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Alvin is a raging narcissist and Simon and Theo are held back from their musical potential because of misplaced fraternal loyalty. It is no secret in the industry that Theo's vocals and Simon's lyricism carry the group but Alvin's attention-seeking behavior was exploited by their agent
this is a DEEPLY unfair interpretation of their musical identity that valorizes public scrutiny teebeeache. There’s an urge towards overcorrection amongst critical voices that can identify the undervaluation of Theo and Simon as contributors and subsequently develop a narrative of antagonism between them and their frontman and to some extent that’s understandable, given how big his little shadow is. but the group has always been structured around performance and spectacle in a way that greatly benefits from the strong identity and stage presence granted by such a large personality
It only took 2 seconds on your blog for me to know I could dismiss everything you said. For those who don't know, red icons are a dogwhistle for crypto-Alvinists who, as we saw from the AatC Midwest Fan discord, sought to sow mistrust in the fandom by insisting on "nuance" while secretly attempting to downplay Alvin's public scandals and shit-talking Simon and Theo.
Tell me this, if the group "benefits" from the strong identity, why is it Alvin has to contractually bar Theo and Simon from pursuing solo careers? Why did he veto the proposed name change to "The Chipmunks" in 2013? Hell, if this is all about the group, as you claim, why is it that Alvin features on 67% of all AatC merch while only making up 31% of overall merch sales (and, as if the stats following his disgusting behavior during the 2022 Oscars is to be believed, dropping lower and lower to even 26%)? Admit it, Dave Seville's excuse that Alvin's presence adds any kind of shine to the group is a transparent lie to conceal the fact that Alvin's disastrous public life makes for cheap sales boosts.
It always comes down to the personal attacks with the separatists! as if red isn’t at the core of not only the debut album’s visual identity but also thematically relevant throughout the whole project… but once someone has a favorite they start thinking everyone else must also be projecting signatures and solo-fan lockdowns onto their Chipmate accounts.
anyway solos love to bring up A’s “behavioral issues” as if he didn’t spend half of last year absent from promotions trying to smooth over T’s violent confrontation with the paps. (which, because I’m an actual Chipmate, I would never turn into some theo hate train. this is what I’m saying, the scrutiny and narrativization of their project has created the justification to infringe on their personal lives in a way that keeps getting cyclically encouraged by people who are in it for the sport and moral victories, not the actual music or the art. I think we can all agree that the real villain is the exploitation of their passion for the craft that roped them into a lifetime commitment to careers they were not prepared for and they literally cannot escape 😕)
That is not even fucking true? I shared ONE Theo/OC fic in the Theo Chipmates Discord and the author happened to have also written Thimon WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. I made this very clear (with receipts!) in the Google doc. This is yet another example of a transparent smear campaign against Alvin-critical fans. A patently hypocritical act, BTW, given that you guys are literally constantly shipping Alvincest
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i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”
Happy Dreamling day! Do we think that even when they see each other all the time they make a Date of the 7th June every year?
I would love it so much if they do 🥹 I'm a big fan of Hob choosing June 7th as his birthday OR Retired!Dream choosing it for his birthday. It would be so cute if they celebrate together. Or, just them considering June 7th as their anniversary, and spending the day together.
June 7th being THEIR day, the day where they devote time to their friendship, is just really lovely and I can completely imagine it. Maybe they go feed the birds together. Or have a movie marathon. Just cute, soft things.
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Hob finds himself in quite the predicament.
Fortunately, he has an attentive boyfriend.
Word Count: 3,574
Notes
It was Cheshire_Childe's idea to have a sequel where it's Dream who rescues Hob <3
Although, um, this kinda devolved into 90% smut and 10% rescue but I hope you all still like it!
Happy Dreamling Day :) 🖤🤎
Rating: Explicit
<- Part 1
[Read on AO3]
---
Hob pushes the back door open with his shoulder as he carries out the garbage bags to the bins outside.
It's a busy night at The New Inn, as Fridays often are, and he decided to help around a bit before going up to his flat. He puts the bags in the bin and brushes off his hands, and he's about to head back inside when he notices a van parked on the side of the road. A very troubled looking man is crouched down next to it and inspecting the tires.
Hob walks over to see what the problem is. It's past 10 PM now and not many cabs are passing by, if this man can't get his tires fixed tonight, maybe Hob can offer him a room at the Inn.
"Hello, mate," Hob says as he approaches so as not to startle the man. "Flat tire?"
