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Summary: Things start to get heated back on Pantora which has Sadhbh on edge. Wolffe tries to help but Sadhbh doesn't let him.
Warnings: flashbacks, dissociation, lowered libido due to stress, conflict in early childhood
Wc: Approx. 6.2k
Notes: lots of emphasis on the warnings for this chapter here! Neither Sadhbh nor Wolffe are having a good time. But there are moments of levity because you have to find the bright moments when things are tough.
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ARC-7100 flicks through the various frequencies on the holoprojector, pausing every now and then to make sure he doesn't want to watch whatever is being shown.
An episode of Gabbing Gen'Dai flashes up on the screen and ARC-7100 quickly moves on to another frequency before Pan asks to keep it on. Podracing on Malastare appears but ARC-7100 instantly flicks away from that too, and he finally pauses on the frequency showing the latest broadcast from the Senate.
Sadhbh stiffens on the sofa and looks away, pretending to listen in to Pan and Airmid's conversation.
The demanding tone of Mas Amedda cuts through everything as he pointedly orders Senator Chuchi to explain the recent disturbances on Pantora. He continues, telling her the Republic is ready to deploy clones to the planet to shore up the division already on nearby Orto Plutonia, at the request of Chairman Cho.
Sadhbh shudders at the name.
Senator Chuchi cuts in. She tells the Vice Chair that while Pantora is not the only system dealing with this situation, the disturbances that he's referring to are due to the dwindling Republic resources. She finishes with not quite a demand but an offer that the Vice Chair visit and talk to the affected people himself.
It's an offer that he doesn't accept.
Sadhbh can't help a mean-spirited smile. Even Republic-loyal Senator Chuchi has had enough of their bullshit and Sadhbh knows that the Senator is correct. Sadhbh may have had her connections severed, but she still keeps tabs on her home planet.
Lately, the disturbances have occurred because supplies such as starship fuel and bacta have come in a lot lighter than expected. Either someone is skimming off the top or Pantora isn't being prioritised within the Republic. Other times, they erupt because new legislation is introduced that gathers resources at the top of the political hierarchy and restricts the freedoms of everyone else.
It's nothing new.
Pantora has been beset by protests, demonstrations, and heavy-handed military action for decades. Chairman Cho has been a driving hand for a lot of it, and his request for troops is particularly chilling.
The system is in the Outer Rim, almost on the edge of the Galaxy. To Sadhbh, no one in the core really cares about it, just what they can siphon out and sell on. The final nail in the coffin is when the Pantoran Assembly decides not to help with these issues, but simply clamps down on dissenting voices in a bid to retain control.
Sadhbh hopes that there isn't a repeat of the last time the situation had deteriorated. There are a lot of similarities between the last time and now. Yet this time Chairman Cho and the Pantoran Assembly now have access to an even bigger military force.
Feelings that Sadhbh had thought long suppressed grow within her.
Anger. Fear. Pain.
Her skin doesn't feel right like she's trapped. Her head feels off-kilter, like a stormcloud is forming inside her mind.
The broadcast continues to discuss the possibility of sending in troops as a deterrent.ARC-7100 watches the debate, none the wiser to Sadhbh's turmoil.
She needs to get out of here.
Sadhbh abruptly stands and heads to her room, locking the door behind her.
Stumbling, she falls onto her bed and stares out of her window, willing this feeling to pass.
Sadhbh plays in the street outside her home. One of her friends draws a hopscotch with chalk on the permacrete behind a parked speeder. Sadhbh rocks back and forth on her feet, excited to start playing. Her friend looks up at her when she's done and grins toothily at Sadhbh.
As they're about to start, they hear a rumble in the distance. A deep, chugging noise that has Sadhbh's body tensing despite not being able to place the sound.
It gets louder.
Whatever it is, it's getting closer.
Something big and dark rounds the corner of the street only a few meters away from them.
It's an armoured speeder and Sadhbh's stomach drops.
Her friend curls up behind the parked speeder, thankfully out of sight, but it's too late for Sadhbh to hide who stands frozen on the path in plain sight.
The armoured speeder, big, ugly, clunky, smelling of crude oil is in front of her before she can do anything.
A Pantoran Guard sits in the crow's nest at the top of the speeder. He sweeps his blaster out around him, looking down his sights.
Sadhbh looks up into the barrel of the blaster.
Sadhbh blinks, her heart in her mouth.
She's more confused than anything. Nothing bad had happened after that. The Guard had simply continued with his sweep after giving Sadhbh a once over through the sights. When the armoured speeder had moved on, she had went back to playing.
Her head is thumping, as if she hasn't had water in days, and there's a heaviness to her limbs that she can't quite shake. Whatever this is has left her feeling almost hungover but without the alcohol.
The chatter of conversation in the common room continues and there's still the faint drone of the broadcast. Outside her room, everything is still normal, but in here, Sadhbh feels... adrift.
Sadhbh's Room, Dorn Squad's Quarters || 0800, The next morning || Sadhbh
Sadhbh lies in her bed curled up on her side. The open window lets in the never ending hustle of Coruscant, the distant revving of speeders and rumbles of starships soothes her. A solid reminder of where she is in the galaxy.
The early morning sun begins to peek through, flickering as the light bounces off faraway speeders. Her curtains rustle when a breeze hits making a soft clack of the metal rings on the pole.
She hasn't left her room since yesterday, declining to come out to the common areas, even for dinner. Sadhbh had told them she had been feeling nauseous. But she's feeling hungry now, and that might be what it takes to get her moving this morning.
Sadhbh jumps as her door swooshes open. Soft, heavy footsteps tell her who it is before Pan rounds her bed. He's wearing a weird expression on his face, like he's approaching a wounded animal.
She sits up attempting to be casual and fluffs her hair to get rid of her bed head. Pan doesn't say anything just sits on the edge of the bed beside her, the mattress dipping.
Sadhbh closes her eyes and leans her head back against the headboard. She waits for him to speak, to probe. He doesn't and she's thankful for that. Talking about yesterday is the last thing she needs.
BEEP!
Sadhbh jumps turning to look at her comm. Sitting up straight, she grabs the comm from her beside table and checks her inbox.
It's a message from Wolffe. Not an alert or anything serious, just a normal message from him.
Sadhbh breathes a sigh of relief and her shoulders sag, but she does a cursory check to look for alerts before setting the comm back down.
"Not going to read it?"
Sadhbh leans back and shakes her head. Finally finding her words, she croaks, "In a while. Wolffe messaged."
Pan coos at her and Sadhbh feels a wobbly smile begin on her face, eager to feel more normal again.
A light tap to her upper arm has her attention back on Pan. "Read it, it might be a dick pic just for you." He playfully sings the last few words.
Sadhbh chuckles weakly, "You're the worst."
Pan smirks, "You laughed, I'm off the hook."
Taking a deep breath she leans over to grab her comm and settles back. She opens Wolffe's message and reads it:
CMDR-W-104: I'm back on Coruscant. 79s?
"Well?"
"No dick pic." No, but an invitation. A smile works itself onto her face without permission.
Pan leans over her to read it and then his body starts to shake. Glancing at him, Sadhbh rolls her eyes when she sees him screw his face up.
There's nothing out of the ordinary in Wolffe's message, in fact his previous messages are pretty much the same; blunt and concise. Very Wolffe.
They've been messaging ever since Wolffe had woken up Comet, orbiting each other closer than before.
Their conversation feed is now a mixture of short vents, sarcastic remarks, and catch ups. Light. Casual. She settles into their conversations more with every quip and Sadhbh even finds herself looking forward to talking to him.
Even though she knows that this friendship (if she dares to call it that) can fall apart if they start arguing again. That possibility is always at the back of her mind.
Things don't change for the positive that quickly, do they?
Dragging herself out of her thoughts, she gives Pan a light hearted backhanded slap to his knee as her cheeks start to heat up.
"Stop," she warns Pan. But it's too late, he laughs a split second later.
