Behold my dogs or else (...I'll be sad)

using my autism power (Focused Analysis) to locate the closest narcissist and immediately befriend them to increase our joint slay

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

I love when people try to gotcha me on my stance that all sports should be gender integrated with "even American football???" because I can instantly come back with "oh lmao, no, I don't think ANYONE should play American football at all, it's way too dangerous" like nice try but I know no amount of testosterone is going to protect you from the profound, life ruining health issues caused by getting repeated severe concussions over the course of several years. No one should play this sport.

Like do you really think muscle mass or gender/sex can protect you from CTE?? You think men are naturally more resistant to concussions?? Because idk how else you square this sport being too dangerous for cis women and people afab but perfectly safe for cis men and people amab. Having a testosterone dominant endocrine system isn't gonna do shit in the face of traumatic brain injury. Be serious. This sport should not exist.

no amount of employment could stop me posting on tumblr dot com

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

well damn . egg on my face

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

of course, the best part of any character's corruption arc is their cool new outfit

out of my way. i need to claim my free milhouse shield

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

Appalachian landlords are cartoonishly evil. Not that city landlords aren’t, just that there are often tenants rights organizations and city ordinances to keep them in check. You go to a rural area and the rental listings are like “Chicken coop. 45 miles from anywhere. No bedroom, no bath. No WiFi, no air conditioning. $850 a month.” You’ve probably seen, or perhaps driven through, one of those sad little former mining neighborhoods full of 100 year old houses in disrepair with massive holes in the walls and cinderblocks for stairs and in all likelihood, the people living there are paying rent to a landleech. $15k house. $800 a month rent.