Lord of the Midnight Sun

I'll admit that the silliest things make me depressed. Like making a new reddit account to start planting seeds/promoting a new thing I'm working on, making a post and immediately having the post deleted because of reddit auto filters since I don't have enough points. Like it's just such a solid reminder of how far gone the internet is from what I grew up with. Corporations came and in shitted it up so much every website has to have intense anti-bot measures that it's hard to just post like a normal fucking person.

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

haters do not want you to know this but if you pick up something heavy every day it will eventually stop being quite as heavy. this is because the heavy thing, having witnessed your dedication, begins to yield its essence to you. and you, in turn, begin to absorb that essence into your own being. this is what makes people strong. the more essence you absorb, the stronger you become, and the more respect you command from the world around you.

#follow for more workout tips from Pliny the Elder (via @elucubrare)

can anyone find the satiric newspaper headline that might have been something other than the onion that was along the lines of “‘This Is More Relevant/Timely Than Ever,’ Says Theater Company About to Put on Oldass Play Worse Than Has Ever Been Done Before”

apparently shaq was using his sponsorship with sora to make pictures and videos of his imagined romantic life with marilyn monroe and the children they would have together……. and then posting it where the entire world, including his real actual children, can see it 🫠🫠🫠

oh thank goodness

I think that if I was an immortal with a really overclocked can-survive-from-a-single-cell regeneration factor, my eventual fucked up immortal boredom hobby would be creating a replica of my skeleton. Like just removing bones one at a time and letting them regrow until I had enough for a complete set. Then I'd put it in a standing glass case like a museum exhibit and keep it around as a showpiece.

Why stop at bones?

My immortal boredom hobby would be to carry a loaded revolver everywhere I go and shoot myself at the slightest inconvenience. I said you too to the waiter? BLAM!!! It's too hot? BLAM!!! I don't like the movie I'm watching? BLAM!!! This will, of course, traumatize everyone else around me, but that's a sacrifice that I am willing to make.

You're the second person to share this exact fucked up immortal boredom hobby in an hour. Should I be concerned

BRING HIM BACK

being moderately proficient with computers in the early 2010s was casting a hex on your family to call you sheldon

i got a big bang theory box set and a bazinga t shirt for christmas when i was 16

my dad wanted to get me a psych eval so i could say "im not crazy. my father had me tested." like sheldon did and after the psych eval they diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia

this could be the funniest thing that has happened to anyone ever. my condolences king

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!