Over 6 foot

Australian

Smokes weed

Likes ketchup

Smokes cigarettes

Likes to climb

Strips naked 24/7

Snorts corn chips

Pops bouncy castles

Is named Mason

It’s Mason Bradford

I want to see how many true fans are here. 

Child: doesnt want to spend time with them afterwards

Parent:

Child:*doesn’t want to admit their mistakes and starts keeping secrets from their parent*

Parent:

child: *doesn’t talk to parents about their issues and feels worse*

parent:

Child: *actively avoids academic achievement and becomes an atheist*

Parent:

Child: *never tells the parents about how they feel or their personal insecurities*

Parent:

Me:

Me:

Me:

me:

jay singing and racc playing the guitar; making a song together.

soft racc

“Hey Google, what do you feed a raccoon to make them leave you alone?”

Ezra stood looking out his glass door. Staring deep into the eyes of the fiends on the other side.

“Raccoons will eat almost anything, but are particularly fond of creatures found in water. Raccoons also eat insects, slugs, and dead animals. As well as fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds. Around humans, raccoons often eat garbage and pet food.”

That was the only information he needed. Unfortunately, he has no animals so no pet food. And he’s not one to cook, so he doesn’t have anything else on that list either.

But he couldn’t just leave them there hungry in the middle of the night! It was a mother with two babies!

So Ezra searched the pantry for something he was willing to give up. Then realized he couldn’t give anything up so he took some pretzels and some Goldfish to the beggars out back.

It was like their beady eyes lit up at the boxes that they deemed too familiar. He put some handfuls of each snack on a dish and very carefully slid it outside and closed the door. Meanwhile, his search history was clouded with questions about raccoons. Even though the rodent was his trademark, he knew nothing about them.

Raccoons wash their food in water due to lack of saliva.

So like a responsible raccoon owner he slid a bowl of water as to them well. Warm water at that because it was cold. For the most part they played in the water, but it did make him feel better that he practically saved this family.

After a while of writing some notes down, he fell asleep watching them play in the water and eat pretzels.

He woke up as per usual, but something inside reminded him of his new friends and irked him outside. They were gone and the food was as well but something inside promised him they would be back.

Ezra was messing around with the plants on his porch. Whistling a small tune while enjoying his scenery. He sat down and admired his now organized patio when he heard something fall from his shed.

“Are they back?” He asked himself not wanted to admit he had not hated the raccoons but he knew they were ‘rodents’.

To his confusion, there was only one raccoon. One of the babies from last night. He looked skittish and weary. He crawled over to the empty bowl then to Ezra, motioning he was hungry.

Ezra filled the bowl with some marshmallows and the baby happily munched away on the sugary substance.

While admiring the baby raccoon, a bird flew to his bird feeder. Nothing very interesting as birds flew by all the time. He looked up to see a nicely colored bird seemingly unaware of Ezra’s presence.

He looked back down at the bowl but heard rapid fluttering. Then felt something on top of his head.

In disbelief, he was stone cold and still. Slowly reaching up to his head to feel for something, and felt exactly what he thought. The bird. He felt the soft feathers and was concerned of how cold the feathered creature was. He looked in a small mirror the bird nestled in his unkempt fluffy hair. Putting two and two together realizing the bird was using his hair as a makeshift nest.

In the colder months it was understandable because life is a bit more difficult for those who don’t migrate.

He never had a personal vendetta against the birds, and the one atop his head was being an angel, so he let it be. Watching the raccoon in hopes of his mother would come to pick him up from ‘daycare’.