feel like he means anything to alex. he’d HAD his maraclea but he didn’t really WANT helen, that didn’t fulfill him. it wasn’t enough, he wanted alex too and he wanted alex to accept HIM (and you've gotta imagine for angst purposes about nigel wondering why alex doesn't want him. you could get quite ooc with this and in fact you should). that post-colbies death mindset. he could be good, alex. why don't you want him? obvs the nudity here is just to enrich the vulnerability and openness of it all in congruence to what i think, at this point in time if he’d survived, would be his just utterly SHATTERED spirit. just so defeated. i think in a way it was like his breaking point with how it went down and had he not killed himself then, it would be difficult to almost keep him alive if he didn't feel like his purpose was what it once was or felt increasingly more difficult to accomplish. he’s GOING to make a rash decision soon if he doesn’t get his way, even more rash than disemboweling an innocent teenage girl for dividing alex’s attention away from him. and he almost admitted a bit to his warped delusions too in telling alex WHY they are ‘the enemy’, so everybody join hands and pray he doesn't ever become more self aware than that or you're gonna have to put away the sharp objects and unfortunately he has a lot of them. i mean, at least he kinda descended back into his delusions a bit once the epiphany hit that by killing himself he could preserve his purpose and what he thought was true if he could become a PIECE of alex, then proceeded to ask alex to pray for him. but still. i don't think yanking the gun away at the right moment is gonna be enough to keep him alive from that day forward. especially not when you’re dealing with Alex- Unprincipled Man; Rogue. Stubborn Asshole Who Doesn’t Know When To Leave Well Enough Alone And Refuses To Fully Submit (not saying he should)- Forbes. i just really do not think nigel would’ve been well, like at all after the events of that night. even though it’s a nice fantasy to entertain that nothing can really get through to him, i don’t think that’s the case. i think maybe it all was perhaps just laying dormant until what happened that night and then it fully sent him over the edge, and it just LOOKED as if he was handling it better all the while because he was so detached from it in favor of pursuing alex.