Trying to figure out how to play DnD

“Loopy” Lorelai Barrow: the most recent graduate of Magic Bart’s Correspondence Course, Lorelai is a young wizard of great enthusiasm for creating useful items. She doesn’t understand why her creations keep going wrong, but is determined not to let failure stop her. She is convinced that she’ll get the knack if she just keeps practicing.

Base all the characters off of John Mulaney quotes. No repeats.

This is why adventuring is frowned upon by members of other professions, I’m pretty sure.

This one was a request from someone on our discord. It’s also the first in what is going to be a string of high-CR boss monsters. Yay?

More of DnD Player characters and NPCs I have worked on for commissions in the last few months.

Thanks for coming to my ted-talk

I’m handing my tumblr password to my sister, and she will only give it back to me once I hand her a completed manuscript. I’ve got lots of stuff queued until then, so you shan’t miss me. Follow your dreams, everyone.

Yeah, my brother and I had some complex ideas on what constitutes “play”.

Jungle Encounters has over 50 monsters, NPC’s, new races, weather patterns, and traps. Arctic Encounters has over 40 monsters, NPC’S, new races and weather patterns Desert Encounters has over 50 monsters, NPC’S, weather Patterns, Encounter ideas, new races and items. Holiday Encounters has over 30 Monsters, new races, and items. Jurassic Encounters has over 30 Monsters, and items.

you can view it here!

