dumbnuts inc.

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real

they call it the MBTA: Masturbating Beautiful Transgenders. Amazing

Official Post of Massachusetts

getting northern licked by a northern flicker

Like two years ago I ran into a salamander biologist in the woods who complimented my ability to 'walk quietly in the forest while causing minimal disturbance to the leaf litter.' Still goes to my head.

weve decided not to move forward with you at this position because a meteor has hit our office and destroyed the whole shit big mode. we hope your job search goes well

you ask a student in april how they're doing and they'll say "oh i'm fine" but in reality they are treating themselves in such a way that violates the geneva convention on treatment of prisoners

If you know someone who was terminated, or are someone that was terminated, please contact me, I'm trying to gather evidence.

Now if Iron Lung the movie gets a Blu-ray release, I suggest adding in the director's commentary starting with "Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier..." and also Markiplier in the corner.