The man turns to him and smiles sheepishly. "Looks like it. I haven't brought a spare, and my son's usually the one who changes the tires." He stands up and scratches his head.
"Mind if I have a look?" Hob offers. "I think I have a spare tire in my car, we can see if it works for your van."
"Thanks, mate, I appreciate it." The man steps back and gestures to his van.
"I haven't done anything yet," Hob smiles and walks closer.
"No, you've done enough."
Hob frowns at the man in confusion, then he hears a rustling sound behind him.
He moves to turn, but something blunt and heavy hits the back of his head and he drops to the ground.
Idiot, is the last thought in his mind before he slips into darkness.
—
The first thing Hob registers when his consciousness begins to come back is that his hands are tied behind him. Then he realises that he's blindfolded too, and his heart begins to race as he feels the nausea of an oncoming panic attack.
The last time he was in a situation like this, he ended up thrown in a river, dying and coming back for what felt like countless times until he washed ashore.
He forces himself to mentally count to ten as he gathers his senses.
He feels the rumbling of an engine beneath him, the leather seats, the smell of a car freshener. He's lying down in the back of a vehicle.
The van. That bloke he tried to help with a supposedly flat tire.
A surge of annoyance dissolves what remaining fear he had. He doesn't know why he got kidnapped, but experiencing several wars firsthand and having recently been dating the King of Dreams and Nightmares—and befriending several of those nightmares—had rather raised the bar for what could really scare him.
That thought gives him an idea.
Dream? he thinks. He's never tried contacting Dream telepathically before, but he knows that his boyfriend can hear daydreams. Hopefully he would recognise Hob's thoughts. Dream, are you there? I'm tied up and blindfolded in the back of a van and I'm not sure where we're going, but they took me from the Inn.
He waits for several seconds, but nothing happens. Not even a whisper of a response. Dream did say back then that he deliberately blocks himself off from hearing Hob's dreams and daydreams to give him privacy. Hob sighs internally. He never thought such a thing would work against him.
He's on his own, then. That's fine, he's gotten himself out of countless scrapes before.
A quiet conversation starts at the front of the van, and he strains his ears to hear the voices.
"You're sure he's the one, right?" The voice sounds like the guy that Hob had spoken to.
"Yeah, he definitely looks like the soldier in those old war photos," answers a gruff voice. "And I told you that that friend of his at the Inn looks like the devil that escaped Fawney Rig."
"That's what your cousin says," says the guy skeptically. "He'd only been working at Fawney Rig for less than half a year when the escape happened. He wasn't even stationed at the basement."
"Look, mate, don't you be gettin' cold feet now that we've gotten this far. Even if this guy doesn't tell us how he's immortal, surely his friend would give us some magic reward to ransom him."
Hob reflexively strains against his bonds for a second. He knows that these men wouldn't be able to lay a finger on Dream, but just knowing that they might turns his annoyance into anger. Just a minute ago he was asking for Dream's help, but now he's glad that Dream isn't getting dragged into this.
The easiest way to escape for him would be when they're taking him out of the van. They still think he's asleep, and he can use that to his advantage. He's practiced freeing himself from ropes a few centuries ago, when the memory of the witch hunt was still fresh in his mind, but he hasn't attempted it in a long time.
He tries to maneuver his hands to try to find the end of the rope, and suddenly he hears it.
It's a very subtle hum, more like a shift in the air than an actual sound, but Hob has had centuries to be attuned to it.
"Who the hell is that?" The horn honks repeatedly, then the sound of a window rolling down. "Out of the way, mate!"
"Christ, is that a sword?"
"His eyes—"
"Slow down!"
"Shit—"
Hob barely manages to sit up before the van lurches to a near stop with the screeching sound of tearing metal.
Something rushes past him and he feels the van tip sideways as wind seems to have entered the vehicle; his feet scrabble for purchase but he feels that half of the floor is gone.
What?
Hob feels strong hands lift him by the arms and suddenly he's out of the van and being placed firmly on the ground.
The blindfold and rope are gone in an instant, and he finds himself blinking up at Dream's face.
"Are you alright?" a deep frown is creasing his forehead.
A loud crashing sound makes Hob look just in time to see the left half of the van smashed into a tree, its right half lying on the ground a few feet away. Two men were lying unconscious among the smoking wreckage.
Hob gapes at the sight before turning to Dream, only now noticing the huge sword his boyfriend is holding in one hand. Its polished black blade is easily as wide as two of Hob's arms, and nearly as tall as Dream's torso. Shadowy tendrils emanate from it like wisps of smoke.