Actually roll up a new character

A little medicine crow with all of her potions 

[1] A friendly stray dog appears, when asked to speak the dog has a lot to share [2] Materializing out of thin air, a magician appears claiming one of the party members is their long lost cousin. Surely this must be a mistake? [3] The sky above turns into a strange hue, birds begin flying in strange patterns in response [4] Copper sign on a large oak tree warns of a dangerous beast that hunts in the area [5] Strange traveling merchant appears selling exotic fish and unique magical spices. They’re desperate for loyal customers, surely this won’t be the last the party sees of them [6] There is a shift in the aura, the party have crossed into a large-scale summoning circle [7] A faint tune is heard, a pleasant and somewhat familiar whistling. But only half of the party can hear it [8] The trees appear to be sickly, covered in an acidic substance. The source of the infection lies deeper within the woods. It is hungry [9] Ruins of an abandoned town lie before you, only a few decades old. What awaits within the shadows? [10] A strange marketplace is stationed near a spring, all the merchants seem to be friendly but you can’t help but feel like something suspicious is going down… [11] The temperature drops to an insanely low degree almost immediately. Destroyed trees and earth lie ahead covered in ice crystals and blood [12] A carriage rides toward you in the distance, the driver smiles and waves. As they pass by, a tied up body wriggles and falls out of the carriage [13] Pointed plant spurs shower the party attaching to their clothes, they are difficult to remove and grow in size very rapidly [14] The aroma of baked goods floods your nose, it’s rich and enticing. A colossal sized monster is baking goods in a makeshift oven near a river [15] Goblins camping on a hill loudly argue about a dishonest game of cards. Looks like their betting pool is full of interesting treasure [16] Forest spirits glow and awaken as the party enters their domain. The spirits offer a safe way through the forest as long as they promise not to steal any of the enchanted flowers within [17] A wounded Minotaur rests against a tree slipping in and out of consciousness [18] Blessed by a beautiful night, the party gaze upon a shooting star. It glows brightly, increasing with size as it makes contact with the earth itself not too far away [19] Travel is pleasant until the party notices their packs seem to be lessening in weight [20] Twin travelers, no more than 6 years of age, approach the party lost and scared. They refuse to let anyone open up their knapsacks [21] A band of muggers attack the party, they are completely drunk and can barely hold a dagger [22] It seems you’ve stumbled onto the hidden base of an Alchemist, strange abominations infused with Chromatic Orbs guard the premise [23] “Huh. That’s weird, did that plant just move or was it just me?” [24] While scavenging for food, you stumble upon an adorable but frightened rabbit. Every time it sneezes it changes forms, starting with Owlbear [25] An abandoned grain mill provides some convenient shelter for the night. Inside the mill the party discover a complex mechanical endoskeleton, the rusted metal gears creak uneasily [26] Nearby, a crowd has gathered around a clay golem without a master. The crowd watches, enchanted as the golem paints masterpieces. The paint has a strange property… [27] Two Monsters are locked in combat, bloodied and breathing heavily. It seems their glorious duel is one of honor, maybe bet on a winner? [28] A Dragon flies overhead holding onto a hoard of gold and treasures. A sudden change in direction causes a piece of their treasure to fall [29] Dozens of fish with human legs crawl out of a lake. This school of peculiar fish seem to be on a mission [30] Rock music is heard in the distance followed by bouts of cheering, strange aromas fill the air. It seems you are approaching a Music Festival [31] You’ve wandered onto the premises of a camp for young Wizards. A Wizarding tournament is taking place and things get very dangerous, very fast [32] A cobblestone bridge stretches across a deep ravine. An Orc guarding the bridge demands you pay the toll, fortunately it is very small. After crossing the bridge you simply cannot remember where you are or where you’re going- Oh, a hey! A bridge! (And repeat) [33] A Mage stands in front of an unfinished tower. Upon seeing the party, they ask for assistance [34] A few hundred feet ahead, a strange house on wheels attached to two horses is parked on the side of the road. The house is somewhat destroyed but a sign on the roof is visible, “The Legendary Vagabond’s Sensational Creature Exhibit” [35] The ground below rumbles as a Monster emerges catching one of the party members in their teeth [36] In the center of the forest clearing, an abandoned field of flowers sway. These strange flowers are growing out the decayed body of a Dryad [37] A wild chicken jumps out of the bushes, it’s beak covered in blood. Surely this chicken is no threat, right? [38] Seated beside the river shore, an ethereal creature weeps. They reveal themselves as a Demigod with daddy issues [39] Hungrily, a non-traditional Chimera stalks the party. The beast is stitched together poorly [40] Inside the log of a fallen tree lies a poorly concealed treasure chest full of stolen loot. I’m sure nobody will mind if we take it? [41] Mysterious beasts occupy a dark hollow inside a hill, they want to play a bizarre game with promise of a grand reward [42] A sleeping Cyclops presents an awkward obstacle for the party, sleeping on the path. Nothing seems to be waking them and going around them is dangerous due to the environment [43] A nearby earthquake collapses the ground, revealing some glowing ore [44] Rotted flora is everywhere, upon further inspection this rot spreads out for miles [45] Wonderful! A village! Oh and everyone here is so nice… New mayors? Oh no, you must be mistaken! Oh, you’re certain? Well then [46] Lightning strikes the ground creating a dimensional rift. Certain conditions must have been met for this to have happened. Why not investigate? [47] Faint, indescribable sounds are heard from every direction. As you leave the dense foliage you discover beasts and Monsters of all types in cages. Welcome to the zoo [48] Little miss spider sips on some cider, eating her curds and whey. Along came the party, all powerful and hearty who scared miss spider away… You guys should probably apologize [49] A few tattered shacks sit beside the open road, nothing of interest is found within. The only thing to note is that they seem to be breathing… [50] Something straight out of Monster Factory is now stalking the party. Are they friend or foe? [51] A poet down on their luck bumps into the party. Did I mention they’re a Beholder? Let’s hope somebody can inspire this beast, or else [52] Just outside the village a group of angsty Bards are practicing their instruments. Their music is loud and dangerous, they don’t seem to understand a thing about Bardic magic [53] The coolest wizard you’ve ever seen dogsleds past your crew, spraying them with