attendre de mourir

She has no idea how miserable ive become, I feel like im drowning. I wish she would just talk to me, but shes removed herself entirely from my life and it kills me that the one I once held so close and dear, the one who saved me from the pit I was in is now just gone and I cant bring her back, she won't even let me try. This eternal waiting hurts so badly. I trusted her so much and she lied to me. Alas ill still be here back in this pit and ill wait for what truly makes a man is how strong his love is.

Its my birthday, ill probably make a rant about it later.

Long are the days I cannot return to. Oh how I do miss the sun in all her beauty, but my skin and her rays must never touch again and never will I feel her warm embrace again. The night has turned me into a creature of blood lust and an eternal hunger. Oh how gentle is the night, but oh how I yearn to feel the soft morning again.

In the old house where I once lived, there was a beautiful garden of lily's. Every night id come to the garden to see them and be near to them, just to touch them or even only to see them made all my troubles melt away, but then the storm came. One morning just after I awoke from a most beautiful dream there was storm, I had to run to shelter and hide from the storm, I should have stayed had I known what I was going to lose. The next morning I came out from my shelter and looked upon my once beautiful garden of lily's only to see that they were all gone, ripped from their roots. My everything was gone all within a night, the storm should have taken me too.

I wish I was good at something

From my light house it appears as if the world has ended. I have seen no one for months, not even a single ship. I eat from my small garden and drink from the rain ever since my water filter broke. The storms are constant and most nights never ending with roaring thunder and violent waves crashing upon my tower walls. Its been some time since I have eaten, many of my vegetables have began to rot, something wrong with the soil. I think im beginning to become ill. My coughs have become more vicious and violent some instances ive had blood come from my throat. I dont think ill last much longer, I pulled myself to the railing of the light house to get one last look upon the beautiful ocean underneath the blue moon. It was here my final resting place when I saw it, the first boat ive seen in two years.

Upon death now I stare as an infant stares upon a mother's face. Death standing before me beckoned with her gray finger to move closer, but I could not, see I was still so young only 24 or was it 26 I cannot recall now but I know that I am still young so how dare she beckon me now when I still have so much to do. I feel a force pull me toward her but I refuse to move, but my feet pull me toward her and I cannot stop them. I feel this cold air brush against my cheek and then it is over just like that all my years are gone the life that was once so lived is now gone but deaths embrace is gentle and sweet and I feel myself fall into her soft arms and I can finally close my heavy eyes.