"The charisma gene must be missing from his programming. Single handedly dragging down all of clone-kind."
"There's nothing wrong with his message," she pointedly keeps looking at her screen instead of Pan.
She's about to decline Wolffe's invitation when Pan stops her typing. How he can read from that angle she'll never know.
"Wait, I didn't mean for you to say no." Concern bleeds into his words and Sadhbh looks up at him.
"I just want to sleep today."
Pan shakes his head, "Get some more sleep, but go out tonight."
So he definitely doesn't believe her sick story. Something else starts eating at her. He doesn't know why she's in bed? Does he? Pan answers her questions before she even asks them.
"Doesn't take a genius to understand that no one wants troops deployed on their home planet."
He had been paying attention to the broadcast more than she had realised. She hums non-committally, trying to act like he's wrong. It doesn't fool him.
Nodding at her comm, Pan orders her, "You're going, even if I have to toss you into a taxi in your pajamas."
Sadhbh scoffs, but honestly? Maybe he's right, she does need to do something fun to take her mind off of yesterday. And Wolffe is fun in his own dry way. She just hopes the topic of Pantora doesn't come up tonight.
Still a bit uncertain about her decision, she very much ignores Pan and starts typing. And deleting. And retyping. And so on. Until she settles on a half decent reply.
JO-EX-SML: Hey, sure thing. What about 8?
"All that editing... for that?" Pan smirks as he continues to make fun of her.
"It's too early," she grumbles.
Wolffe's Quarters, 104th Barrracks, GAR HQ || A Few Seconds Later || Wolffe
Wolffe watches as the little dots dance across the bottom of his conversation feed with Sadhbh.
JO-EX-SML: Hey, sure thing. What about 8?
Wolffe huffs something akin to a laugh, if he had the energy to do so. He knows she's not a slow typer, so what had she deleted from this particular message?
Wolffe files that away in his mind for later. He's still feeling groggy, despite being up for a few hours already, and he knows today is going to drag.
Last night had been...
It had been one of those nights where nothing he had done would help him drift off to sleep. When he finally did fall asleep, he ended up wishing he hadn't slept at all.
Wolffe thumps against the transparisteel of the escape pod.
General Plo, Sinker, and Boost have all disappeared into the vacuum of space.
There's no one left.
Just him.
There's a creak as the pod hunter outside closes its jaws on the escape pod.
A chill runs through him as a hiss begins. He knows it's the life support system without turning around.
Wolffe moves to the escape pod's computer to send out a distress message.
The lights are all out on the console.
No one's coming for him.
This time he's really going to die.
Wolffe flinches, trying to throw the memory off him. The burning sensation of bile in his throat has Wolffe hastily striding to the fresher.
Gripping the sink he focuses on the cool white ceramic, breathing deeply through his mouth. In and out. In and out. Over and over again until his body feels like it belongs to him again.
His knuckles ache.
Wolffe lets go of the sink, flexing his fingers, and makes the mistake of looking up at his reflection. Shadows lie under his eyes and he knows no amount of sleep today will fix them for tonight. He grimaces, watching the expression appear on his face with a detachment that should concern him.
A commanding officer shouldn't look like this, it's a miracle his new battalion take him seriously.
Then again, of course they take him seriously. They're from a cohort decanted a few months after his own. The original 104th had been a part of his cohort, had practically grown up with Wolffe in a way.
The new 104th don't have that familiarity, like Wolffe is walking slightly off beat from them.
Then there's Abregado. Even now, months after, it still is whispered about through the ranks. Whispered because his men dare not ask him about it directly.
The 104th give him respect and space, while he pretends not to notice the distance between him and them.
Wolffe straightens up and schools his expression into one of careful neutrality.
Walking out he spies his comm on the floor where he had dropped it, and he quickly picks it up to confirm the time to meet Sadhbh.
79s || That Evening || Wolffe
The din of 79s hits Wolffe like a freighter. The sound, the lights, the smell. Everything all at once.
It's overwhelming.
In his current state, Wolffe would rather spend the night in his quarters working at some strategies before trying to tackle the task of sleeping.
But he had invited Sadhbh here tonight and he's not going to cancel on her, so he'll grin and bear it.
He'll smile and bear it.
He'll bear it.
Slowly, Wolffe makes his way through the crowd around the dancefloor. Glancing to each side he stops sporadically to check the booths along the wall. Each time that he pauses, a different natborn approaches him.
Before losing his original battalion, he would have taken them up on their offers. Eager to learn, eager to pleasure and eager tobepleasured. Unfortunately, his bender after Abregado has drained him of all motivation to participate.
Since that night, all there has been is an absence of arousal, a hollow nausea in his gut.
Even now, he can feel it.
Wolffe doesn't want to imagine how that absence would manifest physically with a partner. He's heard the rumours of clones going on shore leave after a stressful mission only to find themselves incapable.
He's not going to add to those rumours, that's the last thing he needs.
Tonight, he declines their propositions with a curt shake of his head and Wolffe doesn't stay long enough for them to change his mind.
Everything is too much.
The bar is too loud, too bright, and has too many people. It's the exact opposite of the escape pod but somehow it's just as bad.
Blue.
Wolffe does a double take to confirm it's Sadhbh who is sitting in the booth. Along with the rest of her squad. Wolffe tenses, despite not giving his body permission to do so.
The ARC, Pan, Wolffe supposes he needs to use his name now, leans up against Sadhbh like he can't hold himself up.
Great.
There's something about Pan that rubs Wolffe the wrong way. Always has. Confidence bordering on arrogance, perseverance blurring into stubbornness. Like nothing could touch him.
Nothing has touched him, that's the problem. Wolffe had pulled Pan's file months ago and had read how Pan had excelled in everything. He even had been created as a CT and yet he had been transferred into the ARC program.
This guy has something to prove.
Wolffe takes a long breath as he realises that Sadhbh's eyes are flicking around the crowd. Is she looking for him? He moves just enough to get himself into her line of vision, eyes on her. Her expression relaxes before she gives him a smile, jerking her head toward the booth.
Wolffe doesn't realise that a corner of his mouth is tugging up, mirroring Sadhbh.
Sadhbh is sitting on the outside of the booth with enough space for Wolffe. She pats the bantha leather beside her and Wolffe settles in beside her. He nods at the others, the politest he can muster, before turning his head back to Sadhbh.
An hour passes by, and it's... fine.
Wolffe's not in the mood for talking and it appears neither is Sadhbh. They exchange a few words between drinks, but there's none of their usual banter. Her squad does most of the talking, occasionally asking Sadhbh for her opinion.
Usually, sitting with Sadhbh is fun and she pulls laughs from him even when he's in a mood like tonight.
But tonight, something is amiss.
When Sadhbh makes for the fresher, Wolffe gives Pan a pointed look. When Pan gestures at him to ask Wolffe what he wants, looking halfway smug and halfway annoyed, Wolffe asks about Sadhbh.
"None of your business."
It's gruff, unfriendly, and completely expected. Pan's acting like an overzealous sentinel if Wolffe is being generous.
Wolffe sits back in his seat and clenches his jaw.
When Sadhbh reappears some moments later, she doesn't slide back into the booth when Wolffe stands up to let her in. Instead, she remains standing and gives Pan a nod that has him waving her away.
She tilts her head at Wolffe and asks, "Want to get in on that?" She nods in the direction of the Sabaac table in the midst of being set up.
Wolffe feels himself smirk at her. Now, this is more like Sadhbh. She's a sore loser and the last few times he's had to goad her into playing him.
And even when she wins, she gets... fiery. Wolffe enjoys it.
"Remember what happened the last time?"
Sadhbh scoffs as they head to the table, the gold jewellery in her ears glinting as she gives him a look. "You double drew, so I'm not counting that."
Wolffe gives her a faux incredulous look, "You. You double drew." He's lying, he knows that, but the itch is strong within him to rile her up and shake her out of whatever mood she's in tonight.
It works.
