Flight of the Tumblr B

unclear. adj. of or pertaining to an uncle

in actual uncontrollable sobbing fits of laughter over my mom's "EW ORK CITY" tshirt like i don't think enough oxygen is reaching my brain rn i'm laughing so hard

[ID: image of a white tshirt that is supposed to say "New York City" but the first letter of each word is white, leading to "ew ork city". below is text saying "manhattan 5th avenue" /end ID]

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

accidentally wrote "maid of horror" and I think I'm on to something actually. new wedding role responsible for releasing a chainsaw clown into the chapel if things get boring

[ID: digital illustration dark blue creature with red starburst with disembodied sharp teeth in place of a head. Large jagged top surgery scars visible on side of chest. Sword buried into back. Creature bent in a crawling or lunging position. Feet and body wrapped in stylised red barbed wire. /end ID]

[ID: From the perspective of on horseback, a young Black boy pets the neck and head of a bay horse. Other people are visible standing on the curb of the paved drive that the horse is on as the camera adjusts. The person behind the camera asks "What you think about them?" The boy smiles as he says "I like them. I'm gonna ride a horse." The camera person asks "Wanna get on?" The boy excitedly asks "I can get on?" "Yeah!" Turning to the people on the curb as another boy approaches to pet the horse, he hops as he calls "Momma, can I get on the horse?!" There's an indistinct answer ("-get on"?) as the camera person shifts, a close-up of the horse's mane as they shift to dismount, saying "Yeah, c'mon". A third child nearby also hops as one of the children calls "I wanna get on the horse!", the camera tipping so we can see a second horse (pale with a brown head) and rider next to the first. The first child confirms "Can I ride it?" and the camera person says "Yeah, c'mon up" and shifts towards the horse's head to give instructions about mounting. The view is of the horse's neck and the stirrup during this part. "Put your left foot in there. Wait, wait, that's wrong -- put your left foot. Put that foot in there, and climb up." The child starts laughing as he settles into the saddle and lifts the rope reins. The camera person cheers him on, "Yes, siiiir! Yes, sir! You ready?" The view switches to the smiling face of the camera person (Cowboy K), a Black man in a ballcap and t-shirt that reads "Daisy Ranch -- We Walking Over Here". He leads the horse in a walk as the child continues to laugh, delighted. Another child is heard asking "Momma, can I go on that horse?" The mounted child calls "Momma, I'm on a horse! I'm a cowboy!" /end ID]

pisses me off that gender is just pattern recognition thats been drilled into us since birth. why didnt they teach us something important instead like which snakes are venomous

the fact that im supposedly wble to tell if someones a girl or boy by one glance but i have to google is a spider can kill me is so incredibly shortsighted

the etymology of "piano" is so fucking dumb I love it. yeah this is my cool new harpsichord. it has more volume control than a standard harpsichord so we call it a "loudsoft" for short. or a "softloud" if you prefer. but that's still a bit of a mouthful so I've been thinking of just calling it a soft.

[ID: Gauche painting of a vibrant orange-red tiger creature against dark foliage, gazing behind itself to meet the viewer. Its stripes are tinted green, with an extra set of legs; it curves around a small, bright red star. End ID.]

Why is it easier and more comfortable to sit in a position that actively damages my joints than it is to just sit with okay posture. Why does my body crave its own destruction

Tomfoolery actually transitioned and only does she-nanigans now

clark kent ticking the organ donor box on his drivers license automatically out of the goodness of his heart and then panicking because what if he actually dies somehow and some human gets a super heart what would even HAPPEN like he can't have his kryptonian retinas with laser vision donated to a random eight year old and so he has to awkwardly go back to the DMV to get it changed to not an organ donor but he's so embarrassed the whole time because the DMV employees will think he's a bad person that by the time he's done he has to go cry in the car

plot twist he's so clearly distressed and sad about doing this that the dmv folks just quietly assume he must have received some kind of awful medical diagnosis that makes him ineligible to donate and the first clerk that helped him immediately takes a smoke break and sees him crying in the car and that's how Clark gets at least 3 rock solid anonymous sources at the dmv and a free off-brand coke from the break room fridge.