that's how you know it's infinite

how far is a thousand yards actually i need to know how far im staring here

Your capacity for evil is showing

does it make me look cute

Man who hates the very concept of life and all living beings: I should design portal websites for colleges and job applications

"post without tags?" OH IM FUCKING SORRY #BEES #9/11

a second bumblebee has hit the flowers

accidentally asked a customer today if she would like to "put in your phone number for amazing digital coupons?"

in the future humans will have something called "sinus button " and pressing it will immediately drain your sinuses of all fluid so that it can be filled with other things like rocks, webs, paint, tar, freef (new fluid that will be so important in that time) and also dr papper

#hope #hopepunk #positivity #utopia #dreamworld

self discipline is so hard like. i know the sucker who's in charge...a pushover who hates authority and loves hedonism

First of all I knew it was a trap second of all I’m having fun under this bucket eating snacks

ok so its a pretty good story but you know what would make it better? a liar. a character who lies. maybe two.

*tricks you cutely* it's my trick...!

in a world where happy rich people sell the discontent lower class the lie that money cant buy you happiness it is at least reassuring to know that our sole trillionaire is the most pathetic, unloved, miserable, alone human being on the planet, and that NOTHING could make him happy. get fuckeddd lol

I love saying “no worries” instead of “it’s okay,” like do not spend a single millisecond of your finite mortal existence letting anxiety over this situation consume you. I have already erased the incident from the timeline. It is gone. You are safe now.

it doesnt make sense that a penis would get bigger if yoiu jerk it off youre literally compressing it. go crumple a can rn and tell me its bigger im not buying this narrative

Okay So .. This is What Casual Misandry Looks Like Everybody

im trying to go pro if anyone has any tips

it's Tuesday all day today and there's no known way to prevent this

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

my vocabulary is rapidly dwindling. "yay" is one of my default responses now