i have this dream of being whole, of not going to sleep each night, wanting. / ray 🥺 said: @blindsite

THERES A CLEAR PICTURE IN HER MIND THE LAST TIME SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN WHOLE. there’s a moment recalling, the way her nose scrunches, her eyes soften. it’s a balmy floridian summer, a creek at the back of her abuelo’s property and a rickety old swing. she and her brother had spent all day there until their fingertips and toes pruned up. that was the last time she was whole. before her brother joined up, before youth spun away and she followed after high school. she’s clinging onto particles of dust now, she’s grieving the life she should of had. “—you’re getting really poetic on me now, ray.” gloria nudges his arm with her own.

eyes were nearly closed before the thought crossed his mind. he spoke, lashes still upon his cheek and darkness before him. ray had previously been staring up at the starry sky with her, but decided to give himself a little break — a moment of solace to breathe deep and enjoy the fresh night air. ❝ what can i say? i'm not all surface level. ❞ finally, he peers over at her with the nudge of her arm. a smile begins to pull at the corners of his lips.

@blindsite || a meme from up in here! || accepting!

[ stormy ] sender arrives at receiver's doorstep soaking wet / from the giant perhaps in the au he meets her before canon events happen? before shadow and all

the storm that rolled is one of those early fall bangers. the kind where summer's fighting like hell to hang on and losing the battle. thunder hits so hard that it makes the wooden framed windows of her house rattle each time it claps. and the rain? the rain pummels the glass on the east side of her house. and the roof? it beats against it in an unending downpour of an orchestral delight. laura loves nights like this. where the power's gone out and she's got dozens of candles lit all around the place. but especially the living room and hallway.

cause she's curled up there with a blanket and a book. mostly reading the novel but more or less simply enjoying watching the lightning dance across the sky and listening to the thunder roar. a battery powered radio says that there's a tornado warning in the county over. best to keep it on and make sure it doesn't spread her way. but she's got a basement and isn't too nervous. devil may care that a tornado warning's gonna put her on edge anyway.

not during her favorite weather.

she barely hears the first knock on the door. chalking it up to the thunder until her cat reacts and goes dashing down the hallway towards it like the dog it thinks it is. a frown of a glance towards the empty hallway and she tugs her blanket up over her shoulders. feet hit the floor. laura goes to the door after the second round. on her tip toes, she looks through the peephole. she's got no idea who the guy is but he's fucking huge. a bang of thunder ends her cat's convictions and sends it skittering back towards the living room. but she fastens the chain lock in place and opens the door..

it wasn't often that he had to travel through the horde in inclement weather and perhaps, that's why he spun out into the middle of the small town instead of closer to her doorstep. the allfather, as he was called, sent him to see who the person was that was projected to fall for shadow moon. unless it was disrupted by anything major, the two should meet in the coming months and become seriously engaged to one another within that next year.

after walking for nearly 45 minutes in the pouring rain, the only thing that wasn't wet was the outside of his boots. . . and they were waterproof. he was soaked entirely to the bone. sweeney was only supposed to be observing her as an outsider, but now? he was pissed. fucking right angry. so, he would be inserting himself into her life. fuck wednesday and his grand scheme. the leprechaun had no clue as to the end game of this plan. he was left in the dark and used as hired muscle — or the person to do tasks that wednesday deemed lesser than.

on her doorstep, fist rose and hesitated. he wondered, for only a moment, how terrible the repercussions of this interference would be. the chill running through his bones was the only reason he decided to throw care to the wind. knuckles rapped once. allowed a few moments between before they landed upon the door another time. the thunder and lightning would make it hard to hear so he decided it wouldn't hurt.

