HISTORY COMES FULL CIRCLE, HOLY SHIT I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE STILL DOING THIS TO KIDS.
They did this shit at my school way back when Columbine had just happened!
Naturally, we invented all sorts of bullshit ways to carry our shit, because what the fuck, we need backpacks.
-Fishing rod with twine tied around two pencils and a small pocket notebook.
-Tons of people got those little clear plastic bags they have in grocery stores for fruit and shit, and used them as see-through pencil cases
Note: THEY PROCEEDED TO THEN ALSO BAN THE BAGS AS “CHOKING HAZARDS”. WE WERE NOT THREE YEAR OLDS. OUR HEADS DIDN’T EVEN FIT IN THE FUCKING BAGS, AND BELIEVE ME, WE TRIED AS SOON AS THEY ANNOUNCED THE BAN, BECAUSE MOST OF US WOULD RATHER HAVE DIED THAN BEEN IN FUCKING SCHOOL BY THAT POINT. DID THEY THINK WE WERE GONNA STUFF THE BAGS DOWN OUR THROATS? CHRIST.)
-One kid dressed up like a priest and used the loose fabric of the cassock to carry three text books around all day.
-Someone hollowed out a fucking loaf of bread, pretended to be French all day, and made a show out of pulling a ridiculous number of highlighters out of this fucking bread in the middle of class.
Now that I think about it, I think that kid invented Panera Bread by accident. Y’know, the little bread soup bowls? This was that, but with highlighters instead of soup.
Eventually, things escalated, and the principal called the police after he went to the parking lot and found his car broken into– Nothing was stolen, but there were about 5000 fucking backpacks stuffed in his car, to the point that the door wouldn’t even open.
I don’t know who did it, or what group of people did it, but they’re all fucking heroes because the next week backpacks were permitted again.
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