{V}

And then I went to the USAmerican Midwest

Rains frequently, but the worst is like standing under a bathroom shower. Genuinely inhospitable rainstorms are uncommon.

Along the coast, it's pretty easy in most areas to walk to at least one store, or else there's usually a bus or shuttle available. There are sidewalks and bike lanes everywhere.

It's a temperate boreal rainforest, so while there are many freshwater lakes and rivers, they're usually pretty cold. The biggest danger is typically getting caught in a strong current, and the most dangerous animals in swimming distance are on land.

Earthquakes happen almost every day, but the vast majority go unnoticed. Buildings are designed to withstand bigger seismic activity, so unless it's a 5 or higher it just kind of feels like having low blood sugar for a second. There are no tornados

Rural Illinois, USA:

One minute it's sunny, then ten minutes later that distant smudge on the horizon has swallowed the entire sky in black clouds and the water is coming down like waterfall and you literally CANNOT SEE. Then there's a crash like cymbals and you need to get indoors because the thunder and lightening are on TOP of you

No sidewalks until you are in the smack dab center of town, which is a three hour walk or twenty minute drive from wherever you are.

There aren't many natural bodies of water other than small ponds and creeks, and because the environment is so much warmer, those are filled with snapping turtles that can grow bigger than a nine year old child and water snakes that are incredibly venomous. These are paired with leeches and mosquitos for that sweet umami flavor.

This image was so visceral I had to draw it.

“This country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal. To my mind, that is what’s known as being stunningly and embarrassingly full of shit.” - George Carlin

As requested by anon. :)

Previously in this series: Kelsier/Hoid, Leshwi/Kaladin, Kaladin/Lezian, Shallan/Vin, Kaladin/Kelsier, Renarin/Rlain, Shakadolin, Shallan/Kaladin, Kaladin/Adolin, Jasnah/Shallan, and Raboniel/Navani.

1. Nale

Nale: [head in his hands] Nale: That's not Nale: That's not how the Third Ideal works

2. Kadash

Kadash: [head in hands] Kadash: First, you dated (and married!) your brother's ex-wife. Kadash: Aka, your sister. Kadash: Now you are dating your brother's murderer? Kadash: Dalinar, can you PLEASE stop with the problematic relationships??

3. Taravangian

Taravangian: I can't help but feel responsible for this. Taravangian: I sent Szeth to kill Dalinar. Taravangian: I didn't account for the heady thrill of a man coming at you, completely dedicated to your death. Adrotagia: Uh... Taravangian: [sighs] I'll probably need to speak at their wedding.

4. Hoid

Hoid: It's a truly classic story, isn't it? Hoid: The overly loyal knight and his master. Design: Who have sex! Hoid: ...Usually metaphorically more than literally, but... Design: [nodding wisely] But also literally.

5. Drehy

Drehy: Doesn't make sense. Drehy: Dalinar had all of Bridge 4 guarding him at one point--aka, Alethkar's hottest eligible bachelors. Drehy: Doesn't date 'em. Drehy: Gets the smallest, skinniest Shin bodyguard. Drehy: Dates him. Drehy: No accounting for taste, I guess!

6. Syl

Syl: Hey Kal, remember when Dalinar caught Szeth's shardblade in both of his hands? Kaladin: Yeah, I remember. The lastclap. It was when he, Adolin and I were all fighting Szeth. Kaladin: Why? Syl: Just, you know, catching Szeth's blade in his hands. Kaladin: ....Okay? Syl: ... Syl: Never mind.

7. Navani

Navani: I understand that people may expect me to be upset about this. Navani: But I think that each spouse gets one free gay fling with a dangerous mass murderer. Navani: It's only fair.

8. Adolin

Adolin: [Glances left, where Renarin is standing beside the towering warform Rlain] Adolin: [Glances right, where Dalinar is standing beside the diminutive Szeth] Adolin: Am I Adolin: Am I the only Kholin with no size kink?

9. Renarin

Renarin: I-It's probably good for dad to be with someone who understands his religious trauma and his enduring need to follow rules. Dalinar: [clutching the Way of Kings] What do you mean? Szeth: [clutching his oathstone] I am not following either.

10. Nightblood

My wife has still not read any Cosmere books. She listens to me talk, and she sometimes reads this blog, and that is where all her knowledge derives from.

So anyway, here are her Top 10 Favorite and Least Favorite Characters and why! In no particular order because she said ordering them seemed hard.

[Previous Interviews With My Wife: Part 1, Part 2]

Who are your top 10 favorite characters?

1. Steris

"She's autism girl and she plans things and that's cool."

2. Adolin's sword girl [Maya]

"Because she's cute. And she screams. :)"

3. Tress

"Because she's adorable. She likes teacups and she explodes things. That's pretty much awesome."

4. Kaladin's rival lady [Leshwi]

"Is she a crab? I mean the rival crab lady. Because she's bad-ass."

5. Dalinar

"He's a smoofy, grumpy boy, even though he burned his wife--but that's okay! :)"

6. Navani

"Because she has a grumpy husband and a toxic yuri wife. And that's pretty epic."

7. Yumi

"Because she is fun and she can balance things. And we can stan a cool Asian boss lady." [author's note: my wife is Asian]

8. The girl who cannot aim [Ann]

"Because it's funny! But I do not know her name."

9. Vin

"Because she's really bad-ass. I know nothing about her except that she's bad-ass. And I think she kills everything? That's pretty cool. I like that in a woman." [author's note: I have never killed anyone. I promise]

10. Boob girl [Design]

"Because she's got big boobs. And she decided she wanted big boobs and so she gave herself big boobs. Nice. And she has a fun name." [author's note: my wife did not remember the name]

11. Bonus: Elhokar Susebron

"Elhokar! [Me: ...Elhokar?] "You know the guy who seemed evil and then was smoofy? Like, he seemed scary and then they got married and he was really cuddly?" [Me: You mean...Susebron?] "Um, yes? That's my favorite trope! When the big evil guy turns out to be smoofy!"

Who are your top 10 least favorite characters?

1. The guy is either a genius or stupid [Taravangian]

"Because he's a prick."

2. The douche who made Kaladin's team almost die because he was a prick? [Sadeas]

Me: That could be many people, actually. My wife: The one with the bridge crew! Me: Got it.

3. The god person who takes over you when you wear metal [I still don't know whether she means Ruin or Sazed]

My wife: Because that's cheating! And i don't like it. Me: Which one? My wife: There's more than one?!

4. Kaladin's dad [Lirin]

"Oh my god! Kaladin's dad!!!" [Me: That's gonna be controversial] "He's a jerk! He's one of those horrible helicopter parents who is like 'Oh you have to be a doctor even if you don't want to be!' Ooooh, I hate him. He's in my top 5 most hated."

5. Shallan's dad [Lin]

"isn't he bad? I don't remember what he did. He was really creepy and douchy, right? He deserved that death!"

6. Kelsier

My wife: Who is that guy who is sort of evil but not really evil? Me: Kelsier? My wife: He seems kinda meh. He's everywhere, right? Why is he everywhere?"

7. The Lord Ruler, I guess?

"You know that cowboy planet? The ones who moved the sun around and everything. That was stupid and bad planning."

8. Charlie's dad

"Was Tress's dad bad?" [Me: No!] "Who then? The boyfriend's dad?" [Me: Yes] "Him then! I hate bad dads!! Happy father's day."

9. Yumi's boyfriend

Me: You don't like Nikaro?? My wife: I think he's incel-coded. I mean, I think he got better, but still!

10. Hoid

stupid shitty grace rocky pride comic