Spinning to face him, her jaw drops open in offence, and her voice rises in pitch. "Fuck off. I do not cheat."
Wolffe ducks his head to avoid laughing at her, but he ends up doing so anyway.
Silence in front of them brings Wolffe's attention back to his surroundings and he realises that they've said all this in front of their to-be opponents. Sadhbh grimaces beside him, while he attempts to make a neutral face and fails.
They sit at the table and play a few games.
In between games, they spy Comet approaching Dorn Squad's booth to find Tena'a. Somehow Comet feels Wolffe's disapproving frown on him and turns to grin cheekily at Wolffe. Wolffe feels his frown deepening.
When Wolffe growls across the table, "Deployment tomorrow evening. Don't be late," he earns himself a delighted chuckle out of Sadhbh. Something inside him warms at the sound, glad that he might be pulling her out of her head. Wolffe can't help smirking when she reminds him with a cheeky wink that he knows where to find Comet tomorrow.
Their opponents grumble at the interruption and try to rush Wolffe on his turn. So he goes slow and deliberate, thinking about which card to dispose of even though it's a clear choice. Sadhbh picks up what he's doing and rests her chin on her palm to cover her smile.
It almost makes him forget about last night and lulls him into thinking that whatever is up with her has passed.
Eventually, the ARCs drift over to the table to say their goodnights, a partner for the night beside each of them. She gives them a soft smile while kicking one of their opponents in the shin under the table when he accuses her of somehow cheating.
When it's finally Pan's turn to leave, with a beautiful blue Mirialan on his arm, for a split second Wolffe believes that Pan will change his mind and stay. Pan thinks he's quiet, but Wolffe hears him through the noise of the bar.
"Are you sure you're okay for me to leave?" His concern confirms to Wolffe that something really is amiss with her. Wolffe supposes he'll find out later now that it's only the two of them.
"Aye, I'm good here with Wolffe, it's a normal night, remember?" Wolffe stares at his cards pretending he doesn't hear a familiar fond exasperation in Sadhbh's voice that he uses when Cody and Fox begin to coddle him.
With one last glare shared between Wolffe and Pan, Pan makes his leave. There's another round of cheating accusations from their opponents which only escalates at the reveal when Sadhbh flips up her poor pairing of two sixes.
She still wins, and that irks their opponents to no end. It irks Sadhbh too clearly by the exasperation in her voice and how aggressively wide her eyes are.
"You seriously think I'd go to the bother of cheating for two sixes? Are you out of your fucking mind?"
Wolffe huffs a laugh and stands, having had a mismatched hand. She's getting fiery as he had predicted. Circling the table he places a hand on Sadhbh's bicep.
"Come on. Before you start something."
She shoots him a deadpan look and that only makes him grin. He leads her back to the booth, now devoid of her squad.
Wolffe throws himself into the booth, the alcohol in him loosening him up. He orders a couple more drinks for them while Sadhbh shimmies along the seat in the booth beside him, getting comfortable.
It's then that Wolffe notices her deflate after the excitement of the Sabaac table, like she's run out of all her energy. He knows Sadhbh can be quiet, has sat on some nights with her when both of them had barely talked. But that companionable silence doesn't feel like that tonight.
Surely they've reached a point where they can talk straight, right?
So, he waits for her to take a couple of sips of her new drink before he jumps right in.
"What's eating at you?"
Sadhbh quirks a brow at him, wary. He frowns, normally the situation is the other way around and more often than not her irreverent questioning drags the truth out of him no matter how much he resists.
"Nothing."
She swiftly shuts him down and Wolffe feels his mouth flatten into a line. He's not going to give up so easily.
"Really? So Sabaac hasn't been the only time you've enjoyed yourself tonight?"
He tries to say it jokingly but Sadhbh looks at him strangely. Halfway between upset and exasperated and something in her expression makes him feel guilty.
She sighs, "It's just... been a long day, is all."
And Wolffe thinks he's a bad liar.
So Wolffe pushes. Fuck, is it this exhausting for her when he doesn't want to open up?
Yet she doesn't yield.
Wolffe's confusion turns to frustration as they sit there in the booth. Him pushing and her pushing back.
Why won't she talk to him?
He watches as Sadhbh gets more agitated the longer his questioning goes on, until she finally shuts him up with one statement.
"I could ask you the same thing. I'll tell you if you tell me."
Wolffe's mouth snaps closed and his mouth tightens into a line. That was uncalled for. Sadhbh can probably guess that Abregado is what's haunting him. But she also knows that he isn't going to talk about it. Not since that night when she had found him.
That's the worst part. That she knows why he's like this and she can get him out of his head without him having to open up. And yet? Wolffe realises that he doesn't really know Sadhbh apart from surface level details. Anything could be bothering her and he has no idea how to proceed.
She sees something in his expression and he has to fight the urge to look away from her. Whatever she finds has her finally mumbling, "Some days are just hard."
Wolffe sighs, his eyes closing slowly. He takes another drink and sets it down, the glass hitting the counter a bit too hard for his liking.
Outside 79s || 0130 || Sadhbh
Tonight hasn't gone well.
Sadhbh still feels strange despite how nothing has happened. Pantora is still a part of the Republic despite the rumours and nothing will come of it. Really, Sadhbh is stressing about nothing, many other planetary systems have gone through this recently, Pantora is nothing special.
Next week she'll be rolling her eyes about how she's acting at the moment.
That's what she had thought before the Separatists had declared war with the Republic.
Sadhbh turns her attention to Wolffe walking beside her. His hands are shoved into his trouser pockets and he's busy scanning the taxi queue. If Sadhbh's being honest, he looks like he's two seconds away from commandeering a taxi to get away from her and she wouldn't blame him.
He's pissed off at her tonight, she knows it.
She's been swinging between feeling strange and laughing, maybe laughing too much. She's giving herself emotional whiplash, she can't imagine how Wolffe's feeling.
Wolffe hadn't looked well when he had first sat down, with the dark shadows under his eyes and slumped shoulders. Yet she couldn't pull herself together to make him laugh or even huff. Her head hadn't been in it.
She had thought the Sabaac match would help, using the banter as a distraction from her worries. Even Wolffe, despite his fatigue, had ended up laughing and smiling. It had felt good getting back into their rhythm.
But it hadn't lasted once all her energy had left her.
Every time he had asked what's wrong with her, she could feel the rapport between them dissipating a little bit more. Sadhbh had been so anxious that he would bring up Pantora, that she threw his own withdrawn mood in his face.
His face afterwards had been...
Heat pricks behind her eyes and she frowns at the ground while she pulls herself together.
Walking further away from 79s, it's clear that Sadhbh is left with one choice: does she bite the bullet and tell him what's been bothering her? Or does she end the night here and now, hoping that she hasn't gone and fucked things up?
If she brings up Pantora, there's a risk that Wolffe will ask her opinion on it and from there they'll fall back into arguing. Sadhbh now knows first hand that the CIS aren't the option they had presented themselves before the war. At the same time, the Republic's intense focus on the war makes her feel like the very people she's working for are being discarded.
Sadhbh hasn't changed and neither has Wolffe.
Maybe they can't change. Maybe whatever they've been building is only good for something casual. Maybe sharing sarcastic remarks while they people watch is their limit.
Sadhbh looks down at her feet while she toes a divot in the duracrete with her boot. Out of the corner of her eye she notices Wolffe turning to face her. She catches her bottom lip between her teeth before she looks back up to meet his eyes.
Wolffe looks strangely cautious, as if he expects her to cut and run. Ironic given that's what she had thought about him only a few minutes ago. His posture is forcibly casual, but Sadhbh can see the tension running through him.
"We're deploying tomorrow evening. I'll comm you."
There's an inflection to his tone at the end that makes it sounds more like a question. That realisation makes a spasm of guilt run through Sadhbh and once again that burning sensation behind her eyes is back.
She exhales long and deep giving him a weak smile, "Good. I want to hear all about it."
