You can’t cheat Death.

house: gas station hot dog. cheap and shriveled and kind of unappealing. but better than it appears and perfectly fine if you add toppings.

wilson: white chocolate candy bar. "oh, it's a bit unique, it's different but unobjectionable, maybe even fun," and then you take three bites and are like. this is actually quite strange. what is white chocolate.

cuddy: roasted tomato and red pepper bisque. it looks like tomato soup, and there's nothing wrong with a good tomato soup, but it's actually much more interesting and complex than you're expecting.

foreman: a really deluxe fruit pie. baking takes precise measurements and planning, and a berry pie is sweet but a bit tangy. raspberries and peaches, i think, with an incredible crust.

cameron: dark hot chocolate. in a cute mug with whipped cream and a peppermint stick. and maybe some bourbon. and less sweet than you'd think.

chase: cubed melon. fruit salad. a slice of watermelon on the beach. colorful and summery but maybe a bit bland.

taub: eggs benedict. fancy fried eggs. eggs with a gourmet twist. it's very nice, don't get me wrong, but it's also a statement if it's a casual breakfast, you know?

kutner: black pepper and pistachio lassi. okay, yes, give the indian guy an indian snack, but it's ultimately also a nice, tasty drink -- and the flavor is a bit unique and quirky, which i think he'd like too.

thirteen: thai green curry. interesting flavors, complex, sweet and spicy and sour and creamy at once. and a little bit unusual. she is a frequent traveler, after all.

masters: ...almond m&ms

park: buldak. spicy chicken wings. filipino barbeque. the idea of marinating chicken in something spicy is universal, and she's definitely a bit messy and has a real kick to her.

so much tension. an unbearable amount of tension and repression

equally obsessed with each other while pretending not to be

will violate a thousand laws to protect each other and for what

"what if i put full trust and belief and faith in you when no one else will"

constantly sacrificing things for each other while also never acknowledging this or mentioning it

"I need you." <- line from the most emotionally repressed character of all time

the amount of eye contact and weird long gazing at each other needs to be studied what is up with that

keeps leaving. keeps coming back

understanding each other on such a deep level and resenting it so much

convinced theyre not at all similar but constantly mirror each other to the point of speaking at exactly the same time and wearing the same shoes

straight up hallucinating the other and then never analysing that like okay sure you definently dont care deeply about this person

no matter who comes or goes they somehow remain. kill me

ship reveal..... it's forehouse!!!!!

DEAN CAMERONNNNNNn

Cameron has always been aware of House's flaws, but she's also always been very drawn to him. She idealizes him; he is her mentor (and former love). She herself says it to Cuddy in Big Baby: she's always going to trust House and give in to him in the end. In a real way, she idealizes him: back in S1 she told him she liked him because he always did the right thing. Cameron believes that, ultimately, House always acts for the right reasons, for the greater good, right? Sure, it might be reckless and dangerous and unethical, and she absolutely pushes back on him plenty of times, but as long as she is convinced that House's heart is in the right place, she's going to give in, because she trusts that the outcome will be good.

Dibala changes this. Teamwork changes this. This is Cameron's "come to Jesus" moment, the moment all that idealism and rose-colored view of House is stripped away: he doesn't care about the patient or case. He doesn't care about her, or Chase. It's all a game, it's all manipulation. She's actually correct, I think, to lay some blame for Dibala on House: it isn't that House tricked Chase into doing it, it was still Chase's decision... but Cameron is right that Chase wouldn't have done it six years ago. That if they hadn't both been in an environment where their boss and mentor was constantly pushing them to shed their ethics and boundaries, to act recklessly and with complete authority, to shed their morals, then Chase never would have thought "I could kill this guy." Neither would Cameron.

And we see this is a running theme. Foreman's reckless treatment plan in House Training is egged on by House until it kills a woman. Cameron's own ethics are pushed until she is performing euthanasia and pretending to do surgery on a mentally ill man. Masters will eventually compromise herself based on House's force of will; Chase gets an entire arc in S8 where he, too, realizes that House is changing him for the worse. Wilson calls it a "crazy vortex" and tries to recruit Thirteen specifically because she is "immune," but she kills her brother. Would she have done so anyway? We don't know. That's the point. House teaches his students to behave this way: above the law, for the greater good, ends justify the means. Once Cameron realizes it, she immediately gets out. She tries to take Chase with her.

The easiest way to keep Cameron on the show is just to remove the Dibala arc entirely, but my point is that I'm not really convinced something wouldn't happen to cause this awakening either way. Maybe not as dramatic, but it keeps happening, right? Cameron is, at some point, going to need to choose between her ideals and self and marriage, versus House's. We see in the show that she immediately chooses herself and her marriage. I don't think that, even given a less drastic scenario, she'd pick otherwise.

So. Dean Cameron.

Let's say Dibala happens, but on a smaller scale, or that she and Chase aren't pressured to make a huge choice over literally 24 hours, and so given time, make a compromise and stay.

Cameron is, I think, pretty done with House.

But there's an asterisk, because she's never done with anyone, really. I think she'd be very angry for a while, but... House is still House. At his funeral, she's back to looking on the bright side (although her and Chase's matching speeches -- that he was difficult but could still love -- imply a bit more ambiguity). We know Cameron likes to idealize and polish people to a shine. But I don't think their relationship would ever truly recover, or be the same. She knows now that House's motives are not always for the best, not always what is right. She might still idealize and even love him, but trust him?

Especially as, in this AU, we're heading into season seven. I doubt Cameron cares much about the Huddy arc -- I mean, I think she'd really enjoy it from a gossipy friendship "I've been married for a year and so clearly am full of expert advice" standpoint, but I don't think she'd be jealous or anything (although that could be a fun subplot; a sort of lingering "what could have been" complicated feeling, where you don't really want that person but seeing them with someone else in a way they never would have been with you...). If Cameron has spend S6 avoiding and angry with House, it makes sense to me that she'd instead have drifted more and more towards Cuddy: maybe she's officially "assistant Dean" at this point -- we already know she's on like 3 committees by S5 -- but now she and House are in proximity again. Maybe this is when they make up. Cameron wants to believe House is a Better Person. Maybe he's been changed by love!

And then he drives a fucking car through Cuddy's living room.

has no male friends only talks to women. can't stand men, all his friends are girls. his best friends are cameron and thirteen.

despite going awooga over girls, actually objectifies cameron and thirteen comparatively LESS than say house. is pretty respectful to women? all his one-night stands adore him. he brings cameron anxiety meds. shoots his shot with thirteen politely, takes no for an answer, and genuinely drops it.

is pretty sure that cameron doesn't want to be with him and isn't interested in him he has so much in common with his bashers

so what would it mean if house, instead, chose someone like chase as his favorite? a rich, handsome, able-bodied nepotism hire? someone who has never needed to try that hard, who coasts on his family name, who treats everything casually and has nothing to prove?

chase absolutely has trauma and issues and a sad backstory. crucially, no one — including house — is aware of it. from the outside, chase is that guy. and if house chose someone like that to mentor and push and identify with? he would not be house. it’s a complete betrayal of his principles and identity.

in a way, that’s actually the tragedy of chase and house: chase wants house to be someone he isn’t, because of who chase is. chase is never enough for anyone, always the third choice. house would care more for chase if chase was more visibly damaged (see: S6, S8), but chase has been taught to never burden or let it show. they never saw one another honestly.

(crowd claps)

trans women have it worse than trans men