"You sliced the van in half?" Hob says incredulously.
"Yes," Dream answers casually as if Hob had just asked him if he had toast for breakfast. The sword vanishes and Dream gently holds Hob's face in both of his hands. "Are you alright?" he asks again as his eyes survey Hob's face and up and down his body.
Hob smiles and reaches up to hold Dream's hands in his own, brushing his thumb soothingly across Dream's skin. "I'm perfectly fine, love. Not a scratch."
He turns to look at the men on the ground, and his worry must show on his face because Dream sighs as he lets go of Hob and turns to them as well.
"They are alive. And they will remember having kidnapped you for money, as the owner of a popular establishment. They will think that the van fell apart after hitting the tree, and they will not remember seeing me tonight. Nor will they remember ever thinking of you as an immortal or me as being anything more than a human." Dream waves his hand. "And they will not be able to recall either of our faces."
Hob doesn't know if a van splitting in half after hitting a tree is even physically possible, but he decides not to question it. "Will they be alright, though? They did just go through a car crash."
"They bound and stole you away." Dream is frowning at him.
"That doesn't mean they deserve to die in this deserted road," Hob looks around.
Dream sets his jaw and Hob can feel him reigning in his temper. "They are unconscious because I made their minds sleep, not because of any grievous injury." He waves a hand. "They will be found by authorities within the hour."
"Did you put something like the opposite of a perception filter on them?" Hob asks curiously.
"What?" Dream frowns.
"Y'know, like that thing in Doctor Who." Hob has been making Dream watch episodes with him for the past month.
"… I suppose."
Dream is obviously still rather upset, so Hob smiles at him. "Take me home?"
Dream summons his sand so fast that Hob wonders if he'd just been waiting for Hob to ask.
They land in Hob's living room and Hob sighs in relief. He idly rubs his wrists where the ropes had dug a bit into his skin, and he sees Dream's face immediately darken even as he looks at Hob in concern.
"A few nightmares would not hurt them—"
"Hush, love, there's no need for that." Hob reaches over and rubs Dream's arms soothingly. "They can't harm us now. And I can always file a police report on them, just so they can't kidnap other people next time."
Dream does relax at that, though his eyebrows are still furrowed. "When I heard you call, I thought you had been taken because you were rescuing some magical creature again in worry that it's me," he says quietly.
"Hey now, we agreed I wouldn't do that unless I couldn't contact you for an entire day, right?"
"I saw their thoughts," Dream continues. "They took you because they want your immortality, and some frivolous reward from me. That is worse than taking you for attempting to rescue someone."
"I'll be filing a report," Hob reiterates. "I can show the police CCTV footage from the front of the Inn, it would show them knocking me unconscious and dragging me to their van. I'll say I escaped because of the crash. And anyway, you said they won't remember us. You've done more than enough, love."
"I seem to recall you saying back then that if you had known I was in Fawney Rig, you would have dealt vengeance upon the household after freeing me."
Hob feels his face warm. "That's different, I wasn't even in that van for more than an hour, I'd guess, and I was asleep for most of it. There isn't much to take revenge for."
"I would have appreciated such an act of devotion from you," Dream continues as if he hadn't heard what Hob just said. "But you would not let me do even a fraction of it."
Hob has to stop himself from grinning, because the entity who just cleaved a van in two with his magic sword is now pouting adorably at him. Hob is once again overcome with how much he loves both sides of Dream. He only regrets that he didn't see Dream wielding the sword; just imagining the sight of it is putting him in an entirely different mood already.
Hob steps forward. "You know," he traces his fingers on Dream's collar down to the front of his coat. "There is another way you can show that devotion of yours," he tells Dream with a look that Dream must surely recognise by now, but just to be sure, Hob does his best to daydream loudly.
There is a very subtle bob in Dream's throat as he swallows. "Are you quite certain? You were just in a car accident."
Hob raises an eyebrow. "I barely felt it, you made sure of that. Besides, it's your fault for rescuing me with a sword." He slides his hands under Dream's open coat and holds his waist, smiling at the barely noticeable hitch in Dream's breath. He can feel his own desire mirrored in Dream's eyes, and Hob wants nothing more than be consumed by it. He leans closer and brushes his nose along Dream's cheekbone. "Now how about that devotion you were talking about?" he says in a low voice, his lips barely brushing Dream's.
Dream pounces and Hob is instantly pinned against the wall, their bodies flush together and Dream's mouth wet against his.
