“bits to use in everyday conversations”
[ID copied from alt:
this is and all of the following images are of instagram comments by various users. 1: ""We heard you the first time" when someone sneezes twice" 2: "Saying "there's no way to know" in response to questions with objective answers"
"Yeah just wherever is fine" if someone drops something while trying to hand it to you
Walking past professional photographer taking photos of other people "want me to get one with all of you?" Have not gotten a laugh from this one yet.
1: "Whenever I see a newborn baby l'll ask "How old?" and when the parent responds with X amount of months, I'll say "Oh, still under warranty". Gets em every time." 2: "I've started doing this bit where I say something weird and when someone calls me on it I say "that doesn't sound like something l'd say""
1: "Whenever someone can't find an item, ask "want me to call it?" Regardless of whether or not it can receive a phone call" 2: "big fan of "it's sad but it had to happen" to things that very much didn't need to happen. someone drops something and it breaks? it's sad but it had to happen."
"Still got it!" after I do something super easy. End ID]
