im nothing in my soul if not committed to the bit

To think that the last conversation they've had is them calling each other crazy. And Yossarian apparently is feigning illness in the hospital at Chapter 1 precisely out of grief for Clevinger. I find this intriguing because (iirc correct me if I'm wrong) all the events that occur after Yossarian's Ch.1 hospital trip are presented in chronological order, with previous events inserted between them. So one may say that for all the events of the book that the reader witnesses in real time (?) Clevinger isn't alive during them. He's dead and lives only in Yossarian's memory, like Snowden, and maaaaybe Mudd.

And:

These two hospital visits are directly described, even though on Heller's outline it says Yossarian's flown 35 times by the 2nd visit and in the book it's 38. But they are there. But as far as I can remember the motivations behind Yossarian's Ch.1 hospital visit (which is neither of these because Yossarian's flown 44 missions when he gets out) are never really mentioned. I just think it's interesting that Heller chooses to leave that out of the book and readers never get to know exactly how Yossarian feels when news of Clevinger's disappearance first reaches him, and what kind of meaning he himself has given to his choice to be in the hospital in Ch.1.

And, Dunbar is there with him. Why? Have they decided on it together? Out of similar reasons? If not then when exactly does Dunbar show up in the hospital? Also, has he talked with Clevinger after his argument with Yossarian? Their last conversation can't be their debate about what makes a long life, because Yossarian is in that scene--unless the two conversations/arguments take place on the same day in the same bar gathering. But even so, it is stated on the outline that it's not too long before Clevinger's disappearance, which I think is fucked up. I mean:

“You’re inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age? […] Zip! They go rocketing by so fast. How the hell else are you ever going to slow time down?” Dunbar was almost angry when he finished. “Well, maybe it is true,” Clevinger conceded unwillingly in a subdued tone. “Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it’s to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?”

I gotta get this off my chest before the show comes out lol.

The pitch: it's 2025 and the version of The Shards that Bret published in-universe is being made into a show/film. No one (except for his now ex partner) believes he actually killed Robert, they have no reason to think it was anything other than sensationalism to sell the novel - though there was a huge debate about just how tasteless the narrative was, given those things really happened.

Like with the original novel, everyone is a thinly veiled homage to their real-world counterpart (plus some narrative embellishments):

Robert is being played by the grandson of a fictional 80s movie star and Bret thinks he's gorgeous. Once again, he's tragically heterosexual.

Bret is being played by an east-coast fashionista who thinks Bret is gorgeous, leaving him to deal with the moral ramifications of sleeping with someone who 1. Looks like him as a teenager, 2. Is playing him as a teenager, 3. Is barely older than a teenager.

The young lady playing Susan reminds Bret so much of his high school best friend he, Bojack Horseman style, finds himself blurring the lines between things he told Susan and things he's told the actress.

Terry is being played by Bret's new partner, something he thought he'd be totally fine with until he sees it on screen and suddenly the exceedingly handsome, almost-age-appropriate guy he thought he was falling in love with makes him feel sick.

There's a copy-cat killer on the loose in LA, attempting to recreate the MO of The Trawler, and Bret feels at least partially responsible due to writing the book that launched The Trawler back into public consciousness.

He still feels like he's being haunted by Robert Mallory. He still is being haunted by Matt Kellner (at least, the version of Matt Kellner he's created in his head).

The actress playing Debbie goes missing, but turns out she's just staying with the real Debbie, who gives Bret a piece of her mind about his book.

Ultimately, in a Twin Peaks homage, Bret ends up killing the actor playing Robert, as he suspects he found out that Bret also really killed Mallory forty years ago.

the yellow wallpaper (1892) - charlotte perkins gilman

quote from the prelude to "sleep" performed during my chemical romance's "long live the black parade" tour

the stained glass screens in a few shows during renege era is so special to me

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