Contained Mayhem

every time you make art of any kind, a stat that is not visible to the player goes up. also, this is the most important stat in the game

does singing in the shower count as art

does a strong as fuck ice mummy have ice powers

spider-man, spider-man. does whatever spider can. bites a man, infects a man, he has made spider-man-man

cmon this one is funny

*spider-man accent* cmaahhn

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

Literally almost every millennial I know has a memory of accidentally walking in on their parents or hearing their parents having sex. It's fucking normal. Human beings have sex. Your parents fuck. Get over it. Being weird about it isn't healthy.

it's okay for me to throw stones my house is made of much sturdier glass

Transcript: Yesterday my cousin said that my rooster wasn't a real rooster. He said he's a Walmart rooster. *chicken noises* Does this not look like a real rooster to you? *chicken makes a sound again* Sure, he's small, but he has feelings.

important context this person looks and sounds like they’re gonna cry

Also important to note that the rooster appears to be roughly the size of a large pigeon.

The pigeon people have informed me he is the size of a normal pigeon, or perhaps even a small pigeon. Fucking rip.

i love finding out what degrees my mutuals have. like what the fuck do you mean you do law? you’re a doctor who blog

Thats the context for this meme???

I feel like I've been robbed the whole time. This is magical.

I'm dying

hey, I was just at "things got better" island and everyone there is talking about how excited they are to meet you

Hey yeah so this post literally kept me alive for like 6 months. Thank you. And OP is so right. Everyone on this island became my best friends. And guess what? Now they can't wait to meet *you* and they talk about you every single day.