seek knowledge

for one it’s the first time i get to see my favorite musical live, so of course im really excited

and for two, ever since this guy told me they would do heathers, every time i listen to a song from the soundtrack i start getting nervous about seeing my friend sing it with all its emotion and falling a little in love.

i’ve struggled with it my whole life. i hate taking up space and i have hated my body for a long time. being told i should stand straight because ill look confident or ill show off my chest or its healthier or any of that just makes me feel worse. but seeing these guys and thinking about the concept of “lines” in figure skating, and how they turn their posture and flexibility into feats that are both athletic and artistic has actually inspired me.

i see them and i think i want to look like that not because they’re tall or confident but because it’s beautiful. and not in a “i’m attracted to them and want others to feel attracted to me” way but in a. “wow the human body can be beautiful” way.

i’ve always hated it also. and once again adults have tried to motivate me mostly through fear-mongering about my health or appearance, which simply does not work.

i had already started to motivate myself through the wish of feeling in control of my own body. that’s something i deeply admire about actors and dancers, the control they seem to have. however i was missing a small connection between that and the fact that you need Strength and Athleticism to have that control, not just practice. and i never really learned that until i learned about the scores in figure skating and how Junhwan or Donovan and other skaters’ performances are often undervalued. particularly in how figure skaters are not arbitrarily awarded points for a subjective artistic value to their programs. instead they are (or should be) awarded points when their performance is beautiful Because that beauty requires so much strength and flexibility. it’s inherent to the sport.

actually Prof C Thi Nguyen explains it well in CJ the X’s most recent video (though in the context of rock climbing)

so now even though i’m nowhere near looking that elegant with my own movements i have an actual immediate goal. something to appreciate about exercising that feels real WHILE im doing it, instead of some abstract thought about how “eventually i’ll have more energy” or whatever.

i’ve struggled with it my whole life. i hate taking up space and i have hated my body for a long time. being told i should stand straight because ill look confident or ill show off my chest or its healthier or any of that just makes me feel worse. but seeing these guys and thinking about the concept of “lines” in figure skating, and how they turn their posture and flexibility into feats that are both athletic and artistic has actually inspired me.

i see them and i think i want to look like that not because they’re tall or confident but because it’s beautiful. and not in a “i’m attracted to them and want others to feel attracted to me” way but in a. “wow the human body can be beautiful” way.

i’ve always hated it also. and once again adults have tried to motivate me mostly through fear-mongering about my health or appearance, which simply does not work.

i had already started to motivate myself through the wish of feeling in control of my own body. that’s something i deeply admire about actors and dancers, the control they seem to have. however i was missing a small connection between that and the fact that you need Strength and Athleticism to have that control, not just practice. and i never really learned that until i learned about the scores in figure skating and how Junhwan or Donovan and other skaters’ performances are often undervalued. particularly in how figure skaters are not arbitrarily awarded points for a subjective artistic value to their programs. instead they are (or should be) awarded points when their performance is beautiful Because that beauty requires so much strength and flexibility. it’s inherent to the sport.

actually Prof C Thi Nguyen explains it well in CJ the X’s most recent video (though in the context of rock climbing)

so now even though i’m nowhere near looking that elegant with my own movements i have an actual immediate goal. something to appreciate about exercising that feels real WHILE im doing it, instead of some abstract thought about how “eventually i’ll have more energy” or whatever.

i’ve struggled with it my whole life. i hate taking up space and i have hated my body for a long time. being told i should stand straight because ill look confident or ill show off my chest or its healthier or any of that just makes me feel worse. but seeing these guys and thinking about the concept of “lines” in figure skating, and how they turn their posture and flexibility into feats that are both athletic and artistic has actually inspired me.

i see them and i think i want to look like that not because they’re tall or confident but because it’s beautiful. and not in a “i’m attracted to them and want others to feel attracted to me” way but in a. “wow the human body can be beautiful” way.