There it is. That soft smile of his.
It's the first time he's given her that all evening and Sadhbh wishes it hadn't been at the end of tonight. Her own smile wobbles on her face before she repeats herself.
"I do want to hear all about it."
She doesn't know if he will really comm, but his smile widens making his eyes crinkle. It makes him look younger, a lot like before Abregado.
Wolffe gestures towards the taxi queue, looking lighter than he has all evening. Nodding, Sadhbh joins him and when it's finally her turn to get in, she spins around to Wolffe.
He hadn't been expecting her to do that, judging from his widening eyes.
She glances between his eyes willing her mouth to explain herself, but all her mouth does is open and close. The taxi driver yells out to her to get a move on and Sadhbh jumps. With the pressure of the driver and the restless queue behind Wolffe she takes a risk.
"Are you free before deployment?"
He clearly hadn't been expecting that. Wolffe looks slightly taken aback before he recovers and steps closer.
"I can spare some time in the morning."
Sadhbh exhales, relieved to be given another chance. "How about caf at that little hole in the wall near the barracks?"
His mouth twitches upwards, "Yeah, say ten. I'll need the break by then."
Nodding, Sadhbh finally climbs into the taxi and Wolffe shuts the door for her.
The taxi driver grumbles all the way to the Jedi Temple about lost fares. Sadhbh barely hears him. She leans her head against the transparisteel and lets her eyes unfocus until the lights around her blend together.
Kay's Kaf, Outside GAR HQ || 1000, The Next Day || Sadhbh
Clones and natborn officers mill about the walkway that skirts the district overlooking GAR HQ.
Kay's Kaf, the hole in the wall kiosk beloved by the entire GAR, is never quiet. Kay herself, a Mikkian, always greets her customers with a smile and a wave of her head tendrils.
Kay hands Sadhbh two large cups and with a rushed goodbye she's onto the next customer. As Sadhbh gets out of the way of the burgeoning crowd, Bee-Ar beeps and trills to get her attention from the table he's holding for her.
He's picked a good spot. It overlooks the chasm between the district and GAR HQ. The air lanes within it are full of speeders at this time of the day and while she can't make out the details, she sees numerous beings go about their daily business tens of levels below her.
Movement in the crowd to her left has her turning her head. Wolffe falls in step with her, so close that their arms brush against each other, leaving tingles along her arm. He looks better this morning; the shadows beneath his eyes aren't as pronounced and the lines on his forehead have faded a bit.
"With that much caf I'll not need another until tomorrow." His mouth quirks up as she hands him his cup. "Thanks," he says before taking a big sip.
Medium roast caf, with lots of bantha milk, and a healthy dose of two different syrups. Topped with creamy foam. Saying that Wolffe has a sweet tooth is an understatement. Sadhbh's pretty certain that his affinity for sugary items supersedes even her ARCs' tastes.
"I owe you after last night."
Wolffe pauses his sip at Sadhbh's words. She clears her throat and keeps walking, intent on getting to Bee-Ar before he starts zapping people.
Too late.
A clone in stock armour yelps up ahead and waves his hand in the air. Sadhbh groans walking faster to scold Bee-Ar. Bee-Ar, on the other hand, is beeping all the swear words he knows at the poor clone.
"No." Sadhbh points at Bee-Ar now that she's closed the distance. Bee-Ar swivels his head around to look at Sadhbh, his leg still sticking up in the direction of the clone.
"Don't do it again." She keeps her voice firm and displeasure on her face. Eventually, Bee-Ar puts his leg down trilling about how the clone wasn't listening to him. The clone in question looks between the droid and Sadhbh, completely perplexed.
Sadhbh apologises to the clone for Bee-Ar's behaviour and she's relieved when the clone accepts it and walks away.
Wolffe snorts as he sits down beside Bee-Ar. When Bee-Ar hones in on Wolffe, Sadhbh steps between them and glares at Bee-Ar.
"Not him."
"Beep bwoop." And Bee-Ar flops down into a sitting position, his legs sticking out in front.
"You do know I know binary, droid?" Wolffe smirks into the lid of his caf.
"Bee-eep."
Sadhbh sits next to Wolffe and sighs as she sips her herbal tea. They people watch for a few minutes, letting their drinks warm them on this unseasonally chilly morning.
Sadhbh glances over to Wolffe to see that his eyes are closed as he tilts his face to the sun. He looks peaceful, something she had never thought she could say about him. But he does.
She lets another few minutes go by before she cuts to the chase.
"I'm sorry about last night. Throwing Abregado in your face... It was completely uncalled for." she trails off. This had been easier when she had stood in front of her mirror this morning.
"Did I do something?" Wolffe turns to face her when he asks.
Sadhbh feels her mouth tug down and she shakes her head. "No, you haven't. There's just something else going on... it's distracting."
Wolffe's eyes bore into her own and she finds that she can't look away.
"Something... personal?"
She shakes her head again, "No, it's...." she fidgets with her hands, "yeah, it is." As she finishes she stretches her legs out in front of her, crossing them at her ankles. A few moments later, Wolffe shifts to mirror her.
"You want to talk about it?"
She hadn't been expecting that. Sadhbh looks up at him surprised and for a third time she shakes her head, but now it's accompanied with a small smile.
"I'd rather not think about it." Wolffe nods as she talks and the way he looks concerned encourages her to continue. "Besides, by next week the whole thing will be solved and forgotten, I'm just... stressing over nothing."
He doesn't appear to believe her, Wolffe keeps studying her as he lifts his cup up for another sip. Bee-Ar doesn't help by loudly sighing beside her.
"But it's not you." Sadhbh emphasises her words watching him to make sure that he takes them on board.
Wolffe's brows raise slightly and inclines his head further toward her. "Imagine saying that only a few months ago."
It catches her by surprise and Sadhbh laughs hard enough to choke on her drink. Tea gets spluttered in every direction which makes her laugh even more.
She must look like a mess. Sadhbh covers her mouth trying to stop choking and she knows her face must be turning indigo from the embarrassment by now so she looks away from Wolffe.
Distantly she hears Wolffe chuckle and she feels their bench dip as he moves. Napkins appear in front of her and she gratefully takes them, nodding at Wolffe as she mops herself up.
He's grinning when she finishes fixing herself, his eyes glinting with mischief as she finally looks up at him again, and Sadhbh has to look away, laughing again.
His own quiet laughter joins in with hers and Sadhbh is suddenly so glad that she had met him here this morning.
Beep!
Sadhbh flinches and twists her head towards the sound. Wolffe checks his comm on his wrist and hums thoughtfully to himself, reading the message. Sighing he meets Sadhbh's gaze and she knows their time is up.
Wordlessly they rise and Bee-Ar jumps up onto Sadhbh's arm to climb up on her back. Wolffe rubs the back of his neck evidently wanting to say something but whatever it is he decides against it.
When it becomes clear he's not going to say whatever it is, Sadhbh offers, "Until next time?"
"Yeah. I'll comm you." This morning it sounds like the confident statement it is, not the question from last night.
"I wager you make it to orbit before you need to vent about something." Sadhbh purses her lips to try to stop smiling, glad that they're back in their comfortable banter.
"That's fucking generous. I don't think we'll have left the dock before the 'Pack do something." There's no heat to his grumbling and his eye roll is more fond than annoyed.
With one last goodbye, he steps away, smirking when Sadhbh gives him a lazy salute.
Hi no I'm pissed off about the age verification laws and bills again. So many grown adults out there going, "The internet should be safe for my children," with all the brazenness of someone walking into a bar and saying, "You need to stop serving alcoholic drinks because I want to drop my children off here all day while I'm at work." Except at the same time they're also demanding that arsenic be added to all the drinks, including the ones being served to children
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These pescatarian birds are directly exposed to PFAS contamination due to the island's position near the St. Lawrence Seaway.
Over fifty years of data show a peak in PFAS (also known as "forever chemicals") content in seabird eggs in the 90s, followed by a decrease as regulations went into effect. The most recent findings show a 70% decrease of most common PFAS.
