evil bitches only

off to see an evil chiropractor and evil massage therapist because my throne made of a thousand skulls has lots of weird bumps from the craniums and jawbones and it's really fucking up my evil spine

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

They tried to execute me yesterday but my ass was too fat to fit in the electric chair so they just told me to promise I'd stop posting stupid shit. Which I obviously did not agree to.

My parasite says i cant do that anymore sorry

My parasite says i have to go

age regressing by 5 minutes so i can remember what i was just asked to do

I know why I do it, but it's still funny

it is so hard being the single mother of 48 hanging skulls do you even understand that.

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this