a wild totoro appeared

"I hate when the skeletons on decorations aren't anatomically accurate." A Halloween skeleton isn't the same as what's inside you, idiot. It's different. A Halloween skeleton is, like. A guy or something. It's an animal.

If Halloween skeletons had bones like ours instead of hollow bones like that of a bird, they wouldn't be able to play their ribcages like xylophones. You sound so fucking uneducated right now.

I’m slowly beginning to accept the reality that 2007 was not last year but in fact almost four years ago

[sexting] well actually topologically speaking you can't really use 'all three' of my holes. there's just the one. no that's the other end of the hole. no i think that other one counts as a pit. hello. where did you go

the thing is. you couldn't fucking write this. not even in my wildest dreams did i ever think yeah dan and phil are gonna hard launch and then announce a podcast called hard launch and then the next day they post a selfie in bed and then the next day dan tweets fifty times in one afternoon joking about breaking up and then the next day they're spotted filming at the london eye and then the next day they make their first red carpet appearance in seven years and it's at a gay bdsm film and then the next day it's october 19th and then the next day the first episode of the podcast comes out and they talk about a previously untold gay scandal anecdote

i've never been a separate beds truther because i know those men would wear each other's skin if they could, but in light of this confirmation can i just say that they are so strong bc dan and phil both seem like they would be a nightmare to sleep next to for several different reasons

dan keeping the pinof questions in a special box and dan and phil planting a cherry blossom in the backyard of their forever home to remember their time in japan and dan and phil going on the london eye to commemorate their date on the manchester eye.