the best goddamn bird lawyer in the world

armand in ohio: Hey guys when you say AA is for the alcoholics and the addicts can you include me in that as well? The alcoholics, the addicts, and Armand if it's not too much trouble thanks guys

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

Mondays aren't that bad once you cannot tell days apart from eachother

how much does the aurora borealis weigh

it's pretty light

no, i don’t watch that show, but i do follow its developments extensively via tumblr

my moroccan friend is stuck in the deportation center (hard to talk abt so dont ask me) and we're trying 2 get them out but at the same time theyre trying to organize help for a libyan queer person they met in there lol i really admire this kind of person like using their limited time on the phone to also try to arrange help for someone else. id like to think i would act the same way if i were ever imprisoned but who knows. hoping to not find out but you know how life is

okay im gonna hypnotize you with my ruby amulet now DONT BE WEIRD ABOUT IT. im doing this to make you betray the king. IT IS NOT A SEX THING

I think the fact that you immediately thought about clarifying it’s not a sex thing kinda makes it sound like it is a sex thing.

FOOL. i would be using my sex amulet for that