in another life, we'll do it right

House: Black eye (black coffee with two shots of espresso), adds his own cream and sugar very sparingly. Occasionally when he’s alone he orders a Caramel Ribbon Crunch frap (guilty pleasure).

Wilson: Grande hot latte with soy milk. He used to order the “skinny vanilla” (latte with skim milk and sugar free vanilla) but stopped because House made fun of him for ordering the white mom drink.

Cuddy: This woman will drink any kind of coffee she can get her hands on in the morning. Even really, really shitty coffee. She just needs something to get through the day. But if she’s got time for Starbucks, I know she’s absolutely getting a tall Brown Sugar Oat Milk Shaken Espresso with two extra shots of espresso (four total). (That is a lot of espresso for a small drink and she needs all of it). She looks so stressed out that the barista draws a smiley face or a star next to her name on the cup, or writes “have a great day!”

Cameron: The Taylor Swift latte. Grande skim latte with caramel. She’s a basic bitch but she knows what she likes, good for her! In the fall she’s 100% a pumpkin spice latte girl and she probably also has the date written on her calendar for when Peppermint Mochas come back in the winter. When asked her name: “It’s Allie, A-L-L-I-E. Thanks!” automatically spells it out to make the barista’s life 3x easier.

Chase: Cameron orders for him because Chase has no idea what the names for anything are. Also likes a good Peppermint Mocha around Christmas (Cameron got him hooked; he stops drinking them after the divorce). Rest of the year he goes for an Americano, iced or hot, with almond milk. His Starbucks name is Bob, which never fails to make Cameron laugh. (Now I’m imagining putting that order out and yelling “ICED AMERICANO FOR BOB!” into a busy cafe and Chase standing there cluelessly like “who? me?” until Cameron nudges him, and I’m laughing my ass off)

Foreman: Regular, plain ol’ black coffee, any kind of dark roast. He adds his own cream very liberally but isn’t a fan of sugar in his coffee.

Thirteen: I spent way too much time thinking of the perfect thing for her. If she just gets coffee at work, just regular decaf coffee is fine. The bitter taste wakes her up since there’s no caffeine. If she wants a nice coffee, I think she’d like a decaf Doppio (two shots of espresso) with a bit of almond milk, one pump of vanilla, and one pump of hazelnut. Hot or iced, but always decaf. Gently but firmly tells the barista to please make sure it’s decaf because she’s “caffeine intolerant” (not wholly a lie. Helps her avoid the caffeine jitters.) Never uses her real name, either gives a random one or just says “Thirteen, like the number” when asked for a name by the barista. Always leaves a tip when she has cash. Orders her drink iced at any time of year if she’s in the mood for it and gets harassed by House for it.

Kutner: Rotates between different superhero names for his Starbucks name (Tony Stark, Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Clint Barton, etc.). Taub wants to melt through the floor every time he gets coffee with Kutner and his order is called out. Kutner thinks it’s hilarious. I really feel like he would be happy with anything you give him, but I think his go to if he’s specifically at Starbucks would be a java chip frap despite the fact that Taub lectures him about it (if he’s gonna treat himself to expensive coffee it may as well taste good!!). Also RIP Kutner you would have loved the Dragon Drink so much (both for the badass name AND the fact that it’s purple)

Taub: Doesn’t go to Starbucks often, probably really only goes with Kutner. Just orders a regular latte or cappuccino. He says he doesn’t see the point of adding in all the flavors and stuff because it’ll just drown out the coffee. Might put some cinnamon on top if there’s a shaker of it on the condiment bar. Would add cinnamon or nutmeg at home if he has the luxury of having a late morning and making his own coffee.

in top secret, the episode pictured, cameron and chase famously decide to have sex in the sleep labs. however, the timeline of this is silly.

scene one: it is late at night, although we do not know how late. their patient is sound asleep, and cameron is antsy. she points out that they don't both need to pull all-nighters for this task, and wants to go home. from this context, i would assume it is night but still relatively early. they didn't tell their patient to go night-night at 7 pm, right? but it's also still early enough cameron thinks she can go home and get a decent night's rest. let's say it's 11-12.

footnote one: cameron is totally correct in pointing this out, which lends the question: why are they both here to begin with? house did leave the order to do a sleep study, but he didn't designate who should do it. chase seems to have gotten the short straw, since cameron feels her presence is optional and foreman isn't even here. so literally the only reason cameron is even here is to hang out with chase. but yeah she doesn't like him at alllll. (bonus: chase's pleased little glance when she says she'll stay.)

scene two: cameron and chase make out and then have sex.

scene three: foreman strolls in with coffee to find the patient screaming for help. shortly after, cameron and chase, as pictured above, rush in. the question: how long were they gone?

foreman was not part of this job; if it didn't take two doctors, it certainly didn't take three, and there was no mention of him also being around. foreman also has no particular reason to doubt that cameron and chase couldn't manage this on their own. between his arrival and the coffee, are we meant to assume it's morning? maybe quite early? next time we see the trio, it is explicitly morning and they're calling house; is it currently, say, 5-6 am?

because either foreman decided to drop by at 1am and join the all-nighter party, or, after having sex in the sleep lab, cameron and chase straight up fell asleep and blew off the rest of their shift to cuddle nap.

This reminded me of your (correct) take on wuddy

OHHHH THIS IS SO REAL. LOVE.

wuddy is literally just "You are the Closest I Can Get" it's kinda crazy. but at the same time wilson being a vehicle for the huddy relationship is also very real. like it happened in the show. who else remembers season 3. they're multiple versions of proxy it's proxymaxxing. everyone get onto the wuddy proxy sex train now. because it's happening. it literally happened.

there's this odd scene i think about more than i should. it's after the Kiss. cameron is giving andie an exam to determine if she's suffered CSA. andie is upbeat. she's cheerful and unconcerned. she compliments cameron's hair. cameron is taken aback. the scene ends.

the tone is... odd. i think we're supposed to be taken aback, as cameron is, by andie's cheerful nature and bravery. we are told many times she is brave, she is mature for her age, she is precocious. at the end of the episode, wilson, admiringly!, tells house that andie is impressive, in part for "stealing a kiss" from chase: chase is considered (correctly) Weird for having given in, but andie is admired for taking it. it's fun that she stole a kiss; she impresses wilson and cameron and even house with her bravery and maturity.

and so the message kind of becomes: chase shouldn't have kissed her, probably, but lol, isn't it charming and fun that she got him to? isn't she mature? isn't she impressive? chase spends the rest of the episode (save the final scene) uncomfortable and avoiding andie, for which he is mocked: he's being dramatic. it wasn't a big deal. he shouldn't have kissed her, but she deserved to be kissed.

Chase says it once (In Brave Heart: "I love you too."). A second time in passing, in Teamwork ("I love my wife"). That's it.

And I'm not saying oh, Chase never says it, he's cold and distant -- he's not. But it's just. I'm insane about it. Chase doesn't say he loves her in S3 or S5. He doesn't tell her he loves her in Lockdown or in S6. But Cameron does. Look at that. Look how often she says it, how she says it to reassure him, to support him. How afraid Cameron always was, and how even when she's scared or worried or afraid he's having an affair, she's trying to tell him. I love you. Please open up to me.