Yayyyyy

So fucking metal holy shit

"like a boss" by lonely island was released ten thousand years ago when mammoths still roamed the big wide world. feel old yet?

what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward

prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom

thank you for coming to my this #mythis

fonts will be named shit like viscera antique, 16 bit dreams, doctor's orders, bingo condensed, googly, wish you were here

imho when you have 200,000,000 olfactory receptors and perceive the world predominantly by smell you probably don’t have to press your cold wet nose directly against my bare skin to get a good whiff of where I’ve been

Girls cause less trouble (because you manipulate them emotionally more), and boys are easier to raise (because you get to emotionally neglect them) 😊

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

they need to come up with more words like necrosis and miasma and mausoleum and cadaver and morose and decrepit and stuff like that just so metal bands can expand their vocabulary

had a beautiful moment of connection. my 14 month old neice was pointing at my beverage and looking like she expected something, so I said “yes baby, this is mugs zero sugar root beer. very good, baby.” but she just jabbed her finger more insistently, and went ‘woof wooof woof’. and this is when I looked closer and saw the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. I almost teared up. I said, “yes baby, that’s the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. woof woof woof. I love you small baby.”

it's not clitor-YOU, it's clitor-US. take my hand.

Nobody likes my clit post it's just clitorme against the world :'(