While continued vigilance a regulation is needed, this data indicates that regulations are working to reduce PFAS concentrations in marine ecosystems.
Yes!!!! I did a review of literature on PFASs in human drinking water about half a year ago, and there is a lot of really good progress! Please celebrate this, please don't let this solution be forgotten (at least so quickly) as the ozone layer or acid rain.
We are making genuine progress! Producers are dramatically altering how much they use PFAS and how much gets released in effluent, but also there's a lot better understanding of how to remove PFAS from the environment!
Summary: Things start to get heated back on Pantora which has Sadhbh on edge. Wolffe tries to help but Sadhbh doesn't let him.
Warnings: flashbacks, dissociation, lowered libido due to stress, conflict in early childhood
Wc: Approx. 6.2k
Notes: lots of emphasis on the warnings for this chapter here! Neither Sadhbh nor Wolffe are having a good time. But there are moments of levity because you have to find the bright moments when things are tough.
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ARC-7100 flicks through the various frequencies on the holoprojector, pausing every now and then to make sure he doesn't want to watch whatever is being shown.
An episode of Gabbing Gen'Dai flashes up on the screen and ARC-7100 quickly moves on to another frequency before Pan asks to keep it on. Podracing on Malastare appears but ARC-7100 instantly flicks away from that too, and he finally pauses on the frequency showing the latest broadcast from the Senate.
Sadhbh stiffens on the sofa and looks away, pretending to listen in to Pan and Airmid's conversation.
The demanding tone of Mas Amedda cuts through everything as he pointedly orders Senator Chuchi to explain the recent disturbances on Pantora. He continues, telling her the Republic is ready to deploy clones to the planet to shore up the division already on nearby Orto Plutonia, at the request of Chairman Cho.
Sadhbh shudders at the name.
Senator Chuchi cuts in. She tells the Vice Chair that while Pantora is not the only system dealing with this situation, the disturbances that he's referring to are due to the dwindling Republic resources. She finishes with not quite a demand but an offer that the Vice Chair visit and talk to the affected people himself.
It's an offer that he doesn't accept.
Sadhbh can't help a mean-spirited smile. Even Republic-loyal Senator Chuchi has had enough of their bullshit and Sadhbh knows that the Senator is correct. Sadhbh may have had her connections severed, but she still keeps tabs on her home planet.
Lately, the disturbances have occurred because supplies such as starship fuel and bacta have come in a lot lighter than expected. Either someone is skimming off the top or Pantora isn't being prioritised within the Republic. Other times, they erupt because new legislation is introduced that gathers resources at the top of the political hierarchy and restricts the freedoms of everyone else.
It's nothing new.
Pantora has been beset by protests, demonstrations, and heavy-handed military action for decades. Chairman Cho has been a driving hand for a lot of it, and his request for troops is particularly chilling.
The system is in the Outer Rim, almost on the edge of the Galaxy. To Sadhbh, no one in the core really cares about it, just what they can siphon out and sell on. The final nail in the coffin is when the Pantoran Assembly decides not to help with these issues, but simply clamps down on dissenting voices in a bid to retain control.
Sadhbh hopes that there isn't a repeat of the last time the situation had deteriorated. There are a lot of similarities between the last time and now. Yet this time Chairman Cho and the Pantoran Assembly now have access to an even bigger military force.
Feelings that Sadhbh had thought long suppressed grow within her.
Anger. Fear. Pain.
Her skin doesn't feel right like she's trapped. Her head feels off-kilter, like a stormcloud is forming inside her mind.
The broadcast continues to discuss the possibility of sending in troops as a deterrent.ARC-7100 watches the debate, none the wiser to Sadhbh's turmoil.
She needs to get out of here.
Sadhbh abruptly stands and heads to her room, locking the door behind her.
Stumbling, she falls onto her bed and stares out of her window, willing this feeling to pass.
Sadhbh plays in the street outside her home. One of her friends draws a hopscotch with chalk on the permacrete behind a parked speeder. Sadhbh rocks back and forth on her feet, excited to start playing. Her friend looks up at her when she's done and grins toothily at Sadhbh.
As they're about to start, they hear a rumble in the distance. A deep, chugging noise that has Sadhbh's body tensing despite not being able to place the sound.
It gets louder.
Whatever it is, it's getting closer.
Something big and dark rounds the corner of the street only a few meters away from them.
It's an armoured speeder and Sadhbh's stomach drops.
Her friend curls up behind the parked speeder, thankfully out of sight, but it's too late for Sadhbh to hide who stands frozen on the path in plain sight.
The armoured speeder, big, ugly, clunky, smelling of crude oil is in front of her before she can do anything.
A Pantoran Guard sits in the crow's nest at the top of the speeder. He sweeps his blaster out around him, looking down his sights.
Sadhbh looks up into the barrel of the blaster.
Sadhbh blinks, her heart in her mouth.
She's more confused than anything. Nothing bad had happened after that. The Guard had simply continued with his sweep after giving Sadhbh a once over through the sights. When the armoured speeder had moved on, she had went back to playing.
Her head is thumping, as if she hasn't had water in days, and there's a heaviness to her limbs that she can't quite shake. Whatever this is has left her feeling almost hungover but without the alcohol.
The chatter of conversation in the common room continues and there's still the faint drone of the broadcast. Outside her room, everything is still normal, but in here, Sadhbh feels... adrift.
Sadhbh's Room, Dorn Squad's Quarters || 0800, The next morning || Sadhbh
Sadhbh lies in her bed curled up on her side. The open window lets in the never ending hustle of Coruscant, the distant revving of speeders and rumbles of starships soothes her. A solid reminder of where she is in the galaxy.
The early morning sun begins to peek through, flickering as the light bounces off faraway speeders. Her curtains rustle when a breeze hits making a soft clack of the metal rings on the pole.
She hasn't left her room since yesterday, declining to come out to the common areas, even for dinner. Sadhbh had told them she had been feeling nauseous. But she's feeling hungry now, and that might be what it takes to get her moving this morning.
Sadhbh jumps as her door swooshes open. Soft, heavy footsteps tell her who it is before Pan rounds her bed. He's wearing a weird expression on his face, like he's approaching a wounded animal.
She sits up attempting to be casual and fluffs her hair to get rid of her bed head. Pan doesn't say anything just sits on the edge of the bed beside her, the mattress dipping.
Sadhbh closes her eyes and leans her head back against the headboard. She waits for him to speak, to probe. He doesn't and she's thankful for that. Talking about yesterday is the last thing she needs.
BEEP!
Sadhbh jumps turning to look at her comm. Sitting up straight, she grabs the comm from her beside table and checks her inbox.
It's a message from Wolffe. Not an alert or anything serious, just a normal message from him.
Sadhbh breathes a sigh of relief and her shoulders sag, but she does a cursory check to look for alerts before setting the comm back down.
"Not going to read it?"
Sadhbh leans back and shakes her head. Finally finding her words, she croaks, "In a while. Wolffe messaged."
Pan coos at her and Sadhbh feels a wobbly smile begin on her face, eager to feel more normal again.
A light tap to her upper arm has her attention back on Pan. "Read it, it might be a dick pic just for you." He playfully sings the last few words.
Sadhbh chuckles weakly, "You're the worst."
Pan smirks, "You laughed, I'm off the hook."
Taking a deep breath she leans over to grab her comm and settles back. She opens Wolffe's message and reads it:
CMDR-W-104: I'm back on Coruscant. 79s?
"Well?"
"No dick pic." No, but an invitation. A smile works itself onto her face without permission.
Pan leans over her to read it and then his body starts to shake. Glancing at him, Sadhbh rolls her eyes when she sees him screw his face up.
There's nothing out of the ordinary in Wolffe's message, in fact his previous messages are pretty much the same; blunt and concise. Very Wolffe.
They've been messaging ever since Wolffe had woken up Comet, orbiting each other closer than before.