Hob tangles his fingers in Dream's hair; he can barely manage to keep up with lips and teeth and tongue and damn if that doesn't take his breath away.
Dream nips at his lower lip before pulling away a fraction. "Do you know the fear that gripped my heart when you called to me for help?" he whispers against Hob's mouth.
"I can't die, remember?" Hob says playfully.
"I would not have you hurt. Nor taken from me." Dream's demeanour remains serious, and he pulls away and tilts Hob's chin up with gentle fingers. "You are mine, Hob Gadling. For as long as you would have me."
Dream's eyes have turned into galaxies, and Hob feels his lips part as a shaky breath escapes him. He grabs Dream by the collar and crashes their mouths together.
"Then let me have you now," Hob says between biting kisses before bodily dragging Dream towards the bedroom.
The fact that Dream allows himself to be manhandled as such sends a new thrill through Hob, and soon enough he's got the Lord of Dreams beneath him on his bed, and Hob is kissing him like his immortality depends on it.
Dream shoves a thigh between his legs and Hob moans into the kiss, his hips immediately bucking forward.
Dream moves with him, and for a few moments they mindlessly rut against each other, hands roaming everywhere and their kisses turning into gasps.
Hob needs more, preferably with less clothing between them, but Dream's hard length rubs up against his own and Hob groans as his hips move faster even as his hands try in vain to remove Dream's shirt.
The air shimmers and all their clothes vanish in an instant.
Hob huffs a delighted laugh. "Impatient, love?"
"I do not hear any complaints." Dream palms at Hob's bare arse and draws out a low moan from Hob, resting his head in the crook of Dream's neck.
Dream spreads him open and Hob feels a slick finger prodding at his rim, and he mouths at Dream's neck in an attempt to ground himself as Dream's finger enters him smoothly. He swears that Dream is shapeshifting it to be as smooth and slender as possible, but he's too busy grinding down on it to give it too much thought.
Hob sinks his teeth into the soft spot under Dream's ear, and Dream makes a sound that goes straight to Hob's cock.
Dream adds another finger, and with his other hand guides Hob's mouth back to his. Dream's tongue is a slippery sinful thing, and Hob's brain practically melts into his body as he feels Dream caressing and swirling inside him from both ends.
Dream's fingers hit a particular spot and Hob gasps as sparks fly behind his eyes, his hands digging into Dream's shoulders.
Hob can do nothing but bury his face in Dream's neck, mouth open and eyes squeezed shut as Dream works three fingers into him, curling and spreading in ways that now feel familiar to Hob. And that thought alone—that Dream's fingers inside him feel familiar now—sends a shiver through him.
"Dream," Hob groans and wills himself to sit up, his hips grinding down on Dream's perfect fingers. "I'm ready, love."
Dream arches an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth turns up in a smile. "It seems you are impatient as well." He suddenly pulls out his fingers and any retort Hob might have had turns into a whine.
Dream grabs his hips and lifts him effortlessly before lining himself up, and Hob has to bite his lip in an effort to slow down instead of slamming down on Dream like what his body is screaming at him to do.
Hob can feel every inch of his lover filling him, and Dream is looking up at him with blown-out pupils and a mouth slacked open in wonder, as if Hob is the all-powerful deity worthy of admiration.
Hob finally takes Dream to the hilt and reflexively clenches, drawing out a moan from both of them.
Hob tries to move but realises that Dream is holding his hips still in an iron grip. A sound of frustration escapes his throat as Dream's hot length inside him only fuels his need.
"Dream," Hob says breathlessly, practically clawing at Dream's chest. "If you don't let me move you might actually kill me."
"I thought you wished to have me? Do you not wish to have me for long?" Dream moves Hob's hips once then holds him in place again.
Hob gasps at the glorious brush along his walls but can do no more than clench repeatedly around Dream, seeking any friction he might get.
Dream's lips part and his eyes grow heavy-lidded, his grip on Hob tightening even more. "Oh, you hold me so deliciously, beloved. Perhaps I shall keep you here, speared open and wanting, fluttering around me as we both slowly go mad with need."
"Fuck." Precome starts leaking out of Hob's cock at Dream's words, and he thinks he might already be slowly going mad. "Dream… please…" He's so hard it hurts, and his hand moves on its own to reach for his cock—
"No."
Hob whimpers as his hand drops back down to Dream's torso.
"I will give you what you need, my dear Hob. You must trust me." Dream moves him again and this time Hob feels Dream drag across his prostate, inch by torturous inch until Hob is shaking all over.
