♤ King of Spades ♤

my promising gardening career was cut short when i was mauled by a rampaging basil plant

you can use this handy mnemonic to remember the planets of the solar system

mercury penus gearth cars wupiter caturn shuranus weptune iluto wluto mluto bluto aluto rluto bluto pluto

did you knowwwwww that when you are fat you still deserve dignity, respect, and privacy? yeah, at any weight. yeah, regardless of what made you fat. yeah, regardless of how long you've been fat. yeah, I know, it's crazy. wild.

When I got my first debit account (I was 19 and this occurred during COVID, if that adds any additional context), I had no clue what ‘cash back’ meant, I thought it was ‘cash back’ in the loyalty rewards way, I was curious about the ‘DO YOU WANT CASH BACK?’ screen with all the pre-programmed money amounts. Instead of looking it up, I clicked the $20 option at Food Lion one day and I was completely astounded when the cashier pulled a $20 out of the cash register and went to hand it to me. This is the opposite of the natural order of things. The cashier was the same age as me and visibly baked so for a fraction of a second, I was wondering if our wires got crossed somehow. I just stood there for a moment staring at him in confusion while he stared at me in confusion. Then, I took the $20 and gathered up my groceries and left. Luckily, $20 didn’t put me into overdraft. No harm done, just a very embarrassing moment. Anyway, if someone comes into your retail job behaving like it is their first day on earth, it is probably because they feel like it is their first day on earth. We’re all just trying to figure this bullshit out. Amen.

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

Ok I'll bite. you are bleeding now

cheers, mate.

@official-penis-posts

SOMEONE Needs to volunteer to create an official-balls-posts!

Yaaass @official-balls-posts!!!

this works btw. i literally managed to use this to rail against class discrimination when i worked in retail. boss said "don't give the bathroom code or unlock anything for homeless people". i said "can you put it in writing that you want me to ask customers about their housing status, or whichever criteria you're using to tell at a glance?" the issue never came up again, and that one wasn't even a potential sexual harassment suit. if you are cis you should absolutely do this.

Anyway adults saying “I don’t know isn’t an answer” is part of the reason I learned to lie and bluff so well.

Really though, what was that about? I don’t know is a valid answer. It communicates very clearly that the child cannot answer your question, and therefore maybe needs more help understanding the question/situation. Why do you try and push them to give an answer they don’t have? That stresses them out and it makes them feel like they’re being punished for not knowing something.

i thought i was the only one with an “i don’t know” problem because my parents made it seem it was the strangest and also most horrible thing in the world. i genuinely didn’t know and they got angry and that only blocked my thoughts more which meant i didn’t know the answer to anything else.

THIS ^^^

Also “I don’t know” is a commonly used sentence for children with ADHD/Autism. We DON’T know why we can’t do our homework. We DON’T know why we can’t eat certain foods sometimes. We DON’T know why we forgot to do a chore. It’s really distressing when you genuinely don’t know and people think you’re just lying or indifferent

You just hate me because the patterns on my clothes move around like they do on chowder and yours don’t

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

Genuinely how do people think that it's okay to request stuff like this?? I get that the internet is an echo chamber but if you think that asking for this is okay then you need a serious reality check. So sorry to op that you had to put up with this kind of nonsense >:/

House of the Dragon is a funny example where a popular ship between a woman and her step-mom is significantly less incestuous than the canonical relationships on the show. Like the same woman and her husband who's also her uncle.

Or I guess (spoiler alert) the step-mom and her biological son.

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

why would i do that lmao

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

i don't know why i thought weird al yankovic transitioned i fully thought she was a woman now i was pretty stunned this morning to look on wikipedia and discover otherwise

everyones gotta stop reblogging this bro they're gonna find it and get so mad they try to strangle me again

the sign in button?