Their conversation feed is now a mixture of short vents, sarcastic remarks, and catch ups. Light. Casual. She settles into their conversations more with every quip and Sadhbh even finds herself looking forward to talking to him.
Even though she knows that this friendship (if she dares to call it that) can fall apart if they start arguing again. That possibility is always at the back of her mind.
Things don't change for the positive that quickly, do they?
Dragging herself out of her thoughts, she gives Pan a light hearted backhanded slap to his knee as her cheeks start to heat up.
"Stop," she warns Pan. But it's too late, he laughs a split second later.
"The charisma gene must be missing from his programming. Single handedly dragging down all of clone-kind."
"There's nothing wrong with his message," she pointedly keeps looking at her screen instead of Pan.
She's about to decline Wolffe's invitation when Pan stops her typing. How he can read from that angle she'll never know.
"Wait, I didn't mean for you to say no." Concern bleeds into his words and Sadhbh looks up at him.
"I just want to sleep today."
Pan shakes his head, "Get some more sleep, but go out tonight."
So he definitely doesn't believe her sick story. Something else starts eating at her. He doesn't know why she's in bed? Does he? Pan answers her questions before she even asks them.
"Doesn't take a genius to understand that no one wants troops deployed on their home planet."
He had been paying attention to the broadcast more than she had realised. She hums non-committally, trying to act like he's wrong. It doesn't fool him.
Nodding at her comm, Pan orders her, "You're going, even if I have to toss you into a taxi in your pajamas."
Sadhbh scoffs, but honestly? Maybe he's right, she does need to do something fun to take her mind off of yesterday. And Wolffe is fun in his own dry way. She just hopes the topic of Pantora doesn't come up tonight.
Still a bit uncertain about her decision, she very much ignores Pan and starts typing. And deleting. And retyping. And so on. Until she settles on a half decent reply.
JO-EX-SML: Hey, sure thing. What about 8?
"All that editing... for that?" Pan smirks as he continues to make fun of her.
"It's too early," she grumbles.
Wolffe's Quarters, 104th Barrracks, GAR HQ || A Few Seconds Later || Wolffe
Wolffe watches as the little dots dance across the bottom of his conversation feed with Sadhbh.
JO-EX-SML: Hey, sure thing. What about 8?
Wolffe huffs something akin to a laugh, if he had the energy to do so. He knows she's not a slow typer, so what had she deleted from this particular message?
Wolffe files that away in his mind for later. He's still feeling groggy, despite being up for a few hours already, and he knows today is going to drag.
Last night had been...
It had been one of those nights where nothing he had done would help him drift off to sleep. When he finally did fall asleep, he ended up wishing he hadn't slept at all.
Wolffe thumps against the transparisteel of the escape pod.
General Plo, Sinker, and Boost have all disappeared into the vacuum of space.
There's no one left.
Just him.
There's a creak as the pod hunter outside closes its jaws on the escape pod.
A chill runs through him as a hiss begins. He knows it's the life support system without turning around.
Wolffe moves to the escape pod's computer to send out a distress message.
The lights are all out on the console.
No one's coming for him.
This time he's really going to die.
Wolffe flinches, trying to throw the memory off him. The burning sensation of bile in his throat has Wolffe hastily striding to the fresher.
Gripping the sink he focuses on the cool white ceramic, breathing deeply through his mouth. In and out. In and out. Over and over again until his body feels like it belongs to him again.
His knuckles ache.
Wolffe lets go of the sink, flexing his fingers, and makes the mistake of looking up at his reflection. Shadows lie under his eyes and he knows no amount of sleep today will fix them for tonight. He grimaces, watching the expression appear on his face with a detachment that should concern him.
A commanding officer shouldn't look like this, it's a miracle his new battalion take him seriously.
Then again, of course they take him seriously. They're from a cohort decanted a few months after his own. The original 104th had been a part of his cohort, had practically grown up with Wolffe in a way.
The new 104th don't have that familiarity, like Wolffe is walking slightly off beat from them.
Then there's Abregado. Even now, months after, it still is whispered about through the ranks. Whispered because his men dare not ask him about it directly.
The 104th give him respect and space, while he pretends not to notice the distance between him and them.
Wolffe straightens up and schools his expression into one of careful neutrality.
Walking out he spies his comm on the floor where he had dropped it, and he quickly picks it up to confirm the time to meet Sadhbh.
79s || That Evening || Wolffe
The din of 79s hits Wolffe like a freighter. The sound, the lights, the smell. Everything all at once.
It's overwhelming.
In his current state, Wolffe would rather spend the night in his quarters working at some strategies before trying to tackle the task of sleeping.
But he had invited Sadhbh here tonight and he's not going to cancel on her, so he'll grin and bear it.
He'll smile and bear it.
He'll bear it.
Slowly, Wolffe makes his way through the crowd around the dancefloor. Glancing to each side he stops sporadically to check the booths along the wall. Each time that he pauses, a different natborn approaches him.
Before losing his original battalion, he would have taken them up on their offers. Eager to learn, eager to pleasure and eager tobepleasured. Unfortunately, his bender after Abregado has drained him of all motivation to participate.
Since that night, all there has been is an absence of arousal, a hollow nausea in his gut.
Even now, he can feel it.
Wolffe doesn't want to imagine how that absence would manifest physically with a partner. He's heard the rumours of clones going on shore leave after a stressful mission only to find themselves incapable.
He's not going to add to those rumours, that's the last thing he needs.
Tonight, he declines their propositions with a curt shake of his head and Wolffe doesn't stay long enough for them to change his mind.
Everything is too much.
The bar is too loud, too bright, and has too many people. It's the exact opposite of the escape pod but somehow it's just as bad.
Blue.
Wolffe does a double take to confirm it's Sadhbh who is sitting in the booth. Along with the rest of her squad. Wolffe tenses, despite not giving his body permission to do so.
The ARC, Pan, Wolffe supposes he needs to use his name now, leans up against Sadhbh like he can't hold himself up.
Great.
There's something about Pan that rubs Wolffe the wrong way. Always has. Confidence bordering on arrogance, perseverance blurring into stubbornness. Like nothing could touch him.
Nothing has touched him, that's the problem. Wolffe had pulled Pan's file months ago and had read how Pan had excelled in everything. He even had been created as a CT and yet he had been transferred into the ARC program.
This guy has something to prove.
Wolffe takes a long breath as he realises that Sadhbh's eyes are flicking around the crowd. Is she looking for him? He moves just enough to get himself into her line of vision, eyes on her. Her expression relaxes before she gives him a smile, jerking her head toward the booth.
Wolffe doesn't realise that a corner of his mouth is tugging up, mirroring Sadhbh.
Sadhbh is sitting on the outside of the booth with enough space for Wolffe. She pats the bantha leather beside her and Wolffe settles in beside her. He nods at the others, the politest he can muster, before turning his head back to Sadhbh.
An hour passes by, and it's... fine.
Wolffe's not in the mood for talking and it appears neither is Sadhbh. They exchange a few words between drinks, but there's none of their usual banter. Her squad does most of the talking, occasionally asking Sadhbh for her opinion.
Usually, sitting with Sadhbh is fun and she pulls laughs from him even when he's in a mood like tonight.
But tonight, something is amiss.
When Sadhbh makes for the fresher, Wolffe gives Pan a pointed look. When Pan gestures at him to ask Wolffe what he wants, looking halfway smug and halfway annoyed, Wolffe asks about Sadhbh.
"None of your business."
It's gruff, unfriendly, and completely expected. Pan's acting like an overzealous sentinel if Wolffe is being generous.
Wolffe sits back in his seat and clenches his jaw.
When Sadhbh reappears some moments later, she doesn't slide back into the booth when Wolffe stands up to let her in. Instead, she remains standing and gives Pan a nod that has him waving her away.
She tilts her head at Wolffe and asks, "Want to get in on that?" She nods in the direction of the Sabaac table in the midst of being set up.
