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i want to interact with people more but what if they kill me
JENNIFER'S BODY // (2009) — dir. karyn kusama
i can’t stop thinking about how Henry tells Richard “You’re not very happy where you come from, are you?…The others don’t really understand that sort of thing, you know” and then the book ends with “Are you happy here?” / “Not particularly, but you’re not very happy where you are, either”
both of them just wanted to get away so bad and they tried to escape into their own worlds by aestheticizing everything but in the end they both come up bust
“I want to see the devil in us all.”
-Robert Mapplethorpe
Art: Leonid Ilyukhin, “Apollo and Dionysus”

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Henry is so funny because he envisions himself as a tortured soul held back from mindless pleasure because of his intellect, and decides to do a whole ass ritual to achieve a higher form of ecstasy and free himself of his mind for a while but like, that's just a normal person engaging in drugs, drinks, food, partying.
He can't even properly enjoy himself without making a mess of things, yet he looks down upon "normal people" who can actually have a good time
I shall repeat my thoughts on subject, bcs many ppl don't understand what's the point, heh.
Em.
Well, if you seriously don't see the difference between the mysteries (it's not just Dionysus, it's also the Eleusinian Mysteries, Adonis, and Attis...) it's a whole layer of ancient Mediterranean culture. And you really equate this to the bestial orgies of creatures like Judy and Cloke?
It's like comparing Lulu to the sight and grunting of pigs in the mud, saying that both are sound waves of a certain length.
If you think that consuming drugs, alcohol, and having unprotected sex is a good way to spend your time, then... Man, Orwell is already with us. Orwell wasn't joking when he wrote Animal Farm.
Or Pierre Boulle. He's got people there who have lost their humanity and become chimpanzee pets. And what's the big deal, Judy would be happy with that: food, drink, and sex, that's all she needs.
The entire group was intrinsically and intimately bound together, that is true, but God, how many times I died throughout the book wanting to see things beyond Richard’s increasingly desperate point of view. Henry was transferring the car into his name. That could indicate so many things: merely a safety measure, an alibi in case everything went wrong and Richard was to be incriminated, or a completely genuine act. The dream at the end — just Richard and Henry — feels like closing the book with a golden key (I have no ship preferences and, honestly, I shipped everyone there, all so interesting with their flaws and qualities), it seemed right, it felt right. The tension, the passion, the distance, the obsession, the desperation of both of them, so different and yet so alike.
At the beginning of the book, I wanted to see Richard with Francis. Later, I would have loved to see him with Camilla. Then I thought Camilla and Henry would make a perfect pair. Until it became Henry and Henry and Henry, and everything made so much more sense with him at the center — whether as the object of Richard’s adoration, or of his resentment and insecurity. There is too much feeling for it to be nothing. Even when everyone seemed strangely compatible, sharing that intense chemistry, it was Richard and Henry. The ending felt like a breath of fresh air after all that suffocation.
“Are you happy here?” I said at last.
He considered this for a moment. “Not particularly,” he said. “But you’re not very happy where you are, either.”
i’m reading the secret history by donna tartt and i came digging on tumblr to indulge a bit in my new hyperfocus and all i find are photos of sweaters and cafés and snow that it's okay but like
where the fuck are the dead deers where the fuck are the posts about this four fellows running on fucking feral in the woods at midnight after an orgy and then coming back home covered in blood like give me the crows and the poisons and the baths and the bruises and the blonde hair painted red with blood give me the obsessionnnn
this is straight folk horror but in elitist cult rediscovering paganism with no limits and i love them for that
i love your thoughts on characters/media but sometimes... not everything is about BDSM
yeah it is

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oh I see. it was the crime of wanting. that's why I deserve it.
Heated Rivalry: the last frame of the first season
I love them.
untouched -> by thesehands Ilya Rozanov/Shane Hollander | E | 12k
Shane dropped his gaze. “You’re really going to make me ask?” “Yes,” Ilya said. “You ask, maybe you get. So, ask.” “Okay,” Shane said. “I want you to fuck me.” Ilya started to laugh. “Don’t—this isn’t a fucking joke, alright?” Shane snapped. “Shut up. I want it to be different. Or, no—the same, but more. I want you to just make me fucking take it. Shit. I don’t know how to ask you for this.” “No, no, is good start so far,” Ilya said. “Go back to the part where I get to make you fucking take it. That is good. Tell me more.”
Hannibal rewatch S02E09 - Shiizakana That’s Kevin. Don’t stare. They’ll take him away.
HEATED RIVALRY ⏤ 1x02 -> 1x05

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lesbian heated rivalry wouldn’t be in hockey because there are already many out queer women in hockey due to the fact that hockey is viewed as a men’s sport. the whole reason hockey is captivating for mlm is because it is a toxically masculine sport and the idea of having out queer men in that sport is surprising (requiring them to stay closeted/have situationships/etc), whereas it is not nearly as surprising for queer women. therefore, lesbian heated rivalry would actually occur in a setting like ballet, gymnastics, or some other stereotypically feminine sport (that has toxic feminine standards) where queer women are not as visible. in this essay i will
kandreil date night is actually the easiest thing in the world. kevin picks the place, andrew drives, neil pays. they don’t have to worry abt awkward silences because two of the three are always yapping abt something