The Inner Machinations of My Mind Are An Enigma

I have created a Discord server to, well, do what is in the title of this post. Please join to support this movement, and please reblog for reach. I will not be able to do this on my own.

I have found that many people who have not had a trans female or trans feminine experience often have trouble wrapping their brains around the concept of trans-misogyny, so I will offer the following two anecdotes to help illustrate what I mean by the term. Once, about two years ago, I was walking down the street in San Francisco, and a trans woman happened to be walking just ahead of me. She was dressed femininely, but not any more feminine than a typical cis woman. Two people, a man and a woman, were sitting on a doorstep, and as the trans woman walked by, the man turned to the woman he was sitting next to and said, “Look at all the shit he’s wearing,” and the woman he was with nodded in agreement. Now presumably the word “shit” was a reference to femininity — specifically, the feminine clothing and cosmetics the trans woman wore. I found this particular comment to be quite telling. After all, while cis women often receive harassing comments from strange men on the street, it is rather rare for those men to address those remarks to a female acquaintance and for her to apparently approve of his remarks. Furthermore, if this same man were to have harassed a cis woman, it is unlikely that he would do so by referring to her feminine clothing and makeup as “shit.” Similarly, someone who is on the trans masculine spectrum could potentially be harassed, but it is unlikely that his masculine clothing would be referred to as “shit.” Thus, trans-misogyny is both informed by, yet distinct from, transphobia and misogyny, in that it specifically targets transgender expressions of femaleness and femininity.

The second example of trans-misogyny that I’d like to share occurred at an Association for Women in Psychology conference I attended in 2007 (for those unfamiliar with that organization, it is essentially a feminist psychology conference). One psychologist gave a presentation on the ways in which feminism has informed her approach to therapy. During the course of her talk, she discussed two transgender clients of hers, one on the trans male/masculine spectrum, the other on the trans female/feminine spectrum. Their stories were very similar in that both had begun the process of physically transitioning but were having second thoughts about it. First, the therapist discussed the trans masculine spectrum person, whose gender presentation she described simply as being “very butch.” She discussed this individual’s transgender expressions and issues in a respectful and serious manner, and the audience listened attentively. However, when she turned her attention to the trans feminine client, she went into a very graphic and animated description of the trans person’s appearance, detailing how the trans woman’s hair was styled, the type of outfit and shoes she was wearing, the way her makeup was done, and so on. This description elicited a significant amount of giggling from the audience, which I found to be particularly disturbing given the fact that this was an explicitly feminist conference. Clearly, if a male psychologist gave a talk at this meeting in which he went into such explicit detail regarding what one of his cis female clients was wearing, most of these same audience members, as well as the presenter, would surely (and rightfully) be appalled and would view such remarks to be blatantly objectifying. In fact, in both of these incidents I have described, comments that would typically be considered extraordinarily misogynistic if they were directed at cis women are not considered beyond the pale when directed at trans women.

I was told that when I came out everyone would reject me. That I would find myself isolated from the world, and from other women especially, who would react to me with horror and revulsion.

In reality, within the first months of coming out, in no particular order:

My sister's reaction on my coming out was, "Right, so I have a sister instead of a brother. Cool. I'm taking you clothes shopping tomorrow."

A friend, when she learned I am a woman, immediately invited me to her women-only, girls-night-out birthday party the following week.

Another friend, when a friend of hers expressed doubts about my gender, immediately shut them down and reaffirmed I am a woman.

I went camping with a group of friends, and we had two tents, one for the boys and one for the girls; I was unsure as to which I should enter, to which a girl friend responded by grabbing me and physically dragging me inside the women's tent.

In the women's bathroom at a movie theatre a random woman, whom I'd never seen before and haven't seen since, stopped me as I was going into a stall, to warn me there was no toilet paper in there, because she'd just used the last of it.

All of these, and more, some from friends, some from complete strangers. All within a few months, as a trans woman who hadn't started medical transition yet, and was very visible as being a trans woman.

I've had some people reject me, true, but the vast majority, including almost all cis women, accepted me as a sister with open arms.

I know of only two intersex communities that are social clubs (i.e. communities with organized events that are NOT support groups, nor political advocacy groups).

InterPlay - intersex gaming community. 🎮️🎲 Does weekly livestreams & group gaming events. Active since April 2020. Perisex allies & questioners welcome. Discord invite: https://discord.gg/yEm8v8g9tw

Intersex Book Club - intersex book club. 📚️ Meets monthly to talk about books with intersex characters/themes, usually by intersex authors. Active since June 2023. Perisex allies & questioners welcome. Discord invite: https://discord.gg/T5SarSKtBe

You'll have a hard time finding this in the news because it's being covered up, but from February 4-present the RCMP have been conducting raids on multiple Mi'kmaw reserves part of Acadia First Nation. Their excuse is that they are searching for illegal cannabis.

During the raids, so far they:

Stole a number of truck houses

Stole money from an 8-yo boy's piggy-bank that he had been saving for two years

Invaded homes and destroyed personal property, including basketwork and carvings

Broke the door down of a bathroom occupied by a 14-yo boy as he was using it - the boy has been traumatized by this

Assaulted a man for questioning why they were searching his property without providing a warrant, pinning him into the snow

Cut power of security cameras to hide these actions

I cannot stress enough that the RCMP coming down this hard on our people over motherfucking cannabis is nothing but a racist excuse. There are countless, countless, countless white-owned massive grow-ops making big money without cops lifting a single finger.

There is an informal petition you can sign here.

Intersex people are also impacted by anti-trans legislation, but too often we are the unmentioned casualties.

We are constantly caught in the crossfire of culture wars or used as the “gotcha” moment in arguments to uplift others’ humanity, even as the painful discrimination our community faces—and the authentic beauty of our presence—remains hidden in plain sight.