for: @urghcsts​​​​ where: one of the many bars in sunset hills

USUALLY PREFERRING TO BE THE CENTER of attention in places like these, soleil lacks the inspiration to make her presence known. instead, she sips absently on a drink some poor sap had given her to vy for her attention. everyone’s so dull, sol’s five seconds away from throwing an internalized tantrum and calling it a night when she spots nathan. she perks up instantly at the sight of her friend, taking her drink with her on the journey to where he stands. “ nathan, ” the redhead greets with a smile, clearly amused, “ you went out tonight and you didn’t even think to tell me ?? ” it’s all in good fun, leaning against the wall to look out at the otherwise bland crowd that showed up. “ have any fun tricks up your sleeve or do we need to make our own fun ?? ”

del: very out of the blue. i think i really fucked up, n.

del: can i come over? watch a movie? smoke?

nathan: really ??

nathan: i mean yea sure i'm not doing anything

daisy: so this is probably weird

daisy: it's definitely weird to come to ur emotional support ex with guy issues, right?

daisy: idk nvm. i miss u. hope ur okay.

nathan: kinda out of the blue i'll say that

grace could feel her heart begin to shatter at the sound of nate’s voice — he sounds so broken , and he doesn’t deserve that kind of pain . naturally she extended an arm out to help him with his balance , all of her focus instantly shifting towards getting him to the couch as easily as they could . “ here , take my hand  “ she presses her fingers to his arm , she wants him to know that she’s here , that she wants to give him exactly what he wants : help . “ see look i’m right here  ,  everything’s gonna be okay  “ she soothes him , now taking both of his hands in hers as she begins to guide him towards a place to sit . she can’t help but notice how cold his skin feels , goosebumps rising down her arms as their fingers grip to one another . “ too much of what ? is it drugs ? or did you have too much to drink ? “ she’s aware he’s had a problem with both , and though her questions might seem invasive at the moment she knows that the context is key to giving him what he needs . with only a few more steps they finally make it to her couch , setting nate down on the closest cushion she can and leaving him to adjust to his surroundings while she runs into the kitchen to get him some water . she returns barely even a minute later , squatting in front of him and resting a hand on his knee while the other , shaking , extends the glass out to him . nothing comes out of her mouth for a moment , all she can do is look at him and think how relieved she was that it was her house he chose to find. “ i have to admit nathan…i don’t have too much experience with this so i need you to help me help you “ the pad of her thumb softly rubs back and forth against his knee , the other hand gently nudging the water towards the direction of his mouth .  drug induced or not , it’s more than obvious nate’s suffering from a panic attack , so she tries to think of what she would want someone to do for her if she were in his shoes . “ do you think maybe a bath and some food will help ? sometimes sitting in the water can help ground you , is that something you think you want right now ?  i’ll even put your clothes in the wash so they can be nice and fresh for you when you get out “  

he  lets  grace  guide  him  through  her  home  ,  hands  clinging  tightly  onto  hers  as  his  feet  move  across  the  floor  .  nathan  didn’t  want  her  to  let  go  .  his  world  felt  like  it  was  shaking  on  its  axis  ,  turning  itself  upside  down  ,  and  she  felt  stable  .  “  i’m  okay  ,  ”  he  finds  himself  repeating  ,  his  head  just  barely  nodding  along  .  saying  it  didn’t  make  him  believe  it  ,  but  the  way  she  said  it  made  him  want  to  .  he  lets  her  lead  him  to  a  couch  and  the  moment  his  back  makes  contact  with  the  cushions  he  sinks  into  their  comfort  .  eyes  shift  left  and  right  —  for  a  moment  he  can’t  even  get  a  single  word  out  .  even  when  his  lips  part  ,  his  throat  constricts  and  a  sound  can’t  slip  through  .  it  takes  seconds  too  long  for  him  to  finally  mutter  out  ,  “  both  .  a  beer  turned  into  two  ,  turned  into  —  into  coke  and  i  couldn’t  stop  myself  .  i  couldn’t  .  i’m  sorry  .  ”  when  she  lets  go  of  his  hands  his  instinctively  reach  out  to  grab  hers  again  .  he  wants  to  tell  her  ‘  don’t  go  ’  because  her  walking  away  isn’t  what  he  needs  .  being  alone  isn’t  what  he  needs  .  and  grace  rushes  off  all  he  can  bring  himself  to  do  his  clench  his  eyes  shut  as  tightly  as  his  fists  .  they  keep  shut  as  her  footsteps  begin  to  echo  in  his  ears  .  despite  knowing  she’s  there  ,  nathan  still  jumps  when  he  feels  a  touch  against  his  knee  .  his  eyes  fly  open  ,  widened  in  shock  —  in  panic  .  if  the  circumstances  were  different  he  would’ve  teased  her  for  the  way   her  hand  was  shaking  but  in  a  world  seemingly  turned  upside  down  ,  he  couldn’t  tell  if  it  was  her  hand  shaking  the  glass  or  his  eyes  .  all  he  can  think  about  is  how  badly  he  needs  to  be  touching  her  ,  in  some  way  ,  any  way  .  so  he  does  .  while  the  glass  presses  against  his  lips  ,  his  own  hand  places  itself  atop  of  hers  .  it  tilts  the  glass  back  just  far  enough  that  water  spills  over  the  brim  and  into  his  mouth  ;  just  a  sip  is  all  he  takes  before  he’s  pushing  the  glass  back  .

" i started watching that dahmer show , y'know the one with evan peters or whatever . that shit is weird as fuck and i'm barely two episodes in but  like  i  guess  that’s  the  whole  point  . "

" just told my brother i thought his baby was cute even though she came out kinda fuckin' ugly . "

" don't tell me i gotta pick just one for each ... shit , i mean i guess for starters i'd fuck — this makes me sound like a fucking tool but i gotta say i'd fuck merrick ( been there done that ) , marry uh ... grace ? and kill murphy just because i don't know the guy . "