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(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information

Oh 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂! You didn’t tell me you had a beast in your home. You’ve got a little goggyee. Eh- BOGGY. A poopy dog. A buppy- a little 𝐹𝑈𝐶𝐾𝐼𝑁𝐺 ƊOƐGGУ. I’ve never seen a reell dog before! We only have Lego® Dogs on Lego® Island. 𝒪𝒽! Oh FUCK! Oh fuck nooo! This red bastard’s got teeth! Sharp teethh. He’s going to tear me into little Lego® pieces. I’ve never been so scared in my life! WHAT THE FUCK this is like a jumpscare from Five Fuckers at Uncle Festers. GET ME THE  𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂  OUT OF HERE!

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

gato’s allegory of the fishtank

my partner and i have become fixated on this stupid comment left by a conspiracy theorist on instagram and we can't stop saying it and i just know i'm gonna slip up and say it to a normal person

just turned a mouse into a single ounce of lead

Merry out of touch Christmas everyone