glittering ice. Did I mention it’s summer? [54] Just ahead, you see a ruined castle covered in moss and vines overlooking a quiet lake [55] Looks like a small creature has found its way into someone’s pack. This menace has eaten all of your rations and drank all of their booze! [56] YUCK! A swarm of bugs have gotten the best of your party. Fortunately, only one of you was bitten. Unfortunately, it looks like now they’ve developed a new, very unfortunate allergy [57] Blistering heat has rendered your whole party sweaty and exhausted, movement is quite difficult. I sure hope some baddies don’t show up right now [58] The unluckiest member of your party has their luck turned around, they found a precious jewel lodged in the dirt. They feel inspired [59] The unluckiest member of your party continues their trend of haplessness, they find a precious jewel lodged in the dirt. It whispers to them at night, haunting their dreams [60] After a hearty sleep the party awaken to find that they’ve been sleeping on top of a buried tomb [61] A large scale battle is taking place, bodies everywhere. Wait, this doesn’t seem to be a battlefield but a serious LARP session [62] Rusted weapons have been lazily discarded into a sunken pit. As the party approaches they discover this heap of weapons is actually somebody, or something’s collection [63] A drunken Necromancer attempts to impress the party by casting hazardous spells [64] Arrows fire at the party from behind. Someone’s been hired to take them out [65] For the past few hours you’ve felt as if someone has been watching you from afar. A Druid has been tracking your party. Outsiders are rare in this forest [66] A group Merchants are completely lost. Neither of them can remember anything from their past [67] Religious statues are placed haphazardly around the area, nothing is out of the ordinary until the sun goes down [68] Dozens of animated skeletons are exercising and doing some really intense yoga [69] Beside a babbling brook, a young cow drinks alone. They’re irresistibly adorable [70] An uneventful day of travel, the weather is calm the trees are- THUD! WHAT THE- The party leader has bumped into something invisible [71] All metal objects are intensely pulled toward an unknown source. Steel weapons and armor don’t stand a chance [72] It appears resting on that rock was quite the mistake. The stone rumbles and animates, grumpy and combative [73] Meditating on floating chunks of earth is a powerful looking Monk. They claim to have been awaiting the party’s arrival. The Monk issues a challenge, a test of strength [74] You’ve somehow stumbled onto a delightful Toad farm. Do you think a Witch lives around here or is there just a Toad enthusiast in these parts? [75] The morning sun stirs you awake to an unexpected scene. You and your friends have been tied up and kidnapped, seated in the back of a caravan. It smells oddly of pickled vegetables [76] A fishing contest is being held at the lake. The grand prize is a shockingly large sum of currency [77] It is a moonless night, travel is nearly impossible. As the party decide to sleep for the night, glowing is seen in the distance. When investigated the glowing creature is seemingly friendly and it attempts to guide the party through the night [78] Forest fairies are holding a festival for their gods, they invite the party to join [79] ACHOO! The pollen in the air is really strong… Wait… Are those trees growing or are we shrinking? Of course we’re shrinking! Why wouldn’t we be shrinking!? [80] In order to pass through this forest unharmed you must answer the goddess’s riddle. Unfortunately for the party she speaks a dead language, they hear only strange whispers [81] A group of Goblins attack! After giving them a good licking you run into them again. And again… And again. Maybe we should just make peace with these dorks [82] Introduce the most ridiculous NPC and have them stuck in some quicksand. Really let their character shine through, whether they are stupidly entertaining or horribly unbearable [83] A strange light glows in the distance on top of a mountain. Is this a sign of good fortune or something much more sinister? [84] A lone child plays the flute in the forest, they appear almost ethereal. It is a haunting melody [85] Shattered Gargoyles sit in an overgrown garden, a treasure chest lies among the rubble [86] Pick your favorite Cryptid and make them canonical to your world. Have the beast stalk the party for mysterious cryptic reasons. And yes, the Loch Ness Monster is an excellent choice [87] The forest clearing leads to a crystal clear freshwater lake. In the depths of the water something terrifying is waiting to be discovered [88] Two hyper intelligent, talking rabbits stop the party in their tracks. All they request are some books to read [89] A tree, twice as tall as the others appears to be growing… Weapons? (All of those are cursed, of course) [90] Next to the road, a group of Archaeologists are taking dirt samples. They’re convinced they will find some buried artifacts in the area. They are willing to pay a ridiculous sum of money if you give them some assistance, just as long as you keep this whole thing to yourselves [91] Resting through the night was very pleasant for the party leader. When they attempt to greet their comrades, they have found themselves in a bed a long ways away from their resting point [92] Dried up lake beds and decaying trees among a field of animal bones. You have reached the outside of a Necromancer’s circle [93] Orcs with a sense of humor attempt to prank the party. Their prank is perfectly harmless, it involves just a little bit of bottled unicorn piss [94] Travel is impossible on this moonless night. Unfortunately, sleeping until morning does not solve the situation, nighttime persists indefinitely [95] A colorful formation on the side of the mountain piques your interest. Inside lies the abandoned home of a giant and it is full of unique treasure. Let’s just hope something else hasn’t taken residence within the forgotten halls [96] Tons of bubblegum covers the roads, it is awful to travel through. The source of this mishap is a young Wizard with a sweet tooth [97] Crashed into the side of a plateau, a metallic construct with strange markings and glowing lights. Surely this isn’t an actual extraterrestrial? [98] While foraging for food, the party find a path of mushrooms leading into a dense Fungal Forest. Rare and undiscovered fungi grow within [99] The most obnoxious bard in the world joins the party at their campfire. They claim to be weak and in need of good company, offering booze to win them over. Did I mention this bard is an infamous necromancer on the run? Yeah, that might be important to know [100] Have you ever heard of the Adventure Zone? Well, Taako, Magnus and Merle have suddenly found themselves into your campaign. They are completely lost

Mechanically: You have a spellbook that contains every spell you know. Every day, you have to study up on a handful of these spells that you want to have immediately at your fingertips. You can add to the spellbook by finding more spells out in the world and copying them down using fancy-ass stationery.