SHE NEVER HAD ANY REASON TO DOUBT THE MAN AND SHE WASN'T ABOUT TO START NOW. time made no difference, it just carved out their edges a little sharper but she knew he'd never shy away from something like that. she wouldn't either. "you know i'll take you up on that the moment i get over being stubborn about asking for it." a stubbornness likely to never pass from her bones but trust goes a long way in her books, enough she'd put pride aside and take a deep breath. the neverending curse of a healer who pieces everyone else back together but leaves all her personal wounds open and untended. that all gets easy to push to the back of her mind the longer he smiles like that at her. " i won't pass that up and i'll take a burger, whatever you have for it- the messier the better. please and thank you." gloria leans back in the chair, smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. in his absence, she'd divided her attention between finding where nova had run off to and sneaking glances at ray as if she was running a rogue reconnaissance mission.

at the wording of her burger order, ray can't help a wide smile. she was still a girl after his own heart. . . even he couldn't help glancing back at her at least twice. partially for his own benefit and to make sure she really was there. gloria had found her way back into his life and he couldn't imagine that she ever wasn't there. the absence was felt, but it was mended as if no years had passed. once he was back within her presence, it was as if time had returned to a comfortable pace. no longer slowed and weirdly empty. ❝ shit, you don't have to do anything. i'm sorry, i should have told you — you look amazing. i almost couldn't believe my eyes when i saw you. ❞ the dog had wedged herself between his legs as he sat and gladly took all the attention she could get. he didn't mind. another hearty swig of beer as he pets behind nova's ears more. his eyes glinted at gloria over the rim of his bottle. he meant the compliment more than she knew.

IT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF EMPATHY STRETCHED OUT. it's genuine and unspoken to the grief she's hanging onto. the warmth under his palm does wonders to temper the sadness and bring her back into the world and out of her head. it wasn't like all those pitiful eyes that stared at her family, the ones that talked about paying the ultimate sacrifice but never understood. her smile twists if only for a moment, the nod of understanding anything to do with the nightmare of veterans affairs. "ah, yeah that unfortunately doesn't surprise me- a pat on the back and a thank you for service only counts while you're in." a hint of bitterness sits at the back of her throat. all the fight she'd had in her out of circumstances only went towards squeezing out survivor benefits for her best friend left widowed by the other one. gloria doesn't press him on it, not yet, at least.

the color upon her cheeks made a sparkle appear in his eyes. he tried not to react to it more than that. ❝ you'll be invited as long as i'm here. ❞ that was a guarantee. he bounced off of the column to fully stand now. standing above her as he took the last swallow of his beer to hide any other appreciation in his face at gloria's reaction to him. her tone shift from dancing around their attraction to one another into caring and tender made his heart ache. olive gaze glanced down to her hand upon his forearm and a soft smile twitched within beard. ❝ i want you to know you aren't alone. if you ever need anything now that you're here, let me know. ❞ eyes flickered up to her face once more and then her foot hit at his. mischief squints at the corners of his eyes now. ❝ i'll do you one better. want a burger or hotdog too? make it however you want, just give me your order. ❞ hand reached to take the empty from her and waited for her to tell him what she wanted before he walked away.

IT WASN'T AN INVITATION SHE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY PASSED UP. trading the east coast in for the west coast mends a few stitches of a broken spirit. she's made for the warmth of it, made for sundresses and faded sunsets - made for war and patching others back up. ghosts follow her no matter where she roams, but the moment she'd sunk her toes into californian sand she felt a touch lighter. closer to what she'd lost and more gained in contact with fellow servicemen and women. some are still in, and most are out now but it provides the grounds of familiarity that couldn't be duplicated with everyday people. it was her first barbeque since moving and gloria had been urged to bring both a date and her four-legged companion. she'd already lost track of her date. her dog already off scoping out affection from any and every single person the doberman possibly could.

the exclamation from her warmed him. damn, she still could curse like with the best of them. as they part, he leads her a few feet away under the porch awning and he leans against one of the columns. ❝ glad to hear that, ❞ a pause in response to her well-being and a melancholy smile passes over his lips. ray knows all to well what the last of that sentence was. large hand reaches and lands upon her shoulder in a quick, reassuring squeeze. he couldn't nor wouldn't talk about it yet. they had some time. ❝ i've been out here for a while. doing whatever i can to make some fucking money. ❞ eyes roll a little at that as he sips his beer. there wasn't any elaboration on that . . . he didn't want her to know the depths he'd sunk to out of anger and desperation from how he'd been treated since being discharged.

her arms squeeze his middle tight when he mentions she doesn't have to apologize. listen. she didn't apologize for much in her life. one of those live life with little to no regrets sort've people. until she had so many she didn't know what to do to fix them. when there was nothing at all she could do. because the people she owed those apologies to made it fucking damn clear they weren't going to accept them even if she came back from the dead and had the chance to give them in fucking person. so... she means the apology and she hopes he knows that it runs pretty deep. it's not a surface set of words to smooth things over. it's a real i'm sorry and it means everything to her that he accepts it and thanks her for it. "you're welcome," she murders and he might be able to hear the slight smile written on her mouth. the relief in her voice. that she was heard and accepted.

