clown of the universe

while I am talking to you about something gay and stupid a mosquito lands on my arm and sucks all my blood out in an instant, swelling to the size of a person as my remains flutter cartoonishly down to the ground, and it continues the conversation where I left off in a high pitched approximation of my voice

Imagine washing up on Dinotopia and getting a talk saying "unfortunately, you can't escape this island! You'll never go home or see your loved ones ever again" & then while you're crying they say "I'm sorry, you'll just have to live on the island of dinosaur communism for the rest of your life" and you look up through your bleary eyes and go. Wait what

fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now

women love me because i am cute and only freak out badly sometimes

this format is fucking horrifying

Wrong gif. Sorry.

OOHHHHH sopranos like the singers

this website is a goddamn national treasure

do they expect me to stop him somehow?

the thing is i love living under a rock #myrock. people will ask you howwww can you not know about this?? it's because of my rock next question

"I'm still kicking" is such a funny way to say "I'm still alive". Like lol. I'm still thrashing. Flailing. Writhing even. The violence remains.