"Oh god," Hob's head drops forward and he grabs at every part of Dream he can reach, wanting to feel more of him, however he can.
"Not a god," Dream quips, though there's a tremble in his voice.
"Fuck me properly and I'll call you whatever you want." Hob clenches around him again.
Dream groans low in his chest, then lifts Hob a few inches and brings him back down.
"Yes," Hob hisses at the sensation, but once again he's held in place.
Then Dream sticks out his tongue, and Hob stares wide-eyed as it grows impossibly long and licks up his cock.
"AH—!" Hob yells at the sudden touch and his cock twitches and leaks, its head flushed purple with want.
Dream laps at the slit of Hob's cock, as if determined to coax out every drop without sending him over the edge.
Hob's arms are shaking as he tries to hold himself upright against Dream's stomach, watching helplessly as Dream continues on with his cruel motions. Then Dream's tongue wraps around Hob's cock and moves up and down, soft as silk and driving Hob delirious with every stroke.
"Dream—hng—Dream, please!" Hob squeezes his eyes shut as he waits for what surely must be an orgasm coming, but Dream holds him at a razor's edge, stroking his cock and moving his hips back and forth at a glacial pace.
Hob feels the tongue let him go and he whimpers, his now neglected cock twitching at empty air.
"How exquisite you look like this," Dream says softly and Hob feels a gentle hand brush his hair back from his damp forehead, and he opens his eyes to look blearily at Dream. "But I'm afraid my own impatience wins over us." He loosens his grip on Hob's hips. "Take your pleasure, my love, and allow me to bear witness."
Hob pistons his hips without a second thought, animalistic noises coming from his throat at finally being able to feel Dream's cock in its entirety. Dream's hands flex at his hips but no longer to still him, and the gasps and moans coming out of Dream's pink lips only encourage Hob to move faster.
Dream is thrusting up now, and Hob keens as flames seem to lick up and down his whole body, his thighs are trembling from the exertion but he couldn't have stopped moving even if he tried.
Dream wraps a hand around Hob's cock and fists him furiously and Hob is gone.
He throws his head back and screams as the orgasm tears through him; a bolt of lightning up his spine as his body writhes and shakes uncontrollably, ropes of come spurting out of his cock.
Dream makes a wounded noise and Hob feels him spill inside and it is rapture. Hob doesn't know if he climaxes for a second time or he just hasn't stopped, Dream's pulsing cock inside him pushing his pleasure into new heights.
Hob hears whimpering breathless noises that he realises are coming from him, then he collapses on top of Dream, his chest heaving like a bellows and his limbs feeling so pleasantly boneless.
Dream rubs soothing circles on his back. "I hope I have made the wait worth it, my beloved," he says breathlessly.
Words are still beyond Hob so he makes a contented hum and nods as much as he can without moving from his position.
He feels Dream slip out of him, and the feeling of Dream's come flowing out of his hole makes his prick twitch valiantly one more time. Then Dream gently turns them so that they're lying side by side on the bed.
Hob vaguely registers that Dream has magically cleaned them of sweat and come, and he sighs blissfully as he snuggles up to Dream's neck.
"Holy shit," Hob manages a whisper. He regains control of his limbs and wraps an arm around Dream to pull him closer.
Dream returns the embrace. "I take it you did not disapprove of the delay?" he asks with a smile in his voice.
"Not at all," Hob is still trying to catch his breath. "I'm good at waiting, remember?"
Dream chuckles and places a lingering kiss on top of Hob's head. "Indeed you are. Now rest, your body has been through a lot tonight."
Hob can't argue with that, so he closes his eyes and takes a lungful of Dream's scent; winter and old books and lightning and honeyed tea. He smiles at how that's also familiar now, and lets himself fall asleep in the arms of the King of Dreams.
---
Notes
The slicing of the van in half is based on this scene from the KDrama Goblin. I always thought that was really cool.
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Bruce: DAMIAN AL GHUL WAYNE COME HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!
Damian: Yes Father?
Brucr: Why have there been charges to your card for chlamydia treatment for the last 3 months?! You are SIXTEEN!
Damian: It's for the koalas!
Bruce:...What?
Damian: It's for the koalas father! It's a terrible epidemic for the wild population! Over 90% infection rates! $50 a month to contribute to helping keep the species alive is the least I can do!
Bruce: *deep breath* Next time, PLEASE, just ask me to set up a charity for whichever cause you're looking to sponsor. It'd give me less heart attacks.
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