slight judgement zone

Quick, prove you were raped so you can access an abortion! How? I don’t know! Maybe you’ll have to get a rape test done at the hospital and prove you have sufficient bruising? Maybe it’ll require filing charges? Maybe it’ll require a full ass criminal trial which is gonna take longer than 9 months, lol.

Prove you were a victim of incest! How? I don’t know, because if you’re a victim of incest you might very well be a young child who doesn’t have the emotional strength and knowledge to even describe the abuse that’s happening to you, let alone advocate for your rights. And even if you are an adult, I dare you to go in front of a judge and detail the sexual abuse from you brother/father/uncle and come out of that untraumatised, all to get permission to have access to abortion. Make sure you get the courage up in just a few weeks!

What about threats to life of the mother exceptions? Quick! What’s the line you draw there? If a mother has extremely high blood pressure and diabetes and is at risk of death early enough in the pregnancy, is that enough for a termination? What about if the mother has an ectopic pregnancy? Or do we have to wait until the mother is suffering from sepsis and shock, blood poisoning maybe? Do mental health issues ever factor in?

It is literally impossible to place such restrictions on abortion that actually work, that are feasible and acceptable to those that would otherwise ban abortions outright.

Dear Care and Feeding,

I am shocked by a recent revelation about my 13-year-old son, “Luke.” His school gave all the kids laptops at the beginning of the year to complete schoolwork and attend remote classes. Students are expected to only use the computer for academic purposes, but of course kids will be kids. When my son’s school called me about what they found on his computer, however, it was beyond what I could’ve imagined. Apparently, Luke has been watching horrifying pornography involving necrophilia, as well as pornographic snuff films. I know that kids his age are often fascinated by sex, but there’s a huge difference to me between a teen watching a video of consenting adults having sex and them watching a video where someone defiles a corpse or is killed during sex. It’s hard to look at him the same way after I found this out. I asked him about it, and he says he came across these videos accidentally. However, I don’t believe that because the school explained that his internet browsing history showed that he was actively searching for this type of content on online search engines. It seems highly abnormal for a teen to be watching videos like this, and I’m worried about the impact they’ll have on him. I’m honestly considering sending him to a therapist, but my husband thinks that’s too extreme. What should I do about my son’s disturbing pornography habit?

Horrified in Houston

Dear Horrified,

Your son’s porn viewing habits could have gotten him in a lot of trouble at school; perhaps your husband will consider this when you reintroduce the conversation about therapy—as you should. The internet is filled with lots of shocking sexual content for unsupervised kids to discover, but your young son has managed to find—and to repeatedly seek out—images that are incredibly disturbing and difficult to process, even for adults. Therapy is not “too extreme” an option; it’s, in my opinion, an urgent and necessary one. Your son needs healthy ways to explore his budding sexuality; consuming snuff films could not be any further from that. It’s important that you get your son to someone who can help him to contextualize and move on from this interest into something more age-appropriate. I don’t think the two of you should be expected to know how to do that without the help of a professional. Please don’t take this lightly. Wishing you all the best.

How long would this have gone on if the school did discover it? Why weren’t they doing basic search history? Is he an only child in that house or does he have a sister?

She should have called him out about lying about how he came across it by accident.

Women have been a leading force in sanitation strikes, calling for equal treatment and job security. This particular service industry has been the focus of multiple feminist manifestos and employment goals. Women fought long and hard to gain the right to work in sanitation, and they’re continuing that effort to open up the field more. This issue is so big that Parks and Rec even made an episode about it. 

Female sewer workers have repeatedly sued the DEP for unfair treatment, seeking to open up the industry and gain equal status with their male peers. Sewer work is often targeted for its biased hiring practices. Hundreds of female candidates fight for limited available positions, but most are turned away, despite having the necessary experience and skills. Feminist workers recognize that these women are willing and able to do the work, but aren’t getting the opportunity to gain employment here. 

Historically, coal mining is one of the most highly targeted careers for gender bias. Women have been petitioning for the opportunity to mine safely since the Industrial Revolution. This is actually one of the primary and best studied examples of women fighting to enter traditionally male fields. Lots of women, who both succeeded in the mines and didn’t, continue to petition for increased access to this field. 

And yeah, women want white collar jobs too. Go figure - A diverse population of women, with different abilities, interests and levels of education, are all fighting for the right to seek diverse forms of employment. Fighting for equality in one sphere doesn’t mean that we’ve forgotten about the others. 

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

I actually didn't attend school much beyond sixth grade thanks to abuse and disability. And yes, I actually slept through a lot of the bit I did attend, given how I couldn't sleep at night.

And you know what I love more than being essentially called a freak by own community? Being told that I ought to not be offended because they graciously reclaimed it FOR ME. Thank you so much, I appreciate it so much when you have the audacity to tell me how offensive it is that I don't like being called something that a) means weird/odd/abnormal and b) is still used as a slur today.

It's so wonderful to be told by my community to shut the fuck up about literally being called an abnormality. This is totally not just catholic school all over again.

And the cherry on top is how fantastic it feels to be called queer by straight people because "it's not a slur anymore."

I'm so glad we're taking pride in being othered by straights for something I thought we couldn't control.