“ohhh would you look at that, my pawns found jesus and now they’re all bishops”

“so i realize it looks like i’m putting a thimble on the board but actually my rooks have been using their downtime to build another rook, one that’s better, stronger, faster—”

“hey welcome back. while you left to get a snack, those six pieces you’d captured slipped their guards, tunneled to safety and emerged right in the middle of your royal palace.”

“The United States Government is offering you a piece of land of your own.”

“We have our own land.”

“No, it’s not yours. It’s the US Government’s.”

Pikachu, after finding out someone doesn’t want to be his friend:

Simba, after seeing his father dead at a very young age, being blamed for it, then being yelled at to run away from everything he’s ever loved and known: