ceaseless watcher, turn your gaze upon this twink

I know we make jokes about the proverbial asexual pervert who has written hundreds of thousands of words of smut on ao3, but also shoutout to the aces who aren’t perverts. to the aces who skip the sex scenes and wince at sex jokes and awkwardly leave the conversation when your friends start talking about sex. your boundaries aren’t childish and fuck anyone who says otherwise.

C’mon, rule of threes, give me Elon musk fatal masturbation accident

past ryland grace saying "right now the best minds in the world are working on it" and then cutting to present grace crumpled against the wall in sunglasses holding an iv bag of vodka is literally the dirtiest cut in existence. HOWEVER. we must not let it overshadow the classic ryland asking "what's project hail mary?" and then immediately cutting to eva stratt giving a powerpoint presentation titled "what is project hail mary?"

i know you're already typing "of course the cookie clicker guy would post that" but i really do have a fondness for exponential automation bootstrapping scenarios. one of my favorite old minecraft modpacks had stuff like solar panels and replicators. what you do is you painstakingly amass the components to create your first replicator (which involves rubber farms, ore quarries, processing lines, etc) and go to great lengths to power it through cranks you have to turn or coal you have to dig up. at some point you build your first solar panel. very slow energy output but it passively powers your replicator for free. what do you replicate? solar panels. you can then craft more efficient solar panels out of those solar panels. your energy output accelerates and so does your replication rate. eventually you're producing so much extra energy that you can justify plugging in a second replicator, and then a third, which you replicated for free. your replicators replicate replicators along with the solar panels that power them. for fun, you drop one diamond in the system and your entire chest network fills up almost immediately with thousands and thousands of diamonds. you will never run out of anything ever again. i don't think that modpack has replicators anymore

my friend keeps sending the groupchat voice notes of her eating bussy and calling it "asmr"..... bro go study for your physics exam 😭

(writes something) god this sucks so bad. this is awful. i'm the worst writer ever. this is nothing. (rereads it a while after writing it) oh dude this is fire. i'm the god of writing. (writes something again) god this sucks so bad. th