you wouldn’t understand.

We should piss on the poor

How dare you say that reading comprehension on this site is piss poor

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing (so devoted the lines blur)

Who up verbing they noun

I verb on his noun til he past participle

they're letting just anybody order a happy meal nowadays

i saw a sad person order one a d the employees jumped the counter and poured hot oil all on him and shatteredhis ankles with spatulas

they're letting almost anybody order a happy meal nowadays

WAIT FUCK SHIT IT'S 1 O'COCK I GOTTA GO TO BED BRB GOODNIGHT

COCK???

logging onto tumblr is basically just saying hi i'm annoying sad and horny and i'm gonna make it everyone's problem

people who use tumblr as “this app” and people who use tumblr as “this website”…we are leading very different lives

idk why people say "sleep is for the weak" like....ok maybe to YOU.... to ME sleep is for the cozy....like stfu maybe if you went honk mimimimimi honk mimimimimi you'd calm down

she yank on it till i die

scary man who really loves his wife 🥺🥺

scary man who really loves his scarier wife 🥲

one thing about orpheus and eurydice is you guys are all like “i’m different i wouldnt turn to look at her” because you are all familiar with the story of orpheus and eurydice. but orpheus wasnt familiar with the story because he was in it lol.

ill never win an idgaf war love disarms me completely and im bleeding out

my erectile dysfunction is so bad today dude i hate having adhd

EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION

the feminine urge to be ominous & terrifying

100 pink color beverages for me please.