the best goddamn bird lawyer in the world

mickey 17 presents the ultimate horror question: what if you wanted to fuck your clone but your clone didn’t want to fuck you?

Pulitzer Prize type shit

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for an amazing reason

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

There are many people who don’t share this sentiment, but I have an appreciation for when a fanfic is so separated from canon that it could’ve easily been its own original novel, and yet the author was only ever going to put that much energy into it if their favourite characters got to be there

I think there’s a difference between “the author stripped the media of everything it had to replace it with something easy” and “the author thought up a concept they really really like and are bestowing it upon the character like a medal”

it's the opposite of sanding off the serial numbers. like you really invented a brand-new AU just to put your blorbos in. you built an entire world just for them to play in. it's like rat park but for blorbos. i love you so much i invented whole new situations just for you. beautiful

you are NOT immune to cunty little detective. at some point in your life your brain will be taken over by a fictional detective and there’s nothing you can do about it. it WILL happen to you. you might even end up transgender about it

had a couple people be like "i have no idea what this means" so to clarify: the word penis in latin originally meant tail and only later got the sense of, uh. penis. so this is cicero complaining that nowadays all these hooligans are using the word "penis" for naughty purposes