Wolffe feels himself smirk at her. Now, this is more like Sadhbh. She's a sore loser and the last few times he's had to goad her into playing him.
And even when she wins, she gets... fiery. Wolffe enjoys it.
"Remember what happened the last time?"
Sadhbh scoffs as they head to the table, the gold jewellery in her ears glinting as she gives him a look. "You double drew, so I'm not counting that."
Wolffe gives her a faux incredulous look, "You. You double drew." He's lying, he knows that, but the itch is strong within him to rile her up and shake her out of whatever mood she's in tonight.
It works.
Spinning to face him, her jaw drops open in offence, and her voice rises in pitch. "Fuck off. I do not cheat."
Wolffe ducks his head to avoid laughing at her, but he ends up doing so anyway.
Silence in front of them brings Wolffe's attention back to his surroundings and he realises that they've said all this in front of their to-be opponents. Sadhbh grimaces beside him, while he attempts to make a neutral face and fails.
They sit at the table and play a few games.
In between games, they spy Comet approaching Dorn Squad's booth to find Tena'a. Somehow Comet feels Wolffe's disapproving frown on him and turns to grin cheekily at Wolffe. Wolffe feels his frown deepening.
When Wolffe growls across the table, "Deployment tomorrow evening. Don't be late," he earns himself a delighted chuckle out of Sadhbh. Something inside him warms at the sound, glad that he might be pulling her out of her head. Wolffe can't help smirking when she reminds him with a cheeky wink that he knows where to find Comet tomorrow.
Their opponents grumble at the interruption and try to rush Wolffe on his turn. So he goes slow and deliberate, thinking about which card to dispose of even though it's a clear choice. Sadhbh picks up what he's doing and rests her chin on her palm to cover her smile.
It almost makes him forget about last night and lulls him into thinking that whatever is up with her has passed.
Eventually, the ARCs drift over to the table to say their goodnights, a partner for the night beside each of them. She gives them a soft smile while kicking one of their opponents in the shin under the table when he accuses her of somehow cheating.
When it's finally Pan's turn to leave, with a beautiful blue Mirialan on his arm, for a split second Wolffe believes that Pan will change his mind and stay. Pan thinks he's quiet, but Wolffe hears him through the noise of the bar.
"Are you sure you're okay for me to leave?" His concern confirms to Wolffe that something really is amiss with her. Wolffe supposes he'll find out later now that it's only the two of them.
"Aye, I'm good here with Wolffe, it's a normal night, remember?" Wolffe stares at his cards pretending he doesn't hear a familiar fond exasperation in Sadhbh's voice that he uses when Cody and Fox begin to coddle him.
With one last glare shared between Wolffe and Pan, Pan makes his leave. There's another round of cheating accusations from their opponents which only escalates at the reveal when Sadhbh flips up her poor pairing of two sixes.
She still wins, and that irks their opponents to no end. It irks Sadhbh too clearly by the exasperation in her voice and how aggressively wide her eyes are.
"You seriously think I'd go to the bother of cheating for two sixes? Are you out of your fucking mind?"
Wolffe huffs a laugh and stands, having had a mismatched hand. She's getting fiery as he had predicted. Circling the table he places a hand on Sadhbh's bicep.
"Come on. Before you start something."
She shoots him a deadpan look and that only makes him grin. He leads her back to the booth, now devoid of her squad.
Wolffe throws himself into the booth, the alcohol in him loosening him up. He orders a couple more drinks for them while Sadhbh shimmies along the seat in the booth beside him, getting comfortable.
It's then that Wolffe notices her deflate after the excitement of the Sabaac table, like she's run out of all her energy. He knows Sadhbh can be quiet, has sat on some nights with her when both of them had barely talked. But that companionable silence doesn't feel like that tonight.
Surely they've reached a point where they can talk straight, right?
So, he waits for her to take a couple of sips of her new drink before he jumps right in.
"What's eating at you?"
Sadhbh quirks a brow at him, wary. He frowns, normally the situation is the other way around and more often than not her irreverent questioning drags the truth out of him no matter how much he resists.
"Nothing."
She swiftly shuts him down and Wolffe feels his mouth flatten into a line. He's not going to give up so easily.
"Really? So Sabaac hasn't been the only time you've enjoyed yourself tonight?"
He tries to say it jokingly but Sadhbh looks at him strangely. Halfway between upset and exasperated and something in her expression makes him feel guilty.
She sighs, "It's just... been a long day, is all."
And Wolffe thinks he's a bad liar.
So Wolffe pushes. Fuck, is it this exhausting for her when he doesn't want to open up?
Yet she doesn't yield.
Wolffe's confusion turns to frustration as they sit there in the booth. Him pushing and her pushing back.
Why won't she talk to him?
He watches as Sadhbh gets more agitated the longer his questioning goes on, until she finally shuts him up with one statement.
"I could ask you the same thing. I'll tell you if you tell me."
Wolffe's mouth snaps closed and his mouth tightens into a line. That was uncalled for. Sadhbh can probably guess that Abregado is what's haunting him. But she also knows that he isn't going to talk about it. Not since that night when she had found him.
That's the worst part. That she knows why he's like this and she can get him out of his head without him having to open up. And yet? Wolffe realises that he doesn't really know Sadhbh apart from surface level details. Anything could be bothering her and he has no idea how to proceed.
She sees something in his expression and he has to fight the urge to look away from her. Whatever she finds has her finally mumbling, "Some days are just hard."
Wolffe sighs, his eyes closing slowly. He takes another drink and sets it down, the glass hitting the counter a bit too hard for his liking.
Outside 79s || 0130 || Sadhbh
Tonight hasn't gone well.
Sadhbh still feels strange despite how nothing has happened. Pantora is still a part of the Republic despite the rumours and nothing will come of it. Really, Sadhbh is stressing about nothing, many other planetary systems have gone through this recently, Pantora is nothing special.
Next week she'll be rolling her eyes about how she's acting at the moment.
That's what she had thought before the Separatists had declared war with the Republic.
Sadhbh turns her attention to Wolffe walking beside her. His hands are shoved into his trouser pockets and he's busy scanning the taxi queue. If Sadhbh's being honest, he looks like he's two seconds away from commandeering a taxi to get away from her and she wouldn't blame him.
He's pissed off at her tonight, she knows it.
She's been swinging between feeling strange and laughing, maybe laughing too much. She's giving herself emotional whiplash, she can't imagine how Wolffe's feeling.
Wolffe hadn't looked well when he had first sat down, with the dark shadows under his eyes and slumped shoulders. Yet she couldn't pull herself together to make him laugh or even huff. Her head hadn't been in it.
She had thought the Sabaac match would help, using the banter as a distraction from her worries. Even Wolffe, despite his fatigue, had ended up laughing and smiling. It had felt good getting back into their rhythm.
But it hadn't lasted once all her energy had left her.
Every time he had asked what's wrong with her, she could feel the rapport between them dissipating a little bit more. Sadhbh had been so anxious that he would bring up Pantora, that she threw his own withdrawn mood in his face.
His face afterwards had been...
Heat pricks behind her eyes and she frowns at the ground while she pulls herself together.
Walking further away from 79s, it's clear that Sadhbh is left with one choice: does she bite the bullet and tell him what's been bothering her? Or does she end the night here and now, hoping that she hasn't gone and fucked things up?
If she brings up Pantora, there's a risk that Wolffe will ask her opinion on it and from there they'll fall back into arguing. Sadhbh now knows first hand that the CIS aren't the option they had presented themselves before the war. At the same time, the Republic's intense focus on the war makes her feel like the very people she's working for are being discarded.
Sadhbh hasn't changed and neither has Wolffe.
Maybe they can't change. Maybe whatever they've been building is only good for something casual. Maybe sharing sarcastic remarks while they people watch is their limit.
Sadhbh looks down at her feet while she toes a divot in the duracrete with her boot. Out of the corner of her eye she notices Wolffe turning to face her. She catches her bottom lip between her teeth before she looks back up to meet his eyes.
