the best goddamn bird lawyer in the world

The situation in Gaza is dire due to shortages of food, medicine, and medical equipment. Hundreds of thousands of wounded and sick people are suffering because of the siege, and my father is one of them. He suffers from many problems: arteriosclerosis, high blood pressure, back pain, and cancer. My father is fighting for his life under the siege and the lack of all medical supplies. I don't want to see my father die before my eyes because of this.

I'm trying desperately to get my father out of this hell and to get my whole family out of here, but I can't do it alone. I need your help. Please donate to us. I swear your donations are what give us hope to survive and fight for our lives. I beg you to donate now.

I will not stop trying, even though I see dreams shattered before my eyes. The immense pressure I'm under to save my loved ones is overwhelming. I truly need every dollar you can give. Please, please, please donate.

And in every possible iteration he would have a rival named Kevin Eleven.

joke i like to make when a baby is crying in public is “we’ve all been there.” We literally have

Incredibly charming to think about the translation assumptions around profanity being made by Dr. Ryland "what the fudging fudger" Grace and Rocky "everyone agrees he is swearing up a storm" the Eridian. What a beautiful duo to make first contact.

They ALMOST clear it up one day when Rocky asks Grace "What is fudge question?" but tragically the answer "Oh, it's a kind of food" sounds appropriately vulgar to Eridian sensibilities, setting them back months on realizing the misunderstanding.

*forgets that you kissed my forehead*

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

If my father dies, please remember that I begged you for a small donation or to share my post. I will not forgive anyone who sees this post and doesn't support me with a single word or a small donation, and ignores me.

I write these words with tears in my eyes, overwhelmed with fear for my father. He has been suffering excruciating pain and repeated fainting spells for the past week due to his cancer, and he cannot afford all the medications he needs because of their high cost. All I wish is that nothing bad happens to my father again, so I implore you to support me and help me buy his medications, cover his hospital stay, and get him the necessary surgeries as soon as possible. Please, be our support.

Worse still, my father suffers from blocked arteries and heart attacks, and he urgently needs surgery to remove the cancer and have stents implanted in his coronary arteries. Throughout this time, my father has been in constant pain. His surgery is extremely expensive, and I don't have enough money for it. Now he can't sleep because of the excruciating pain, and we can't afford his medications and painkillers to alleviate his suffering because of their high prices. I don't know what to do!

We need your help to relieve my father's pain and cancerous tumor and save him as quickly as possible. Please, I don't want to lose him before my eyes. Help me raise the money for his medication and surgery as soon as possible. Please stand by me. Look what's happening to us.

Please help my dear friend Nader and his father. He desperately needs money to buy his father's medicine and painkillers. No one should have to endure such excruciating pain for so long. Please grant him relief from his suffering. Help him survive this genocide.

Please help and donate to Nader

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

hello 👋 i am the worlds smallest bug 🐛 and ☝️ i too would like to “fag it up” if i may