UnfinishedRiot

ITS REAL ITS FUCKING REAL

Turns out, 2000 was 20 years ago. Which is odd, since 1980 was also.

If you have Edison lights you automatically get the guillotine.

this place has a burger that’s topped with like 3 other kinds of meat and tastes like nothing but liquid smoke

guacamole is offered for $1.75

they have a sign up telling you no Wi-Fi talk to each other but they also want you to follow them on Instagram

they have a $17 burger that has “deconstructed” in its description.

All of the beverages are served in mason jars and the only straws they provide, on request, are dry pasta

Menus printed on brown paper that’s meant to look low-fi but actually costs $40 a ream

Your waiter has a man-bun and hotpants on and recommends you the low fat, low calzhigh soy veggie burger for $19.89. Fries aren’t served.

The microbrew menu is 300 pages thick and none of them are good

those ridiculously uncomfortable benches are always placed on a floor designed to make the most noise when you try to leave.

They don’t have a brand name soda fountain but instead carry sodas and colas made from roots and cane sugar. Their AC keeps the restaurant at a comfortable 55 degrees on a 70 degree day while the cardstock menu proudly boasts that they’re made from 100% recycled paper. Extra toppings can cost up to $5 depending on what you get.

The food you order to go comes in a brown paper bag

Restaurant tables are made of recycled wood. The aesthetic of the building is black, silver, brown, and red. Food eaten in is served in loose, small wax paper bags instead of plates. Prices on the menu do not show currency iconography beside them.

Who hurt you people

The Bay Area and SoCal

North side of Chicago

the whole west coast

everyone’s out here like “buy Disney plus” “no, pirate!” you fools. the best way to experience a tv show is vicariously through tumblr posts about baby yoda

who wants to see my cats when they were kittens

please show us what they look like now

I FUCKING LOVED MINE

there really is no excuse for media to be this saturated with the fact that so many shows revolve around teens having sex. you could easily make these shows based on adults. you want an unoriginal school setting? college exists. even better graduate school exists. 

Literally WHERE. ARE. THE. COLLEGE. SHOWS?!? I want 18-22 year olds straight up figuring out their shit. Surviving on ramen for a while semester, doing weird shit while drunk, writing entire papers in 13 minutes, awkward sexual experiences, dorm life drama. It’s appropriate because they’re adults, hilarious because they’re young. WHERE IS IT?!?

FIXER DOWNER