Wolffe looks strangely cautious, as if he expects her to cut and run. Ironic given that's what she had thought about him only a few minutes ago. His posture is forcibly casual, but Sadhbh can see the tension running through him.
"We're deploying tomorrow evening. I'll comm you."
There's an inflection to his tone at the end that makes it sounds more like a question. That realisation makes a spasm of guilt run through Sadhbh and once again that burning sensation behind her eyes is back.
She exhales long and deep giving him a weak smile, "Good. I want to hear all about it."
There it is. That soft smile of his.
It's the first time he's given her that all evening and Sadhbh wishes it hadn't been at the end of tonight. Her own smile wobbles on her face before she repeats herself.
"I do want to hear all about it."
She doesn't know if he will really comm, but his smile widens making his eyes crinkle. It makes him look younger, a lot like before Abregado.
Wolffe gestures towards the taxi queue, looking lighter than he has all evening. Nodding, Sadhbh joins him and when it's finally her turn to get in, she spins around to Wolffe.
He hadn't been expecting her to do that, judging from his widening eyes.
She glances between his eyes willing her mouth to explain herself, but all her mouth does is open and close. The taxi driver yells out to her to get a move on and Sadhbh jumps. With the pressure of the driver and the restless queue behind Wolffe she takes a risk.
"Are you free before deployment?"
He clearly hadn't been expecting that. Wolffe looks slightly taken aback before he recovers and steps closer.
"I can spare some time in the morning."
Sadhbh exhales, relieved to be given another chance. "How about caf at that little hole in the wall near the barracks?"
His mouth twitches upwards, "Yeah, say ten. I'll need the break by then."
Nodding, Sadhbh finally climbs into the taxi and Wolffe shuts the door for her.
The taxi driver grumbles all the way to the Jedi Temple about lost fares. Sadhbh barely hears him. She leans her head against the transparisteel and lets her eyes unfocus until the lights around her blend together.
Kay's Kaf, Outside GAR HQ || 1000, The Next Day || Sadhbh
Clones and natborn officers mill about the walkway that skirts the district overlooking GAR HQ.
Kay's Kaf, the hole in the wall kiosk beloved by the entire GAR, is never quiet. Kay herself, a Mikkian, always greets her customers with a smile and a wave of her head tendrils.
Kay hands Sadhbh two large cups and with a rushed goodbye she's onto the next customer. As Sadhbh gets out of the way of the burgeoning crowd, Bee-Ar beeps and trills to get her attention from the table he's holding for her.
He's picked a good spot. It overlooks the chasm between the district and GAR HQ. The air lanes within it are full of speeders at this time of the day and while she can't make out the details, she sees numerous beings go about their daily business tens of levels below her.
Movement in the crowd to her left has her turning her head. Wolffe falls in step with her, so close that their arms brush against each other, leaving tingles along her arm. He looks better this morning; the shadows beneath his eyes aren't as pronounced and the lines on his forehead have faded a bit.
"With that much caf I'll not need another until tomorrow." His mouth quirks up as she hands him his cup. "Thanks," he says before taking a big sip.
Medium roast caf, with lots of bantha milk, and a healthy dose of two different syrups. Topped with creamy foam. Saying that Wolffe has a sweet tooth is an understatement. Sadhbh's pretty certain that his affinity for sugary items supersedes even her ARCs' tastes.
"I owe you after last night."
Wolffe pauses his sip at Sadhbh's words. She clears her throat and keeps walking, intent on getting to Bee-Ar before he starts zapping people.
Too late.
A clone in stock armour yelps up ahead and waves his hand in the air. Sadhbh groans walking faster to scold Bee-Ar. Bee-Ar, on the other hand, is beeping all the swear words he knows at the poor clone.
"No." Sadhbh points at Bee-Ar now that she's closed the distance. Bee-Ar swivels his head around to look at Sadhbh, his leg still sticking up in the direction of the clone.
"Don't do it again." She keeps her voice firm and displeasure on her face. Eventually, Bee-Ar puts his leg down trilling about how the clone wasn't listening to him. The clone in question looks between the droid and Sadhbh, completely perplexed.
Sadhbh apologises to the clone for Bee-Ar's behaviour and she's relieved when the clone accepts it and walks away.
Wolffe snorts as he sits down beside Bee-Ar. When Bee-Ar hones in on Wolffe, Sadhbh steps between them and glares at Bee-Ar.
"Not him."
"Beep bwoop." And Bee-Ar flops down into a sitting position, his legs sticking out in front.
"You do know I know binary, droid?" Wolffe smirks into the lid of his caf.
"Bee-eep."
Sadhbh sits next to Wolffe and sighs as she sips her herbal tea. They people watch for a few minutes, letting their drinks warm them on this unseasonally chilly morning.
Sadhbh glances over to Wolffe to see that his eyes are closed as he tilts his face to the sun. He looks peaceful, something she had never thought she could say about him. But he does.
She lets another few minutes go by before she cuts to the chase.
"I'm sorry about last night. Throwing Abregado in your face... It was completely uncalled for." she trails off. This had been easier when she had stood in front of her mirror this morning.
"Did I do something?" Wolffe turns to face her when he asks.
Sadhbh feels her mouth tug down and she shakes her head. "No, you haven't. There's just something else going on... it's distracting."
Wolffe's eyes bore into her own and she finds that she can't look away.
"Something... personal?"
She shakes her head again, "No, it's...." she fidgets with her hands, "yeah, it is." As she finishes she stretches her legs out in front of her, crossing them at her ankles. A few moments later, Wolffe shifts to mirror her.
"You want to talk about it?"
She hadn't been expecting that. Sadhbh looks up at him surprised and for a third time she shakes her head, but now it's accompanied with a small smile.
"I'd rather not think about it." Wolffe nods as she talks and the way he looks concerned encourages her to continue. "Besides, by next week the whole thing will be solved and forgotten, I'm just... stressing over nothing."
He doesn't appear to believe her, Wolffe keeps studying her as he lifts his cup up for another sip. Bee-Ar doesn't help by loudly sighing beside her.
"But it's not you." Sadhbh emphasises her words watching him to make sure that he takes them on board.
Wolffe's brows raise slightly and inclines his head further toward her. "Imagine saying that only a few months ago."
It catches her by surprise and Sadhbh laughs hard enough to choke on her drink. Tea gets spluttered in every direction which makes her laugh even more.
She must look like a mess. Sadhbh covers her mouth trying to stop choking and she knows her face must be turning indigo from the embarrassment by now so she looks away from Wolffe.
Distantly she hears Wolffe chuckle and she feels their bench dip as he moves. Napkins appear in front of her and she gratefully takes them, nodding at Wolffe as she mops herself up.
He's grinning when she finishes fixing herself, his eyes glinting with mischief as she finally looks up at him again, and Sadhbh has to look away, laughing again.
His own quiet laughter joins in with hers and Sadhbh is suddenly so glad that she had met him here this morning.
Beep!
Sadhbh flinches and twists her head towards the sound. Wolffe checks his comm on his wrist and hums thoughtfully to himself, reading the message. Sighing he meets Sadhbh's gaze and she knows their time is up.
Wordlessly they rise and Bee-Ar jumps up onto Sadhbh's arm to climb up on her back. Wolffe rubs the back of his neck evidently wanting to say something but whatever it is he decides against it.
When it becomes clear he's not going to say whatever it is, Sadhbh offers, "Until next time?"
"Yeah. I'll comm you." This morning it sounds like the confident statement it is, not the question from last night.
"I wager you make it to orbit before you need to vent about something." Sadhbh purses her lips to try to stop smiling, glad that they're back in their comfortable banter.
"That's fucking generous. I don't think we'll have left the dock before the 'Pack do something." There's no heat to his grumbling and his eye roll is more fond than annoyed.
With one last goodbye, he steps away, smirking when Sadhbh gives him a lazy salute.
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