"we're both whores. i'm fine with that. kinda put me on the road to where i am now. didn't it?" she's joking. self-deprecation at it's finest. but does she regret where she ended up now? "if you think about it. if i was a good girl and did everything right. not only would i have been boring as fuck. but.. would i be here? maybe not." even if it was a fucking wild, hellish ride to get here? it's fucking weird to think about. sitting here, spider style with him. if she didn't do the fucked up shit she did. if she didn't end up dying for it. or dying because of it. maybe she never would've taken shadow home to begin with. good girls don't fuck thieves. good girls don't deal cards in casinos either. or maybe her and shadow would've met regardless and they would've found another way to kill her (there's something to think about...). she wouldn't have this. fucked up that in death, she ends up finding someone who's... who's...him.

these things to light. sweeney means their feelings. how much they want each other. how much they'd like to break the fingers of someone else touching the other person. how her chest and her skull itched seeing him hitting up someone else to take to bed. until he did and then it was a crack in her that filled it up with someone else. until she was filling it up with him. only it wasn't. it warms her heart and snaps her out of that train of thought when he makes reasons for her mother to be her mother and earns him a turn of her head against her resting spot where she brushes the edge of her lips over his chest.

a kiss? barely.. but maybe the start of one.

green eyes find his once fine, little hairs settle. "you kinda did end up in a ditch. a sidewalk ditch but it was close enough to a ditch with all that garbage in it to count," now she smirks. one hand moves up from his side to cup his face. the touch is feather light and barely there. her thumb moves along the edge of a prominent nose. "yeah, i know. maybe i got more of your luck than just a coin. maybe i stole it all.." words are soft but their implications run just as deep. "guess that means you really are stuck with me. must suck to be you."

he did hear the smile in her voice. it was subtle, and for a moment he was amazed. they knew each other far too well from their time together and that fact did warm his heart. fuck. he was in with large boot heels over his head now. ❝ glad ya are one. that way ya know where my fuckin' head is at all the time. ❞ sweeney meant half-way in the dark gutters. sometimes his physical body would start there and only his head would be left floating out among parade beads and empty beer bottles. she could likely see that in his gaze. it was always appraising, heavy upon those he found himself attracted to. heavy upon laura.

❝ life would be borin' as fuck any other way. drinkin', fuckin', mischief, and what? eatin' good food? ❞ tongue clicked in approval. a wider smile now bared white teeth. if not in amusement at his statement, one could have found it predatory. like a wolf. he was speaking about the primal things in life anyway. laura's lips brushed against the 'borrowed' western denim shirt. with anyone else, he wouldn't have felt that small of contact, but they were connected and he very much felt it. chest rose and fell in a shuddered breath because of it.

her pointing out the obvious made him roll his eyes a bit. playfully so. ❝ i'm not talkin' about the literal. i'm talkin' about the metaphor for death. ❞ the thought chilled his bones. but he could feel it. there were hands curled around a corner somewhere in the distance. eyes would soon peer around and follow, watching him. the banshees. that was what would take him into the darkness, though it wasn't what would kill him. sweeney was sure on that. a guess could be hazard without much thought given : wednesday. her hand graze upon his cheek does do something to calm him. face tilts into the touch. olive gaze nearly crosses as he watches her small thumb on his nose. he gives up on that and settles for her face instead. his own fingers moved over her spine slowly. they followed each peak and trough of the vertebrae. while he was capable of feather touch like hers, he didn't do that. instead, his was more sure and stronger felt. ❝ no, love, i don't think it does suck to me be right about now. ❞